Trying to rebuild my life after leaving JW mindset — but family and friends are complicated
Hi, my name is Lara. Three months ago, my husband woke me up, and I felt like my life was falling apart. But now I feel free. We moved to Norway in October, and this move made it much easier to rebuild our life.
I’m making new friends now, and it feels really good to be able to choose them freely. I just got one of my dream jobs. We rented the best house we’ve ever had, and we’re building the life we’ve always wanted in our dream country.
Everything could be perfect. But we’re still JW on paper, and I don’t know how to handle that with our family and friends. My husband already published in the group because of his mother.
My family situation is a bit different. My parents are divorcing, and my mother is currently disfellowshipped, but after getting married again, she wants to come back. I’ve already spoken to her, and she knows almost everything. She has been kind to me, but she keeps trying, little by little, to preach to me. It really annoys me. The day I spoke to her, I was very direct and told her I will not get disfellowshipped just because of her.
And I know her—I know that once she’s back as a sister, she will try even more to convince me. I told her about 607, the abuse cases, the situation in Norway, the Spanish association, the lies… everything. But for her, it’s still “the truth.” I’m not trying to convince her—I just want peace.
We’re going to France on Sunday to take care of my niece, and she asked if we would go to the meeting with her. When I asked my brother, he said we can do whatever we want and that he will always love me and talk to me, whether I’m JW or not. He is basically PIMQ, and I really hope he and my sister-in-law will leave one day.
My little brother doesn’t really seem to believe. And my father… we haven’t spoken for two months. I think he is trying to find someone to blame for what happened. My parents were always fighting, so I encouraged them to separate. But since my mother left him, he has become worse than ever—completely PIMI and very difficult to deal with. I’m really afraid of him finding out.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to be disfellowshipped, because everything feels so awkward with my family right now. And I still have to tell my friends, but I don’t know how. I haven’t replied to many messages because I feel bad—I know I will disappoint them.
The friends who already know have been acting a bit strange. My best friend said we would stay friends, but she has been acting differently since then. The friends who already know have been acting a bit strange. My best friend said we would stay friends, but she has been acting differently since then. Another one was sad and said we already had a complicated year. People inside the organization always need to find a reason outside of it.
I’m tired of feeling bad because of them. I’m tired of pretending. That’s why I don’t send voice messages to my best friend anymore, and I find it hard to call my grandparents. I don’t want to hide anymore.
On Sunday, we celebrated May 17th in Norway. We went to the parade—I was wearing a festdrakt, and a flag, and I was so happy. We have a tour guide WhatsApp group, and I wanted to share the photos like everyone else did, but I didn’t. One of the guides is JW—she’s very nice—and when she told me a few months ago, I said I was too. It was too early for me, and now it feels a bit uncomfortable.
I’m not exactly sure what my question is 😅 I just want advice and to hear about other people’s experiences.