So about a year ago i(28m) met my now ex(32fm). Everything was fair to say perfect in the beginning, we matched energy, it was fun, we would chat about everything and were completely honest with eachother, or so i thought.
After the first month like a switch happened, we would start spending time less together, all intimacy was gone the texting started to get more and more dry.
She would blame most of it on work that its stressful and that she needs more her time.
Things got to a point where if we were supposed to meet up and i got to her place 5 minutes early she would absolutely EXPLODE that how dare i show up earlier that she needs her own time, it got to the point when i would visit her i would just hang outside and wait for the time to be correct.
Being together turned from having fun, playing around, cuddling, kissing to us sitting at the opposite sides of the sofa and her building a barricade with pillows so i couldn't see her face and her just being on her phone, it felt for months so cold and when i brought it up she tild me that i was too needy and clingy.
When i tried to talk with her to quite literally have a conversation and ask her how her day has been i would only get
"It was fine" or "it was Ok"
And when i asked a follow-up question she would roll her eyes.
One thing i remember to this day was her response to me asking her something.
She said and i quote word for word
"Do you have to force a conversation?"
(I would not even say this to my worst enemy if they would be mid monologue)
Another time i told her that i would love to cuddle with her, just feel her warmth, she roller her eyes agreed, then proceeded to put a pillow under her head so that her head wouldn't be on my arm and just kinda hover above it
There was even a time when i mentioned cuddling in a message, her response to that was that if i could stop saying that, it creates a lot of pressure for her.
One time mos argument when i told her that i feel so alone and lonely, her response was
"Good, you need to learn how to be alone. And i also get so stressed out when ever i write you a message because i know another message will appear"
(Ahh yes a conversation, scary)
During her birthday i decided to put in a good amount of effort and make her a nice Harry potter themed birthday (She was a huge fan) i hand crafted a bunch of them in the theme. Even write her a letter from the professors, gor floating candles with a wand and everything.
I got a screwdriver set, that wasnt even wrapped because she was busy ( Dont get me wrong, i was very thankful but just kinda felt sad)
My breaking point was when on Christmas morning she told me that she wants me to leave because she needs her own time. That evening i broke down completely at home, luckily i had my friends there to support me, we didn't talk with eachother until i reached out during New year.
Valentine's came and i wanted to just out in medium effort, got a blow up bath, bath bombs and manicure and pedicure set, a bunch of candies and all her favourite sweets. I got nothing, not even a kiss.
I dont know why i was with someone who told me that they will never write me a love letter, or when we had an argument she would roll her eyes and tell me that she has had the exact conversation with all of her exes and that noone understands her and why she needs to have this conversation again. But its over, quite literally because i just stopped reaching out and putting in effort and she tole me we should break up, i couldn't agree more
She did ask if we could still be friends, i was so tempted to tell het that not a single friend has treated me like literally shit. But i want with a simple no, but i wish you the best
I have in no way any commitments issues or do t want to solve through problems, and i am a strong believer that no one wants to intentionally do wrong with their partner but this has just made me never want to try again, i have felt alone for a year and dont want to go through this ever again