Feeling gross after a hookup
Hey guys, so I am 22(F) who just had my first hookup of my entire life, I grew up in a religious house and when I came abroad for education, I met someone on Bumble M(20), we talked over the phone and he had called me early in the morning to hangout, I mentioned especially that I was not going to be having sex and just wanted to know him better, or maybe even just make out, but after I arrived he was kind of aggressive, he kept talking about himself, “you found me attractive that’s why you wanted to hookup right?”, “you think I am the best right” and so on… he immediately removed his top and asked me to remove mine and grossly started kissing me, he didn’t even care if I kissed him back, then he asked for a blowjob and then kept slapping me, spanking which felt so uncomfortable, he also kept biting my nipples which hurt, then I told him I had to leave so we didn’t have sex. The problem was I think I am not made for casual hookups, before this I would genuinely fall in love, have very deep crushes, confess and get rejected, I had this guy I really liked and because of this bad hookup my feelings for him are getting amplified, he would listen, was calm, was mature, I just feel like I need love and companionship desperately.