u/CannibalAquarian

Hi again, third time's the charm, right? Thanks for the suggestions kendrafsilver! I took your direction and hope it's more coherent.

Dear (insert),

Ashes to Ashes is a multi-POV queer, dark thriller set in a sleazy 1980s drug-fueled funfair circuit. The novel is complete at 98k. This story has a similar sinister vibe as (fill in book later) and the purgatory feel of (fill in needed).

Zeke’s life is full of users. His estranged mother used meth, teaching him how to pawn at an early age, including gifts from grandma. Best friend and secret crush, Alex, uses him like an emotional support dog ever since they met in juvie. Now, with a deepening drug addiction, Alex uses him as currency, solidifying the last user into Zeke’s life: their drug-dealing boss. He uses Zeke’s body to pay off Alex’s growing drug debts. 

Zeke and Alex work at a travelling fair as carnies. They knew they wanted out of small town poverty, but their amorphous illusion of Florida was outside their pawn shop budget. Then the fair came to town. It wasn’t a tropical get-away, but it ferried them away from trailer parks and trauma. 

While manning the dart booth, Zeke meets college student, Julien. Drowning in the trappings of generational wealth, Julien bounces from college to college, desperate to connect with “regular” people. Differences aside, they bond through creative writing, and the burden of monstrous men controlling their lives until Alex catches them flirting. Jealous, Alex challenges Julien to a game and loses by a hair. This only piques the college student’s interest in the charismatic pair of carnies.

Julien and Alex stumble through days and nights with erratic sexual trysts but Julien finds himself drawn to Zeke, not only sexually, but intellectually. As they grow closer, Julien tries to convince him there’s a future in his writing, and if he wants, with Julien. But Zeke is used to pipe dreams and empty promises.

Zeke chooses the devil he knows, and after confronting his jealousy, Alex realizes he’s chosen Zeke all along. The boys devise a plan to rob their boss to finance their escape. When the job turns deadly, Zeke and Alex must navigate the consequences of their codependency and its destructive wake.  

[57 word biography is here]

hi all! Thank you for all the great advice for the first draft. Hopefully this one is better. Version 2. I am omitting my bio, and any suggestions of similar books to read is appreciated as well, to get my "references".

ASHES TO ASHES is a dark romance set in a sleazy 1980s drug-fueled funfair circuit. The novel is complete at 98k. This story has a similar sinister vibe as (fill in book later) and blah blah blah to blah the blah. And also, blah to complete the blah because apparently the blah is needed.

Soft-hearted delinquent, Zeke, dreams of escaping small town life to somewhere more tropical. He also dreams of fucking his best friend, Alex, though Alex seems satisfied with Zeke’s role as his well-heeled dog. Instead of fleeing to Florida, the young men do the next best thing within their pawn shop budget: join a travelling fair as carnies.

Alex quickly immerses himself in drugs and bad influences, and Zeke, in sexual trades with the dangerous drug-dealing carnival owner to pay off Alex’s growing debt. As things escalate from powders to needles, they double-down on the Florida dream; try to outrun Alex’s self-destructive behavior. 

While manning the dart booth, Zeke meets college student, Julien. Drowning in the trappings of generational wealth, Julien bounces from college to college, desperate to connect with “regular” people. Differences aside, they bond through writing, horror novels, and the trauma of monstrous men controlling their lives until Alex catches them flirting. Jealous, Alex challenges Julien to a game and loses by a hair. This only piques the college student’s interest in the charismatic pair of carnies. 

Julien and Alex stumble through each other’s days and nights with erratic sexual trysts but Julien finds himself drawn to Zeke, not only sexually, but intellectually. As they become closer, Julien tries to convince the young man there is a future in his writing, and if he wants, with him. But Zeke’s codependency to Alex is terminal. As is the feeling of impending doom if they don’t run soon. 

Zeke chooses the devil he knows, and he and Alex devise a plan to rob their boss. When the job goes horribly wrong, Zeke must deal with the consequences and the lasting losses it brings. 

(Bio here at 57 words)