u/CapitalBig4374

My boobs grow like five million sizes before and on my period. They hurt extremely bad. Basically the second I'm done ovulating my boobs swell and my nips harden. Not a haha sexy hard but like they won't go soft and it hurts. They poke through my most bulletproof padded bras. It's like that scene in sex and the city with those horrible fake nipples except they are very real and attached to my chest and they hurt! For the most part my period is okay. Sometimes it's super light or super heavy. My cramps are manageable for the most part but my boobs always hurt an extreme amount for basically 3 weeks of the month

I (20F) am not relating to my IOP group. My trauma is very grief related and I have intense medical trauma because I have various medical conditions. I haven't done therapy before. I tried but I only had 2 different therapists for maybe a combined six sessions total before they both moved from the practice and my insurance didn't go with them. So I gave up on therapy after that. But I've been really struggling. I finally reached out to a psychiatrist but she wouldn't provide treatment unless I did IOP. During my intake for IOP, they asked about traumas like being sexually assaulted. I was when I was a child, but I really don't think about it often or struggle with coping about that.

I feel like because of that trauma I got placed in all women's group who have all been sexually assaulted. Everyone is nice but I am the youngest person in the room. The majority of them have husbands and kids. The group talks a lot about boundaries and communication and healing the inner child. I really can't relate to the content as my mental problems are about my two best friends passing with six months of each other and trying to cope with grief. I am also autistic. I find it hard to sit for 8 hrs a day as my therapy is 6 hrs a day, back to back, and the office is an hour away. I don't feel comfortable talking to strangers, either in therapy or in day to day life, and I don't like being in big groups. Everyone is nice but the content isn't helpful for me. Also where I really struggle with at night when I'm completely alone. That's when I feel all my
pain and can't function but I mask in public.

I feel kinda forced to stick with the group. My insurance takes it and I've been told I won't get access to medication which I need to sleep cause I only sleep for 2-4 hrs a day. I know I quit seeking help when things get mentally hard so part of me just wants to suck it up but it's hard to relate to others in the group and to the content. It's just not helpful. Should I give it another week or try something different? I just don't wanna lose access to medication because living without it at this point is impossible for me