1 month on Retatrutide (4mg every 5 days) and I’m down 20lbs… but my balls turned into a goddamn dairy farm 🐄💦
I started this stuff exactly one month ago at 4mg every 5 days because my “eat less, move more” strategy had the success rate of a dad joke at a funeral. Expected: lose some weight, maybe fit into my old jeans.
Actual results: 20 fucking pounds gone already. Scale is being nice to me for the first time in years. Energy is weirdly stable, no crazy hunger, and I’m not even rage-quitting food groups. The usual GLP magic is hitting hard.
But here’s the plot twist nobody warns you about in the clinical trials:
My balls have unionized and gone full milk-cow mode.
I’m talking industrial quantities. Daily masturbation (quality control testing, obviously) now produces enough semen to feed a small village. It’s like my prostate got the memo that we’re in a weight-loss competition and decided to overachieve in the fluid department. I’m out here like “whoa buddy, slow down, I only have two hands and one sock.”
Is this a known side effect? Are my testes on Retatrutide too? Should I be concerned or start a side hustle selling “premium farm-fresh” on Etsy?
Either way, 10/10 would recommend. Losing weight and gaining superpowers in the bedroom (or shower… or car… look I’m busy okay).
Anyone else experiencing the Great Semen Surge of 2026 or am I just the chosen one?
TL;DR: Retatrutide = -20lbs and +500% output. Science is wild.
(Yes this is serious, yes I’m laughing while typing this)