u/derklang

So I (M33) met a dude (M52) on Grindr. We started discussing hooking up but he was actually going on vacation the very next day for about a week. However he was interested in meeting up after he got back from his vacation. When he got back he messaged me asking if I’d like to meet up for a coffee. I was a little confused because I thought we were just gonna hook up, but I’m not opposed to getting to know someone before hooking up so I agreed to the coffee. Well we met up and he was a cool dude. We got along pretty well and I was really into him. During our meetup he specifically mentioned that he wasn’t looking to date at the moment and only wanted to hook up. I was perfectly fine with that. Nothing happened on this first meetup but we decided to keep in touch.

The next day I messaged him to tell him I was really into him and would like to meet up again. He agreed and suggested dinner. Well a few days later we met up for dinner and again it went well. During dinner he mentioned a new restaurant that he wanted to try and suggested we go there next time we met up. Again nothing happened during this meetup but we arranged to meet for dinner at the new place he wanted to try. At this point I felt a little confused because he kept wanting to hang out but we never discussed hooking up. I didn’t mind this because I actually really liked hanging out with him. Well our third meetup came and this is where I really felt confused. This time the dinner straight up felt like a date. Our conversations went a lot deeper and we sat at this restaurant for 3 hours just talking. The conversation flowed so naturally the time flew by. Well the dinner ended and we went our separate ways. Keep in mind we haven’t even so much as kissed at this point.

I was actually starting to develop feelings for him. So I message him the next day seeking clarification explaining that I was really enjoying hanging out with him and if he still wanted to only hook up or if he only wanted to hang out platonically or if there were any feelings on his end. Well he has his read receipts on so I know he read the message but a few days passed and he never responded. I figured I had scared him off by telling him I was into him so I just moved on. Eventually he texted me back about a week later but he just sent me a link to song and didn’t mention my other text at all. We started talking again and he asked if I wanted to meet up for dinner again that night. It made me really happy that he wanted to meet up again. Well we grabbed dinner and again it went great and this time he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. I obviously agreed. Well back at his place we got to talking and next thing I know 4 hours had passed. We didn’t do anything except talk the whole time and again it was great. We opened up a lot to each other and I felt like I was on cloud nine the whole time. I was hoping something would happen that night but he said he was pretty tired and wanted to go to bed so I headed home. And again not even a kiss was exchanged he just hugged me when I left.

At this point it’s been a few days since then and I feel like I’m going crazy. I am so into him and would really be interested in dating him, but I keep thinking back to him telling me he has no interest in dating at the moment. We’ve exchanged a few texts since then and he seems so disinterested now. He gives me one word responses and seems to have no interest in continuing the conversation. However I did ask if he wanted to meet up again this weekend and he agreed so I have no idea what to make of this situation I find myself in. I want to ask again what exactly is happening between us but I and so embarrassed since he ignored me last time. Should I just move on and stop pursuing him?