struggling to stay on track parenting a fussy kid
My youngest (6) is a very fussy/picky eater and we are years (!!) into a very slow and irregular journey into trying to trying to change his eating habits and recalibrate meal times away from shouting, crying and all-round stress levels. Our eldest (10) is a placid omnivore and always has been.
I think the best policy, which we've come up with in concert with a child nutritionist and according to the NHS advice, is to not push Youngest into eating things he doesnt want to. There is something they like at every meal, and we encourage them to try one bite of new food, but we never force them to eat more than they want, or tell them they have to finish their plate. Dessert is always fruit, and we never use dessert as a reward. If Youngest wants dessert they get it regardless of how much they have eaten of their main. Likewise, we've stopped using chocolate or sweets as a reward for good behaviour outside of meal times.
The idea is to remove all negative or positive associations with food. Nothing is a reward, and therefore nothing is a punishment.
It's very slow going. VERY. But, the main positive development is that meal times are no longer stress filled and acrimonious. And that feels like a good thing to me.
The issue is that my husband is the one who struggles to accept our agreed strategy. Every now and again he will blow up at Youngest and get into a battle of wills with them over finishing their plate, or getting dessert, or not trying more than a tiny bite of new food. And I feel that we go straight back to square one with Youngest seeing food as a horror that must be endured, and Husband acting like he can use his raised voice and "paternal discipline" to change the situation.
I've tried showing him the NHS advice, and even all the peer reviewed studies about how forcing children to eat doesn't result in better outcomes but he always falls back on "but he has to eat!! he can't just not eat his dinner!".
Has anyone else gone through this and offer me any solution or maybe just hope that it will get better?