r/exjw

After today’s Watchtower, I’m once again reminded of how fucked up JW relationships are. You’re supposed to view your partner as your “best friend”, yet women are supposed to submit to men and both’s relationship with each other comes secondary to “Jehovah” (really the Governing Body).

They have a very “one size fits all” mentality, but that’s not how relationships work. I’m a straight man, and I’m not a natural leader or “head”. My dream woman is someone who is strong and dominant. I’m the opposite of what a JW Man is supposed to be, and my ideal relationship dynamic is pretty much the opposite of what JW relationships are. I realized that even before I woke up, and it always made me feel like there was something wrong with me, like I was an anomaly. It’s only after I woke up I realized that JW relationships were the ones that were actually wrong and that simplifying relationship dynamics into just one thing is really stupid.

As they have come late to the party and brought a knife to a gun fight, we should finish them before they even get started. I love the following tiktok exjw content and would luv to keep pumping these creators to keep winning and dominate the algorithm war on social media, give them a like and follow: seeds.of.awakening, worldy_widower, exjwisaiah, alissasawake, B4icareless, leilajeeks, matthewpittscreat, ba_louise , loveandlight47, joerao, theworldlywoman, apostatebarbie, itsgivingcult, and disfellowdipped just to name a few. Post your suggested favorites too. Fight the "truth" with the real truth and have a laugh along the way to deconstructing and reconstructing. I would say blocking jw press room on everything should help too and dont engage with them because that just pumps their algo even more. Some of this stuff is just common sense and the content is hilarious but also sends the message to people that it really needs.

The terms “lying opposers”, “negative reports”, and “false accusations” are all terms used when talking about opposition and persecution.

What I find extremely interesting is that none of these terms are directed at the Bible or the JW theology. They are directed at what whistleblowers, government investigators, survivors, and litigators are uncovering about the harmful policies and practices of the organization.

The 2026 convention on Saturday afternoon has, during the last two parts of the mega symposium, these terms sprinkled in the talks and video dramatizations.

I’ve heard several instances of these same terms being used by people in the congregation. It isn’t a mistake, it is subtle programming.

it was a typical quick argument with my parents on the whole JW beliefs thing. we were on the topic of the beginning of creation and satan.

i begged the argument, "if jehovah created everything from the start, which also included the angels, then satan was created by jehovah" bare basic reading and thinking skills if u just OPEN the book.

my parents responded back just rejecting my argument only saying that "jehovah created the angels but did not create satan." really they didnt do anything to counter my argument.

but satan was once an angel and jehovah created them right? nope, jehovah only gets credit for the "good" angels he created and not the one that had "fallen"

they did nothing to argue back as we needed to get ready for the meeting (ironic). all they told me was to do more research when rlly they need to open their eyes more 😂

I have two neighbors on each side completely opposite of each other. One one side is a hard core PIMI Elder, 89 years old retired accountant according to him.

On the other side I have a 65 year old agnostic retired business owner. We’ve talked several times and he has made it clear that out of all religions, he believes that if there is one religion that has the truth, it is the Jehovah’s witnesses.

The reason being according to him is because they show you from the bible that there is no fiery Hell, that Death is just the common grave, that God is going to make the earth a paradise and remove evil people from the earth forever.

He is especially impress with their dress and grooming. He explained to me that the bible teaches that if we want to be true followers of Jesus, we must not be part of the world. And the Way the Jehovah’s Witnesses remain separate from the world is by the way they dress, their grooming, and the way they comport themselves. The men are always clean cut, shaven, shirt and tie even when it’s hot. And all the women, you can tell they spend hours primping in front of the mirror just to look pretty and sophisticated when they come to your door to talk about God.

It’s been a few years since he has talked to them, since his work keeps him really busy.

Yesterday I was walking around the neighborhood and he was working on his lawn. So I stopped and we chatted for a while. Then a bunch of cars stopped across the street. I told my neighbor, “Hey, I think it’s the Jehovah’s Witnesses”

We kept waiting for them to get out of their car, and when they did, you have these two older men with scruffy beards, shirt with no tie, some type of black sports tennis shoes, with no book bags. And the wives, I assume, are in pants, some of them wearing what looked like sports tennis shoes. The other two cars the same thing.

My neighbor says, “No brother you’re wrong, these people don’t dress like Jehovah’s witnesses, they look like some type of recruitment cult.

I was cracking up inside cause I knew.

We stayed there until they came to us and the first thing my neighbor asked; “Who do you represent?” They said “We are Jehovah’s Witnesses!”

And then my neighbor got real upset. He started questioning them; “What the Hell Happened to YOU? You all used to be NO PART OF THE WORLD. Now you’ve become part of the world so the world can love you as it own. And he continue with disparaging remarks for about 10-15 minutes until they excused themselves and walked away.

At least, when they dressed up to go knock on doors, they looked more trusting, more serious about God. But now, in these days, when trust is on the bottom of the barrel, who wants to talk to a couple of Strange scruffy beard men, no tie, scruffy hair, with no bible in their hand. How many people with a Ring Doorbell will even answer the door??

Did the Governing Body even consider this. Or…..do they just not care anymore because they are PLANNING TO DELETE DOOR to DOOR IN THE FUTURE?????

For me, the moment they announce I am disfellowshipped. I will jump up in the air and leave the Kingdom Hall for the last time. The moment I get to my car I will play It’s My Life by Billy Joel.

This part especially resonated with me:

I don't need you to worry for me 'cause I'm alright
I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home
I don't care what you say anymore this is my life
Go ahead with your own life leave me alone

After a tragic event in our Hall. I started questioning our beliefs. "Maybe Watchtower just had it wrong. Maybe Jehovah and Jesus had a different purpose for mankind."

Then someone asked me this question on this sub Reddit.

The Bible it's History, Archeology. Ancient stories predating the Bible. When the books of the Bible where actually written.

How little as a JW I actually knew of the Scriptures and their meaning. When finally I read the Bible cover to cover with no preconceived ideas. That is not a loving God, he is a horrible, blood thirsty , jealous being.

Watchtower has to know this information. It's like they have never studied the Bible. Or purposely choses to ignore these facts.

I think the later. Thus the dumbing down of the information coming from them.

Just a corporation struggling for survival. Giving out false hope.

if armageddon is just around the corner, why waste your precious seconds why letter writing or sitting in a building for a boring 2 hours when you can enjoy a tv show or movie with your family, go out with friends more, travel or go on vacation, pick up on a new hobby, instead of just rinse and repeating the same thing JWs have been doing for decades except a lot slower with their policies constantly changing and requiring less from everybody? i thought armageddon was supposed to be here now but apparently they "don't know" anymore? how can JWs just stand by and do nothing, not even participate in political/social justice arguments or activities if you want to help others?
it's obvious they just want to convert them instead of actually helping them by giving advice that isn't from the bible, which many now, especially of younger generations, don't really care about or want to waste their time to spend months studying with other people who sh¡t-talk more about gay people than the pedophiles and abusers within their congregation(s), i'd call it crazy since little to no JWs with a lick of awareness really want to talk about it, but what is there to talk about other than the same doctrine over again? i feel if they cared more about others, they'd go back to their older ways, like preaching more, but since armageddon is right around the corner, then they don't really need to? if jehovah really spoke through the elders from the bible, wouldn't god want them to do more for their community (not just their own members, so including athiests and whatnot) since he's an "all loving creator," or is it just people not wanting to commit all their time to the same cause that seems to be delaying faster than ever?
many JWs would also benefit from not constantly talking about the death and destruction of billions who happen to not believe, which is dare i say pretty silly to believe in anyway, like it can improve your mental health by not telling others they're going to be killed by the "true god," whom you could just repent to either way?
imagine that conversation in paradise where you knew someone during the great tribulation who just repented last minute without wasting their limited days on earth to actually have fun rather than concern yourselves with people who don't answer at the doors

this was my first convention being pimo.. pretty sure it needs to be the last because my soul feels empty and drained.. as is my WALLET good god 😭
but then on the other hand my mom straight up asked me if I still believe and I lied because i'm too scared, I feel like i'm waiting for some golden opportunity or catalyst but don't know what it is
and my relationship with my mom and family is great since they think im in.. it just makes me feel sick

tldr: this needs to end but I can't stop delaying

legit sitting at meeting right now and listening to the way the WT always talks abt courtship is so weirddddddddd. i hate the policys and guidance around dating. maybe cuz im at the age where my peers in the congregation are all dating so everyone is waiting for me to make my move so they all can gossip so this wt is just bugging me. but in general the dating “courtship” sh!t is sooooo invasive gross outdated and weird asf. i’ll never understand why the congregation always has to be involved to some capacity in a couples life so invasive! like that whole example abt asking the elders and the entire congregation abt the reputation of the person that girl was courting……just weird. anyways just i’m just
b!tching and groaning cuz im stuck at meeting.

I was a born-in, with a psychopath father who was even a pariah among the cult. He took advantage of the fact that JWs "don't interfere" with family business (read: brutal child abuse). We were forbidden from leaving the yard and even associating with other JWs. A young ministerial servant literally lived across the street from me and I wasn't allowed to talk to him. We weren't allowed to go to school; likely because our constant bruises and injuries would have had my parents in prison. My "worldly" grandparents occasionally called the authorities on our behalf, but living in the rural South did nothing. The police just assumed we were whining to Grandma about being appropriately punished. The truth was, my loser dad took out his frustrations on us for his complete failures at even mediocrity, all day, every day. We didn't have to do anything "wrong", even by strict JW standards. Which brings me to another point...
We weren't actually JWs, as my parents were both inactive. My dad, being a sociopath, believed he should be in charge, but he was a "Yankee" and didn't fit in with the redneck sociopaths who were all buddy-buddy with each other, and they didn't want to share their authority and power with him. They were all a bunch of crooked construction workers and other blue-collar laborers, while my dad fancied himself a "business man" and openly felt superior to them, despite being completely broke and failing (mostly due to crippling laziness) at everything he ever half-ass tried. Since he wasn't allowed to take over, my dad pouted at home. We rarely attended meetings and I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times we "went in service".
My dad was 6'2" and ex high-school wrestler, but I was a big kid and started working out as much as I could behind his back as a teenager. I was forbidden from working out or training any kind of martial art, no doubt because my dad was terrified I'd be able to ever defend myself. But train, I did. Always at home, since I was never allowed to leave. Eventually, I could defend myself and years of abuse gradually turned to brawls, over time I won more and more of, until he was afraid of me. My youngest brother followed in my footsteps and my parents lived in fear of him killing them until he moved out at 16.
Anyway, I moved out at 18, with nothing. I did have a full-time job, but my parents had stolen all of my money until I was 18 and they had no legal way to take it. I got in to some weird situations, buying a car from a crazy guy for monthly payments and got a job delivering pizza. Being raised with no moral compass, a guy I met after moving out and I got arrested. I was disfellowshipped over the situation at 19 and I didn't set foot in a Kingdom Hall again until I was 30. I was convinced I knew what the JWs believe, since I was "born in to it". But I really wasn't. I was raised in some hybrid of what JWs believe and whatever my dad decided. I had a very shallow understanding of how much the JWs are in your business and how many nit-picky, arbitrary rules they had. So, I got reinstated at 31 or 32.
I'd read the Bible thoroughly and studied the original Greek and Hebrew of contentious verses, for a fuller understanding. I decided the JWs were right(ish) on Hell, Trinity, Heaven, preaching, etc. I looked into other denominations and found nothing they believe is unique, but the odds of finding anything better close-by was slim. After I was reinstated, I started putting as much time in knocking on doors as I could. I had a successful business that allowed me a lot of free time, so I was well over 100 hours per month and ordering "What Does the Bible Really Teach" books by the case. I had 9 concurrent Bible studies after about a year.
My wife wasn't a JW, so I tried to limit my JW activities to when she was at college or work. I didn't attend many meetings and never went to conventions. Of course, I caught a lot of flak about it from the losers in cheap suits (elders). They'd passively-aggressively say snide comments like "We missed you at the meeting on Thursday." Being raised by a bully, I was having none of it. I'd reply with openly-hostile replies like "I missed you in service every day this week." They'd becry my lack of presence at the conventions, so I'd ask them "What did you learn there?" They'd tick off some talking points and I'd ask "You didn't already know that?" Of course, they insisted they did know that, so I'd ask "So, what did you LEARN?" Of course, it was nothing. I'd ridicule them for spending forever in class, but never graduating to doing the job they were supposedly training to do.
Since I was living in the Northeast, it was very cold and windy in the winter, and I was out knocking on doors all day. My face was taking a beating from the cold air, so I decided to grow a beard. I was completely unaware there was a rule against it. I was caught completely unaware when I was "invited" into the back room after wearing it for a few months. They dragged out some 1969 article forbidding beards. I laughed at them for using such ridiculous, ill-conceived drivel to push obvious dogma. I told them to come back when they had something from the Bible that paints men wearing beards in a negative light. I pointed out they rely on a verse in Leviticus to ban tattoos even though we're not under OT laws, because "Jehovah indicated his opinion on them, and he is unchanging". Well, the Bible is pretty clearly pro-beards on men. Later I looked into this weird rule and found an article from 1954 where they were defending their depictions of Jesus without a beard, and actually tried to make the case that Jesus absolutely wouldn't have had one. That was my introduction to just how nutty some of the old coots in charge are, and how arrogant they are to push their personal agenda as "Bible-based". My relationship with the JWs quickly spiraled from there, eventually leading to the upper management in Patterson doing something totally unprecedented: They banned me from meeting for service. That's not even an option, by their own rules. But they couldn't get me on anything, because I hadn't done anything wrong. I always destroyed them in any judicial meeting and I think they knew I was likely recording them (I was) and they couldn't just make things up.

TL;DR:
That's my story. All of that was to set the framing for this: I still have a successful business, but I don't have the free time I used to. I know the JWs completely cut you off from everyone outside the cult so you're totally isolated. They use that fear of being completely alone to keep you in line. My upbringing on the fringes of even the cult prepared me to be alone, because I didn't even have the cult to fall back on. I'd spent my whole life alone, so I was used to it. If you're feeling alone and uprooted from everything you've ever known, I'm here. I have an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, and even tangible real-world help. If you need a job. If you need a place to crash. I'm here, and I know what you're going through. Losing those people is no great loss; trust me. They were never your friends. They all just abuse each other, take advantage of each other, tattle on each other, and gossip about each other. You think you've lost everything, but you've only lost your chains; you're just used to the chains and you feel naked without them.

I couldn't get around the fact that if you want to be a Christian then you have to be a jw... like i think cart witnesses in is the dumbest thing ever and i couldn't imagine that being part of being in "the one true religion."

there was a lot of stuff like that, i didn't feel like i needed to dress in a suit and tie to be a Christian or have to be baptized into an organization to be a Christian. Everything just stood out to me as a cult speak and manipulation.

in the end i was pulling her away from her faith and community because i made too much sense.

Is it just me?

Or is this whole thing just becoming unbelievably cringe?

THIS is what the Future Kings have resorted to?

Who's writing this jibberish ???

It's to the point of absurdity now.

They're supposed to direct people to the official website BUT this is the shyte that's on the official website.

I bet real churches- as in those who have actual scholars- are finding this hilarious IF they even stunble across it.

Who's gonna take this seriously????

Especially now that TikTok is also one of their official learning platforms 😂

Pics in comments

https://www.jw.borg/en/

Hey everyone.

I’ve been in the "truth" all my life so this is not something I take lightly or say in an emotional moment. It is something I have been sitting with for a long time now and honestly it is getting harder to ignore how uncomfortable I feel.

I am a single mother. I was married to a brother who cheated and he ended up disfellowshipped. After everything that happened I stayed and tried to do things the right way. I tried to hold myself together spiritually, emotionally, and for my child.But what I am struggling with now is that I do not feel like I fit in anymore.

Instead of feeling supported I often feel judged. It is like the innocent person in the situation is still looked at sideways like somehow you did not handle things the correct way. There is this underlying message spoken or unspoken that you should just forgive endure and keep everything intact no matter what. And if you do not you end up feeling like you are the problem.

What makes it even more confusing is when people say your strength is an example. They say most people who went through what you went through would have left the organization. I really do not know how to feel about that because sometimes it does not feel like encouragement. It feels like pressure to keep enduring silently.

What has been even more difficult is seeing how things feel inside the congregation now that I am in this position. I am noticing things I never paid attention to before. The gossip. The quiet comparisons. The way people separate into have and have not groups socially. The way appearances matter more than honesty sometimes. And the fake smiles. People being polite but not really present.

Get togethers are so uncomfortable. It feels like you are not single but also not married when you divorce. You are kind of stuck in the middle and it feels like you are being judged for that.

I also feel like some of the men do the most and then hide behind the scriptures. That has been something hard to unsee once I noticed it.

When I try to express how I feel I am told it is all in my mind or that I am being negative or that I do not trust in Jehovah or that I am listening to voices of strangers. It makes it really hard to open up because it feels like you cannot share your true feelings without being labeled as rebellious or as someone who does not love Jehovah.

It is confusing because I grew up believing this was supposed to be a loving safe spiritual family. But lately I have been feeling more isolated inside the congregation than I do outside of it.

At meetings I do not feel comfortable anymore. I sit there but I do not feel like I belong there the way I used to. It is like something shifted or maybe I just cannot unsee what I am seeing now.

I also carry a lot as a mother on top of all of this. So I am trying to stay strong keep things stable for my child and still show up spiritually but inside I feel disconnected and worn down.

I do not have a dramatic conclusion or a clear answer. I am not trying to attack anyone. I am just honestly saying that I do not feel like I belong in a place I have been my whole life and that is a hard thing to admit to myself.

Has anyone else gone through this shift where what once felt like home slowly starts to feel unfamiliar and uncomfortable? How did you deal with it without losing yourself completely?

So most of this information I've gotten through my mother...

Whoever is putting together the conventions in Portugal, are people going out of their mind?

Long story short, they're going to be, country wide, on the same day. Previously you'd have several throughout the country, scattered enough so that people could attend by taking a bus ride of a couple of hours daily. I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but say one or two around Lisbon, one in the north, another in upper-Alentejo and one in the Algarve. It's not a big country but at least it was cut out in a way that attendance wasn't insane in some places.

Now, some genius, thought of putting it all in the same date, cut down to 3 venues (see in an area where you'd have a tops 3000 people venue, it's not going to +5000) and a large chunk of the program isn't even happening live, it's going to be transmitted from Porto (I believe).

Not only that, but apparently there's not going to be any 'elderly' seating areas and the brothers there are the ones who will choose your seat for you on arrival.

This is hell for someone who had to attend only to take care of their PIMI elder parents with significant health issues because you just know it's going to be a hassle to get them seated in an area that is close enough to an exit because they constantly need to go to the bathroom for health reasons and because half of the time. I know how much of a hell it was before because, despite my mom's health and age, she looks quite well. I can't tell you how many times she actually had verbal fights with the seating brothers because of this shit.

The space these conventions are happening doesn't have enough facilities to accommodate all these people. And if you're gonna transmit the program from somewhere else to begin with, why cut the number of locations?

Honestly, I'm super glad I'm not attending this year because of my family's health. The travel time was always horrific in the summer, we'd have to get up super early, arrive around 14 hours later back home and rinse and repeat for 3 days.

P.s.: because of coinciding events in Porto (events that gather thousands of people, hinder traffic and happen every single year btw), everyone else has to wait an extra hour for the program to start countrywide. But arrival time and door opening time slots haven't changed. Just sit there for an extra hour waiting for the big screen transmission to start.

Attended the meeting today and had the displeasure of listening to an anti science talk. Literally it was just... weird and I couldn't really follow the brother's train of thought.

Science completely, fully bad because... of the experiments done on people. Science ALSO bad because it hasn't fully solved people's problems and we shouldn't have faith in it because it takes credit away from Jehovah(?) Science is also bad because people still die.

Naturally, college, career, and working too hard at work(?) also bad and so are gay rights (had to throw that one in there.)

Of course, Kingdom good, JW good, pioneering good. and we should pioneer instead of working too hard at work. You know. The usual suspects.

Everyone was just nodding their head and I'm sitting out there like ???? what?

My kids are 4th-generation JWs (and I mean ‘generation’ in the normal way, not overlapping 😜). We’re POMO now, but while raising them in the religion, I sometimes wondered who they would court/marry one day.

In our circuit, just about everyone their age was called their ‘cousin.’ Not first cousins of course, but how do you explain to a kindergartener: “So-and-so is your step-first-cousin-once-removed…” and “oh, that kid is your ex-second-cousin-in-law.” So all the complicated relations were reduced to ‘cousin.’

With recruitment being low in my country, most growth is from born-ins. And as multiple generations are added, marriage connections become more complex. And the pool of potential mates for these 18-year-olds who are so eager to pair up seems to becomes a trip-wire maze!

It got really messy when my husband’s aunt got divorced and remarried to her ex-sister-in-law’s brother. Her former niece-in-law became her step-daughter. Her kid’s former cousin was now their sister. Etc. Trying to explain these things to my kids was a great brain exercise!

Now of course I know these relations wouldn’t make marriage impossible, but in the culture where I live, young people aren’t looking for a mate at the family reunion.

Just a funny little quirk resulting from the GBs direction to ‘marry only in the lord,’ their inability to recruit new members, and retention policies based on the cruel physiological torture of shunning. These kids have no one to marry!

What are your complicated family tree stories?

I'm non-JW with JW family. Also a longtime Ebay seller of over 25 years. So many many moons ago (like 30 years ago), JW family members asked me to always keep an eye open for old vintage JW books at thrift stores to complete their library.

Fast forward to today. My partner and I sell old JW books on Ebay and people buy them! Hot items are pre-1950s materials and the yellow kids' Bible stories books. We also sell "rainbow" book lots of the small themed/study books. There's even a market for the Revelation book, Greatest Man, and You Can Live Forever in Paradise book. Older hymn books.

What's the deal? Why are people buying them? My JW family now has no interest in them, saying "Everything you need is now on jw.borg, including the Bible," as they wave their tablets around. Family says those purchases are "nostalgia" but I wonder.

About 1/3rd of our JW books sold go overseas. The sell-through rate is steady and usually within one month of listing (exception kids Bible stories book, those usually sell within 24 hours.)

For the record, it used to be a cornucopia of JW books at thrift stores, but not anymore. Harder and harder to find.

Is it nostalgia? Or people who want to learn, document, and confirm what the borg really was teaching before changes? Or what?