r/gayyoungold

Me (22) and my boyfriend (60) has a lot of sex problems. Our sex drives just don’t match and I crave intimacy more than he does which really sucks. And now, there’s a chance he might have prostate cancer which adds salt to the wound because if he gets his prostate removed, we’ll never have good sex again. It’s a hard pill to swallow.

We been talking about opening our relationship but I’m just scared. I’m not the type of person to hook up with random people. I just want to have good sex with the person I love, but I can’t. I wish I didn’t have to deal with these problems. But I guess this is what I get for dating an older guy. I love him and I really don’t want to break up with him. That’s why all of this is so hard on me.

What to do? I'm not at all into bs games or being a sugar daddy etc. But just am not meeting guys my own age that don't bore me to death lol.

Hey everyone, I’ve been turning this over in my head for a while and I finally want to get it out there to see if anyone else relates or has advice.
Here’s the fantasy: I want my Dominant to "rent" me or even "sell" me to others (clients, friends, or the community) specifically to make money for \*him\*.
The goal isn't just for him to grab cash, but for him to make enough through my "work" that he can eventually quit his day job. I want to be the asset that frees him. I want to serve him so well, so intensely, and for so long that I become his full-time income source.
There’s a specific layer of consent-to-non-consent in my head that makes this work: I want him to do this \*against my will\*(or at least against my initial protests). I want to feel like I’m being taken advantage of by him, even though deep down I know he’s doing it for our mutual benefit (his freedom, my purpose). There’s something deeply submissive about being "used up" to secure his future.
Does this dynamic make sense to anyone? Has anyone done a "provider/sub as income" dynamic like this? Or is it just a weird niche fantasy?
I’m looking for feedback, similar experiences, or just validation that this isn’t completely unhinged. Thanks for reading.

Okay maybe I'm not that late. I'm a 32 year old guy who started getting more curious over the past few years. My attraction towards older men grew. I had always been with women so this came as a....surprise.

I told my then gf last year and we amicably split up. After a few months I decided it was time to explore and live. I went on the apps etc and met some older guys. I loved it. Last November I met a man who's 59 while out shopping. We clicked instantly and swapped numbers. It took me a while to text as I felt somewhat nervous.

Well fast forward to now and I'm so glad I did! We've been together just over 3 months and I absolutely love it. I'm really discovering myself! We celebrated pride together and it was awesome.

So my older bf is a top. He has only topped until he met me. I am a side, in that I have no strong preference to top or bottom.

He claims he's a top but when sex gets really heated, he'd get on all four and wants me to top him. And eventually I did, I learned topping, which is something he desires, I think, he took the initiative on his own to learn to douche and finger himself. But I think that's died down. We no longer have anal sex.

Anyway, when we talk about sex, he'd default to topping. Like cheating jokes would imply that he's a top.

Now, into a conversation involving stereotypes and fetishes:

I know the guys he likes, dated, and looks at in public. They're quintessential Asians — dark hair, smooth skin, skinny, less pronounced features. He's German. I'm mixed.

So sometimes I often feel like I'm too masculine. Too much hair on my body even if I wax or shave. My facial features too angular. Too sallow (we're similar in skin tone but he's rosy while I'm a true olive, not golden like other Asians).

I feel like I'm something uncivilized, like an ogre, trying to play dress up and dollhouse with the other gays.

Do I want him to top me? Yes. But he has said that he doesn't feel that way about me though it is his fantasy to top others.

Do I enjoy bottoming? Not necessarily. I just enjoy having him on top. And often times in sex, he does get on top of me and fuck my thighs.

A lot of Asians would think I am attractive, but I think internationally, I really have a face without an imprint or context. I don't easily fit into someone's type. I feel like white guys have an inherent feminity in the broader sense — rosy skin, narrower features — but they can also lean into masculinity very naturally. And Asian guys in interracial dating are easily perceived as delicate, youthful... I don't belong.

I was visiting some family and went for a walk when a handsome older fellow pulled up to a house in the neighborhood in a fancy red three wheeler. Wanting to practice my people skills, I decided to approach him and ask about his sweet ride. He was immediately excited to show off, rattling on about car lingo I pretended to understand and act impressed about hehe. He was very cute and animated. I felt very privileged to get to hear him talk about something he’s passionate about.

Eventually, he offered me a ride! Of course, I couldn’t turn him down. I hopped in and he accelerated down the road. I panicked a bit and asked him to slow down, which he kindly did, but I’m sure the adrenaline helped produce the giddy feelings I still have. With the wind blowing through our faces, I asked about his life and praised all the bells and whistles. I could definitely listen to him talk for a while. He just seemed so sweet and gentlemanly. I’ll try to hold back my thirsty thoughts about his mustache for now lol but all in all the interaction made me yearn for a relationship with a man like him. If I knew how, I might have tried to flirt with him. He probably wasn’t gay but a girl can dream :)

I need only older man advice please.

I’m in my 20s, he is in his 50s and has a family.

We met through work earlier this year, seeing each other weekly for about three months. Work ended but we stayed in contact.

We hit it off very quickly. I didn't want anything from him just to be friends and hang out.

He was curious and started asking about gay sex.
I told i was attracted to him and i started flirting with him several times. He liked it. He was alone at home for a week and tried to get me to give him a blowjob once, but I turned him down.

While i was moving. Second time i invited him to see my new place then he tried to ask a bj again and this time I didn't refuse. I wanted to do it and asked him this is what you want too? He said yes. He wanted to cum in my mouth because his wife doesn't allow that.

After he came I saw that he was confused a bit.

It happened, two days later he messaged me just once saying he can’t come to meet up for the next time. But he never told me I shouldn't contact him ever again.

He blocked me everywhere so he didn't got my messages. When I called him from a different number, he hung up on me after 5 sec.

I feel bad because he led on as a friend over several months and feel used like he just wanted to get sucked.

I don't know if it's true, but he hasn't cheated on his wife before me in the last 16 years.

Since his behavior hurt me, I’m planning to tell his wife everything. But many people advise me to not do it.

I have no idea if he feels ashamed or what and I’ll probably never find out.

What would be the right decision?

When I was 20 I met up with a guy in his early 50’s. He was the quintessential blue collar type guy, bald headed with a nice beard and a huge firm belly. I’d had a thing for older guys already but he was my first real dom top experience. He wanted to lock me up because he said I didn’t get to touch myself and even though I was nervous I let it happen. He also had the thickest cock I’d experienced at that point. He said good boys get bred and letting him put the cage on me made me a very good boy, so he started to lube himself up without any condom. It was really hard to take him but he still went slow so I could adjust.

After a while it started to feel much better. I loved the way his belly filled the curve of my back while he had me face down in his bed. I could feel myself opening up with every stroke but the further in we got, the more aggressive his dirty talk became. “I’m gunna knock you up boy,” was something that changed me. To a degree I forgot for a second that couldn’t happen but he said it a few more times making me think he meant it. Still pinning me down under his full weight, I listened to him gasp and groan while he unloaded into me.

I was very happy with the sex and we laid there together for a while now chatting like normal. Coming out of the haze a bit I had forgotten what he said till he put a hand on my belly and started rubbing it. He just looked down at his hand and from my perspective I could see he was still hard. I’m pretty sure he was actually fantasizing about me now being pregnant. Being still in the cage, I hadn’t cum and was still pretty turned on so I rolled more onto my side so he could get a grip on my ass again. Not even rubbing it, he sat up and rolled me over before getting back on top and doing it again.

To this day I have a pretty heavy breeding kink and I think to a degree that’s where it really started. I never saw him again after that but I still think about it sometimes when I go looking to meet a daddy.

Yo, sup?

A few daddies (55to70yr) said they love talking to me. I use a lot of emoji like this 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀and they always reply with this 👍 or ok. Sometimes only a few sentence to my paragraphs. They never told me to stop yapping like that.

I feel like I am being ignored or maybe they are not interested in me.

Even on grindr, the replies feels very dry. Do daddies hate texting a lot?
I am 23, btw.

Hi guys, sorry if this topic is a bit of a downer but I could really use some external perspectives on this.

My partner (65) and I (29) have been together for over 3 years. It has been my first serious relationship, and while it started short-term I'm now looking at things long term ...and don't really like what I see. By that I mean that from about 5-10 years from now to 20+ years from now he will likely be increasingly disabled and will need care from me physically, emotionally, and in our case, financially. After that he will die and I will be left alone in middle age, and will have to go through the same thing again with myself and any future partners. I do not anticipate that either of us will enjoy any of this, but for me it's something I would be signing myself up for.

The fact that people age and die isn't news to me - I just wasn't thinking that far ahead when the relationship began. I also viewed the relationship as something that if it wasn't making me happy I could just leave, so any serious issues my partner experienced in general weren't necessarily my problem. That's no longer the case now that I'm looking at the relationship as something potentially long-term.

Obviously anything can happen, but the younger one having to care for the older one until their death is something that is highly likely in long-term age-gap relationships, so I'm interested in how you all are dealing with this.

These are the options I see for the younger one in age-gap relationships who is looking at this in advance:

• Option 1: The younger one stays with the older one and takes care of him until he dies. After the older one dies the younger one grieves and starts over.
• Option 2: The relationship ends.
  • 2a: It ends when the burden of care is too much for the younger one.
  • 2b: It ends ASAP so that both parties can find partners who match their long-term needs.
• Option 3: The dynamic/scope of the relationship is changed so that only a part of it dies with the older one rather than the whole thing. This would potentially reduce the burden of care and make the younger one less alone while grieving.
  • 3a: Add 1 or more people to the relationship who are younger.
  • 3b: Add kids (who will be grown up before the older one starts needing serious care).

I don't think that strangers' input on my specific situation based on just the information in this post will be that useful, but I would really appreciate any fresh perspectives on aging and death in the older-younger dynamic. Basically anything that can ground the thoughts that have been going in circles in my head. Some specific question I had would be:

• Are there any options that I've missed?
• What suboptions have I missed? (I'm sure there are plenty)
• Are there any keys parts or dynamics that I've missed for the options I listed, based on your experiences?
• If you are the younger one in your relationship and you have taken any of these options, how did it go? e.g.
  • If you took option 1, was it something you planned for or kinda just ended up doing? What is your plan for afterwards and your experience so far?
  • If you ended the relationship, how did you go about doing so? Going forward what was your policy, e.g. do you still date older men and let them know that you're looking for something short term or did you bite the bullet and start dating people closer to your age so you only have to go through aging and death once? Either way how is that going?
  • If you took option 3 I'd love to hear how you did it and what it has been like, as that is by far the most theoretical option for me and I'm not sure what it would actually look like.
• If you are the older one in your relationship, how do you discuss and plan for disability and death with your partner? My partner's plan for most things is to not plan too much and hope things work out, which stresses me out for monthly bills let alone life planning. I tried bringing up my anxiety about his future health and death and he was a bit insulted that I was looking at this from pretty much only my perspective rather than his (fair enough), and in general it was clearly not something he wanted to discuss.

edit: People have said the post is too long so I've moved this section to the end since it's not really relevant to other people's experiences (which is what I'm interested in). Feel free to skip it.

Personally for me this is how I see the options:

• Option 1: I anticipate that I would regret choosing this option once it was over. If the current trend of my emotional investment continues then by the point care is needed my need to support him would override my unhappiness (assuming I do not get depressed to the point that I cannot provide care), but I would likely feel trapped. I know a lot of younger guys enjoy caring for their loved one but I do not think I will be the same, at least not with that as the majority of the relationship and knowing that I'll have to start over afterwards and do it again.
• Option 2: Losing one of my only close connections and the self-inflicted heartbreak would make me extremely unhappy short-term. Things are far from perfect but I've dealt with depression most of my life and things are alright currently, which is a lot better than average. There are other issues in the relationship but it feels very weird to be thinking of ending it when there aren't any immediate problems. I'm guessing I will be less unhappy long-term than option 1 though, and at this point in the relationship I'm still prioritizing my own happiness.
  • 2a: This was basically my default when I wasn't thinking about this, but it would be horrible for him and would make me extra unhappy due to the guilt.
  • 2b: Intellectually this seems like the morally correct answer for me, but emotionally I don't want to do it. I'm not sure how I'd even go about doing it to reduce the damage it would do to both of us. I'm also not sure what my plans after the relationship would be.
• Option 3:
  • 3a: My partner would never go for this.
  • 3b: I probably don't want kids and wouldn't be a good father, though my partner probably would be. I think it would technically be possible for us with a cut back on standard of living and us doing foster care of older children rather than adoption, but it's a moot point if I don't actually want this.

Moving back to a town I previously lived in soon after 10 years away.

When I lived there in early 20s I met a daddy in his early 50s. We played a lot, had nice sleepovers, nothing too serious but very sweet. He was fresh out of a divorce but took good care of me.

I told him I was moving back and he says he’d love to see me, and we sexted a bit. I’m trying not to get my hopes up TOO high but damn am I excited to see daddy again after so long. I’m thinking about what I can do to keep him interested and fantasize about us being intimate again.

So a while back at work I (36 m) had the most stunning younger guy (19 m) come in. Super long dark hair, which has always been a thing for me, slight build, freckles like a goddamn instagram filter. When I first saw him I was like, probably college stoner dude, probably straight. Reminded me of all the guys I had crushes on growing up. All very cute. All very straight.

Wrong. The moment he started talking, this femmy little supernova had rainbows firing out of every pore. Completely comfortable and self-possessed. Dominated the room with this radiant theatre kid energy. His personality was so counter to his grungy "I fell asleep in Seattle around the time Nevermind was released and woke up in 2026" vibe. I was immediately like, goddamn. This one is a fucking unicorn. I love femboys, but he was something different. A little bit feral. A little bit wild and untamed. There was just something about him that captivated me.

We joked around a little but I make it a rule to keep a professional wall between myself and clients. It's a deeply homophobic work environment, and so dating customers is not something I would be comfortable with, much less customers who are nearly twenty years younger than me. So I figured, fuck it, unicorn boy coming in once a month for 15 minutes will be something I get to look forward to, but that's the extent of it. Then serendipity happened. I got laid off that week.

Fuck that place, I do not mourn the job at all. But I did mourn unicorn boy. That actually felt like a small loss. The nature of my line of work would have brought him back about once a month for a few months, and the only thing I actually regretted was missing that little 15 minute window in which I could stand in the room with someone so gorgeous. And then grindr happened

A few days later, there he was on the grid. He wasn't in the daddy tribe and his profile listed nothing about being interested in older, so normally I would not bother approaching but I was like fuck it, I may as well say something. He'll probably just ignore me and that will be that, but what have I got to lose. And he did ignore me. For a little while. Then a day later I get the notification. No fucking way. Unicorn boy responded. And then he kept responding. For a month.

We even got as far as him offering to come over but he got cold feet. He said he was nervous because he'd never met up with anyone from the apps before and my heart melted. I was like, what fuck? I was going to be unicorn boy's first grindr meeting? Not at all where I thought this was headed the day we met. (which, as an aside, makes this whole reaction kind of funny because... literally what are you talking about you adorable menace? We have factually already met) And so I told him he could take as much time as he needed, I don't mind. I don't want to make him do anything he's uncomfortable doing. And so we kept chatting, kept everything in the getting to know you stage.

Until he stopped. That sucked. He never blocked me, he just eventually left me on read and never picked the ball back up. Whatever. It happens. But now I've got this unicorn shaped hole in my life so I say fuck it, let's move on and find someone else. And I get positive responses from maybe 8 or 9 replacement unicorn's who all do the same goddamn thing. Talk, things get interesting, ghost. Every single one.

And that's grindr for you. I'd love to blame it on the younger generation, but I did the same shit at that age. I occasionally do the same shit at this age. The apps are atrocious ways to meet people. I can't imagine I'm the only one with this problem.

If you're an older guy who successfully meets up with a lot of younger dudes on the apps...Like, what the hell are you doing? I want to learn this strange witchcraft.

I am a 25 years old finished med school and currently in Jordan. I am manly not girly and I am hairy. I have ambitions and goals and I want to be successful and help people in the future. However, most of the older guys are into hairless twinks and making them like home wives or complete subs. I am not attacking anyone as everyone loves specific stuff and have specific type, I am craving for a guy who loves me for who I am not just the way I look, I tried to hide these emotions through random sex but I can't anymore so I stopped long time ago. It's even harder to find such a thing where I live right now. Is such love possible? where can I find it? is online dating still a thing?
Sorry if I sound like a mess and overwhelmed

So I (M33) met a dude (M52) on Grindr. We started discussing hooking up but he was actually going on vacation the very next day for about a week. However he was interested in meeting up after he got back from his vacation. When he got back he messaged me asking if I’d like to meet up for a coffee. I was a little confused because I thought we were just gonna hook up, but I’m not opposed to getting to know someone before hooking up so I agreed to the coffee. Well we met up and he was a cool dude. We got along pretty well and I was really into him. During our meetup he specifically mentioned that he wasn’t looking to date at the moment and only wanted to hook up. I was perfectly fine with that. Nothing happened on this first meetup but we decided to keep in touch.

The next day I messaged him to tell him I was really into him and would like to meet up again. He agreed and suggested dinner. Well a few days later we met up for dinner and again it went well. During dinner he mentioned a new restaurant that he wanted to try and suggested we go there next time we met up. Again nothing happened during this meetup but we arranged to meet for dinner at the new place he wanted to try. At this point I felt a little confused because he kept wanting to hang out but we never discussed hooking up. I didn’t mind this because I actually really liked hanging out with him. Well our third meetup came and this is where I really felt confused. This time the dinner straight up felt like a date. Our conversations went a lot deeper and we sat at this restaurant for 3 hours just talking. The conversation flowed so naturally the time flew by. Well the dinner ended and we went our separate ways. Keep in mind we haven’t even so much as kissed at this point.

I was actually starting to develop feelings for him. So I message him the next day seeking clarification explaining that I was really enjoying hanging out with him and if he still wanted to only hook up or if he only wanted to hang out platonically or if there were any feelings on his end. Well he has his read receipts on so I know he read the message but a few days passed and he never responded. I figured I had scared him off by telling him I was into him so I just moved on. Eventually he texted me back about a week later but he just sent me a link to song and didn’t mention my other text at all. We started talking again and he asked if I wanted to meet up for dinner again that night. It made me really happy that he wanted to meet up again. Well we grabbed dinner and again it went great and this time he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I obviously agreed. Well back at his place we got to talking and next thing I know 4 hours had passed. We didn’t do anything except talk the whole time and again it was great. We opened up a lot to each other and I felt like I was on cloud nine the whole time. I was hoping something would happen that night but he said he was pretty tired and wanted to go to bed so I headed home. And again not even a kiss was exchanged he just hugged me when I left.

At this point it’s been a few days since then and I feel like I’m going crazy. I am so into him and would really be interested in dating him, but I keep thinking back to him telling me he has no interest in dating at the moment. We’ve exchanged a few texts since then and he seems so disinterested now. He gives me one word responses and seems to have no interest in continuing the conversation. However I did ask if he wanted to meet up again this weekend and he agreed so I have no idea what to make of this situation I find myself in. I want to ask again what exactly is happening between us but I and so embarrassed since he ignored me last time. Should I just move on and stop pursuing him?

I’m looking for consistent older men to talk to and play with online but it’s hard to find the real ones. Everyone wants a quick nut and then block. Where’s the real online fwb

I'd love to some honest opinions on this from older guys if possible?

For context i recently got talking with an older guy and we exchanged nudes. After that he went quiet which i thought was weird and so i asked if everything was ok after a few days and he said that my penis wasn't his "type".

I know everyone will have different preferences but i guess if there is anything i can do to make my penis look even a little bit better on the eyes of an older guy i'm willing to try it. I guess this is like a poll to see what most older men prefer in a way.

Is this stupid? Maybe i just got unlucky with this guy and i'm overthinking it. For thos wondering i'm uncut and don't shave my bush often.

Hello. I’m a 22 year old male looking for an older guy for cuddling/movie-watching. I am not looking for anything beyond that at this moment. I find the embrace an older man to be very comforting.

I am based in San Jose CA. Does anyone have any tips of finding these kinds of men? Obviously, a lot of dating apps presuppose you’re looking for something more than what I am, so that has been frustrating.

Please let me know your thoughts.

I, as a young guy, would probably feel anxious dating a younger man. Not only would he outlive me, but all the stigma and everything. Is that something y'all are concerned with?

Im 26 and never dated. Been so busy with mental illness, work, some school I'm just so lonely.

But know I have so much more to polish about myself.

If I went back in time I'd have a partner by now. But 21st century has it's demands.

I know most of history people did not marry for love but for survival reasons.

An feels the same for me where is room for any of that... busy just shuffling through.

I’m a closeted 27-year-old femboy. Soft, feminine, still pretty new to living any of this out.

Therapy has finally made me stop fighting the fact that I’m strongly attracted to older guys and that I want a daddy dynamic (guidance, care, dominance, spoiling).

Grindr and the app sucks so far

How do I actually find one?