So sick of the apps
So a while back at work I (36 m) had the most stunning younger guy (19 m) come in. Super long dark hair, which has always been a thing for me, slight build, freckles like a goddamn instagram filter. When I first saw him I was like, probably college stoner dude, probably straight. Reminded me of all the guys I had crushes on growing up. All very cute. All very straight.
Wrong. The moment he started talking, this femmy little supernova had rainbows firing out of every pore. Completely comfortable and self-possessed. Dominated the room with this radiant theatre kid energy. His personality was so counter to his grungy "I fell asleep in Seattle around the time Nevermind was released and woke up in 2026" vibe. I was immediately like, goddamn. This one is a fucking unicorn. I love femboys, but he was something different. A little bit feral. A little bit wild and untamed. There was just something about him that captivated me.
We joked around a little but I make it a rule to keep a professional wall between myself and clients. It's a deeply homophobic work environment, and so dating customers is not something I would be comfortable with, much less customers who are nearly twenty years younger than me. So I figured, fuck it, unicorn boy coming in once a month for 15 minutes will be something I get to look forward to, but that's the extent of it. Then serendipity happened. I got laid off that week.
Fuck that place, I do not mourn the job at all. But I did mourn unicorn boy. That actually felt like a small loss. The nature of my line of work would have brought him back about once a month for a few months, and the only thing I actually regretted was missing that little 15 minute window in which I could stand in the room with someone so gorgeous. And then grindr happened
A few days later, there he was on the grid. He wasn't in the daddy tribe and his profile listed nothing about being interested in older, so normally I would not bother approaching but I was like fuck it, I may as well say something. He'll probably just ignore me and that will be that, but what have I got to lose. And he did ignore me. For a little while. Then a day later I get the notification. No fucking way. Unicorn boy responded. And then he kept responding. For a month.
We even got as far as him offering to come over but he got cold feet. He said he was nervous because he'd never met up with anyone from the apps before and my heart melted. I was like, what fuck? I was going to be unicorn boy's first grindr meeting? Not at all where I thought this was headed the day we met. (which, as an aside, makes this whole reaction kind of funny because... literally what are you talking about you adorable menace? We have factually already met) And so I told him he could take as much time as he needed, I don't mind. I don't want to make him do anything he's uncomfortable doing. And so we kept chatting, kept everything in the getting to know you stage.
Until he stopped. That sucked. He never blocked me, he just eventually left me on read and never picked the ball back up. Whatever. It happens. But now I've got this unicorn shaped hole in my life so I say fuck it, let's move on and find someone else. And I get positive responses from maybe 8 or 9 replacement unicorn's who all do the same goddamn thing. Talk, things get interesting, ghost. Every single one.
And that's grindr for you. I'd love to blame it on the younger generation, but I did the same shit at that age. I occasionally do the same shit at this age. The apps are atrocious ways to meet people. I can't imagine I'm the only one with this problem.
If you're an older guy who successfully meets up with a lot of younger dudes on the apps...Like, what the hell are you doing? I want to learn this strange witchcraft.