r/exjw

Are you leaving the JW organization, but you still want to follow Jesus Christ?

If so, I want you to know something that you may need to hear right now:

You are not an apostate simply because you are questioning or leaving an organization.

Leaving an organization and leaving Jesus are not the same thing.

Maybe you have spent years believing that if you walked away from the organization, you were walking away from God. Maybe you were taught that questioning the organization meant questioning Jehovah himself. Maybe the word apostate has been used in a way that made you afraid to even explore what you truly believe.

But please take a breath.

God is not afraid of your questions. Jesus is not afraid of your questions.

Your relationship with your Creator does not depend upon your membership in an organization.

Jesus said:

>“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28

Notice that Jesus said come to me.

Not come to an organization.
Not come to a system.
Not come because you have everything figured out.

Come to Me.

If you are leaving the JW organization because you can no longer reconcile what you are being taught with what you see in Scripture, that doesn't mean you have stopped loving God. In fact, your desire to keep following Jesus may be one of the most sincere things in your heart right now.

And please remember this:

You are loved.

You are loved by the One who created you, who knows you completely, and who cares about you deeply.

Jesus said that even the hairs of your head are numbered. Think about that for a moment. The God who knows something as small and seemingly insignificant as the number of hairs on your head is not going to abandon you because you are asking questions.

You don't have to have all the answers today.

You don't have to immediately know what denomination you belong to.

You don't have to replace one organization with another.

You can simply begin with Jesus.

Open the Gospels. Read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Read Jesus' words for yourself. Watch how He treated people. Notice His compassion, His patience, His mercy, and His truth. Pray. Talk to God honestly.

You can say:

“Jesus, I don't know what is true anymore. I've been afraid. I've been confused. But I still want You. Please lead me.”

I believe that is a beautiful prayer.

If you are somewhere between the life you knew and the faith you are trying to rediscover, you are not alone.

And if you are terrified that leaving the organization means God will leave you, please hear this:

God is not confined to an organization.

You can walk away from an institution and still walk toward Christ.

You can question teachings and still love God.

You can discover that something you believed for years was not true and still have faith.

You can begin again.

And perhaps most importantly:

You do not have to be afraid of Jesus.

He is not standing at the end of your questions waiting to condemn you.

He is inviting you to come closer.

❤️ If you are leaving the JWs but still want Jesus, I hope you know that there is a path forward. You are loved. You are not forgotten. And your journey with Christ does not have to end because your journey with an organization has ended.

As my history shows, I was once an elder, unjustly removed, and that opened my eyes, from giving speeches at assemblies to being removed overnight for going against the CO. Anyway, I’m in my 30s now. I spent my 20s as an MS (Ministerial Servant) and Elder. Now that I’m “nothing” anymore, I’m unfortunately still a PIMO due to family reasons.

Now, the elders who removed me (the ones who arrived, ousted the entire old BOE, and now run the congregation) want to talk to me. They insist on visiting me, helping me, wanting me to start working for them again. There are no MSs in the congregation; the sound team keeps messing with meetings because the current members lack experience. The elders themselves handle all the speeches, do the readings, pass the microphones, and so on.

There’s an urgent need for men everywhere, and specifically for men who actually know something. With this culture of “you don’t need to know anything, you’ll learn it all here,” they lead the young men to believe they’ll learn useful skills, but in the end, they know nothing. I know a 25 boy (because have boy mentality) doing everything for Elders without any title, he left school 8 years ago and do nothing with his life, living with parents, but is an example for the rest.

As for me, I thank those elders for removing me; otherwise, I never would have opened my eyes. But now, leave me alone. My wife wants to go out preaching, but every time they see me, they want to talk or invite me out to the ministry. Ugh, I just want to sit in the back and be invisible. It's so hard.

It hurts the organization to lose capable men, who have skills and initiative, but in this case, it’s their fault. I used to do everything: in the congregation and at the assemblies. Never again. Find someone else. Or think twice before defending evil old COs and losing the young ones.

Sorry, i'm just venting, thanks for reading.

It's been about 5 months since the removal of the prohibition on autologous transfusions. And yet the prohibition is still on the signed DPA forms of many Witnesses.

Just curious whether they still encourage the publishers to fill out the form. Especially for pregnant mothers, do they still have the arrangement to meet them and encourage them to fill out the card as soon as possible?

And are publishers interested at all about the prohibition still sitting on their cards? What's the situation in your congregations, PIMOs?

Someday if I get the money, I would love to buy some land somewhere out in nature and open a safe house for those leaving high control groups/cults. Since so many of us left with nothing and no support, it would be a halfway house for people to escape, recover, and find resources for their new life.

It would help people find jobs or go to college, offer therapy, community with others in the same position. I also would offer optional financial classes, cooking classes, art therapy, archery, horsebackriding, nature therapy, psilocybin therapy (literally saves lives!), help people find their hobbies and passions, DnD and game nights, movie nights watching stuff we were never allowed to (like themed Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings nights), etc.

Obviously it would just be a place to land for a bit and not a permanent housing situation, but I think it would help a lot. I hope someday to get the finances for it. I would call it "House of Hope" (bonus points if you play Baldur's Gate 3 and understand the reference haha).

Id say my congregation is doing as well as can be on retention rate. Ive never heard of someone disassociating or being shunned. Id like to just mention im PIMO and never been involved in the more involved parts.

This weeks midweek about needs was a “arrangement” (or whatever word they used) related to donations. This was also done the last year but theyre trying it again. To sum the congregation held a vote to send a set amount of their funds from the part of the congregation funds. Recent renovations to the hall were mentioned and there was a constant reminder that one box is for the global effort while the other is for the halls expenses. They also stated that publishers are expected to donate about $11 monthly to maintain the hall.

The problem is the week before they read out the total donations vs expenses and there was a deficit of $200 if I remember correctly.

I feel this action most likely is trying to buy time to keep the hall afloat. The intention seemed to be that everyone donate to one box and part of those funds are sent to Headquarters to keep them happy but to have enough to keep the hall afloat. The mention that the global effort box is only for additional donations confirmed this for me.

Impressive how subtle the begging is and how its just enough to go over the heads of most people in the cong that arent looking for it.

Did anyone else pick up on the meeting last night about false prophets in jeramiah.

The elder giving the treasures last at the meeting fully glanced over what he was saying without even thinking about it.
He said and I quote “ if a prophet says something it doesn’t come true than that person is a liar”

I looked at my wife and said um “1975” and blood transfusion!

She looked at me and said well there just clarification.

Then he proceeded to say that YouTube is now making fake meeting videos and that we shouldn’t watch YouTube. Hahahaha I don’t think he was actually present with what he was saying.

The whole meeting was pointing towards false news again, ohhh I wonder if YouTube videos are helping ones wake up a lot more I know it helped me.

Yay we have the co this week can’t wait to hear more of how much young ones can contribute and are you really do enough for this org or god my mistake.

If you're young and still a Jehovah's Witness, ask yourself this before putting money in the contribution box:

Who benefits most from your money—your future, your family, or the Organization?

You worked for that money.

That $50 could go toward:

• Your emergency fund
• Your education
• Your first car
• Investing for your future
• Helping someone you personally know who needs it

But you've been taught that giving it to the Organization shows your love for Jehovah.

Pause and think:

If God knows your heart, does He really need your money to prove your loyalty?

And if you wouldn't give money to another religion simply because they told you God wanted it, why should this Organization get a different standard?

Don't give because you're afraid you'll disappoint Jehovah.

Think. Question. Verify. Then decide where your hard-earned money can actually do the most good.

Your future self might thank you.

Sometimes the PIMI arguing the hardest isn’t trying to convince you. They’re trying to convince themselves.

When I was PIMI, I was incredibly stubborn. I also knew Watchtower history unusually well (I even collected old publications, from the earliest ones to modern material), so whenever someone raised an objection, I usually knew exactly what to answer.

I could reframe inconsistencies, find the convenient explanation, and make the whole thing sound rhetorically convincing. Sometimes convincing enough to make the other person doubt their own objection.

Looking back, though, I realize something quite ironic: I actually saw many of those inconsistencies myself.

Those debates weren’t always about convincing the other person. Very often, I was reassuring myself.

So if a PIMI desperately throws argument after argument at you, don’t necessarily get frustrated. Defending the organization tooth and nail doesn’t mean they’ll always be in it.

Sometimes they’re not really trying to convince you.

They’re trying to convince themselves.

And who knows? I went from knowing exactly how to defend almost every Watchtower contradiction to becoming a full-blown PIMO apostate who now uses that exact same knowledge to dismantle the arguments I used to make. Give them a few years and they might end up like me: a full-blown PIMO apostate writing posts on r/exjw haha.

Character development, I guess.

so currently my family is moving to English from the Spanish hall because of things with the elders. my issue is that my parents already disagree with so much of what the Borg says, but they still wont leave. Ive told my dad privately that i dont what to get baptized as a jw. how do i cope? i have one year left until im 18 and can finally convert to Christianity. (dont flame me for not going atheist pls). Thanks!

​

I've been thinking about something that I find incredibly ironic.

For decades, Jehovah's Witnesses have taught that the wild beast represents the world's political powers and that the prostitute riding the beast represents the world empire of false religion.

Okay. Let's use that interpretation for a minute.

Norway took action against Jehovah's Witnesses over their practices surrounding disfellowshipping/removal and shunning, including concerns involving minors and people who leave the religion. This affected their registration and government funding.

The organization fought the government through the courts.

Meanwhile, we suddenly got "new light" regarding disfellowshipped people. They're now "removed from the congregation." Witnesses may greet certain removed people at meetings. Elders may meet with someone more than once before removing them. There were also changes involving minors.

Except...

Go read the August 1, 1974 Watchtower, "Maintaining a Balanced Viewpoint Toward Disfellowshiped Ones."

Some of this "new light" looks remarkably familiar.

And now that Jehovah's Witnesses ultimately won their case in Norway, JW social media/news is celebrating the court victory, the restoration of government funding, reimbursement of withheld grants, and the money awarded for legal costs.

Which made me think:

According to their own interpretation, isn't this exactly the kind of relationship with the "wild beast" that they have spent decades criticizing other religions for having?

The political system gives your religion money.

The political system takes the money away.

Your organization goes to court and fights the political system to get the money back.

Then the political system rules in your favor and gives the money back.

And your organization publicly celebrates the victory.

So...

If receiving government support and seeking favorable treatment from political authorities is evidence that "false religion" is riding the wild beast...

What exactly are Jehovah's Witnesses doing here?

Maybe the most interesting question isn't "Who is the prostitute riding the wild beast?"

Maybe it's:

Why does the definition suddenly stop applying when Watchtower is the one collecting the money?

I left the religion 18 years ago. I have been diagnosed with cPTSD because of it. I have struggled with depression since I was 16 (forced to be baptized at 14), I’m 46 now. I have tried so many antidepressants, did TMS and it didn’t work and I’m currently attending a mental health facility (for the second time). The next medication they want me to try required me to have an appointment with another psychiatrist. I saw him today and he asked me some questions. He said “I see you were involved in a cult.” I have never called it that with my current psychiatrist. But hearing it from this doctor made me feel so validated and seen. I started crying and continued crying on my way home. This cult has done so much damage to me. I’m hoping I can find the relief I need.

Hi everyone,
Just sharing because I view this as a safe place. Have been on a journey of fading and coming to terms with being shunned and navigating life. I somehow fell into the sex work industry and have been making quite a bit of money from it…haven’t really processed it or a lot of things and wondering if anyone else went down a similar path? It’s almost like it fills a weird empty void I have.
I have a regular day job and do this some evenings or on weekends.

I was baptized in 2008, and I’m 29 years old now. Lately, I’ve been questioning a number of changes within the organization, and a lot of things have been bothering me, especially when it comes to the brothers in my congregation.

I’m currently serving as an elder, but I’m planning to step down very soon. I’ve stayed in the position until now because my wife will definitely be very upset, and of course, I want to respect her feelings. But at the same time, I don’t intend to remain in the position any longer than necessary.

However, I wanted to share how I’ve been feeling with my mother, and I was already expecting the worst. I imagined that, at the very least, she would be sad, cry, become bitter, or ask me whether I had done something wrong.

But believe me, it was completely different from what I expected.

She actually had even bigger questions and concerns than I did. I currently live in a small town in the countryside, while she lives closer to the capital. And everything she expressed during our conversation made me realize that I’m not alone in these questions.

Once we started sharing our thoughts and talking about what has been happening, both in the congregation and within the organization in general, we ended up talking for more than two hours. Believe me, I normally can’t talk to people for very long, so spending more than two hours talking with my mother was a big deal for me. We both opened up, shared our feelings, and talked about things we had been keeping inside.

And it’s not just her. Even my older sister, who was baptized along with my mother in 2001, and my brother-in-law have also been having certain doubts.

I was incredibly grateful to my mother for helping me realize that I’m not alone in questioning these things.

Just to clarify, my questions have to do with things like parties being held in Kingdom Halls in Brazil during international conventions, adjustments in our understanding regarding disfellowshipped ones, the organization’s position on higher education, the use of one’s own blood, toasting, and several other issues. All of this has been making me question the current Governing Body.

(Context: 36 PIMO got baptized at 21 not a born in) So this may sound cheesy but I was at work last week and this song popped on my Spotify. For years I would avoid this song because when it had first come out, our spiritual parents stated that there is spiritism in the song and we shouldn’t listen to it. That day had a huge impact on me becuase all around me people were listening to this song. I wanted to but I wanted to be faithful to Jehovah. I knew at that point that I would never have anything in common with others no matter how close o might feel. But becuase I did other things in secret, like playing violet games and the like amongst other things, I knew I could never be part of the inside and have JW friends. So for 15 years I spent always doing things alone. Always depressed and ashamed. It didn’t matter cause I was going to commit suicide. But now that I have woken up, I no longer want to die. I want to LIVE. So when this song came up I finally let it play it full. The hopeful words, the beat. I started moving my feet. And then I broked down in tears. I had to hide my face cause I didn’t want my co workers to see me. For the first time, I felt free to explore and choose what I wanted listen to without remorse. Thank you Shakira for making such a beautiful song.

Last night our congregation had two local needs parts. They said it was important so they shortened the book study so they could give two needs parts. One was about youths not living a double life and the second one was about how to treat removed people. I already knew going into it that I was not going to feel comfortable because when they made the announcement last week that a young guy was removed it felt super triggering. Then when they said they were doing this and sent an announcement about how they want all young people and kids to be at the meeting in person I knew that it was going to be based off of him.

It’s just horribly uncomfortable when you hear people crying and sniffling around you when they are doing these talks. Then you have the elder who literally cries on stage giving the one of the parts and it’s just silently you feel bad for them but at the same time you know all the rules are bullshit. The one elder who gave the part about not living a double life had mentioned how when he was younger he got kicked out of his home at 16 from his worldly family and he was likening it to how if a worldly family can have rules and kick you out for having a double life so can the congregation. Now I feel bad that had happened to him but it’s definitely not the same comparison. I don’t know what he did to deserve to get kicked out, but sometimes we are alienating ourselves from people who are literally doing nothing wrong scripturally simply because they don’t believe in the same organization as we do. It’s ridiculous and not loving no matter how much they try to gaslight you into believing it is.

The second talk was whatever I thought it was just to go along with the first one about how you can only give a greeting and make sure you aren’t doing any prolonged conversations. But when I got home my family was talking about it and they were like, our elders act quick because didn’t you see on Sunday and how all these people were hugging and talking to do and so who was removed? Then they were like I wonder if so and so was there and I did think I saw her there but they also continued by saying how they bet the elders warned her they were going to do that talk because they think it was about how everyone was talking to her and how they don’t understand why people would talk to her and they are glad the elders said something. I literally just left the room and shut the door because I didn’t want to hear it. It’s so weird they get excited about shunning people. It feels so unnatural and just absolutely ridiculous. They claim to promote peace and love and misrepresent Jesus because Jesus did eat with sinners. He never looked at someone and said no I will not give you the light of day. I’m not a believer but even I feel like I understand the Bible more than they claim to do.

I've had depression and anxiety for most of my life, and now that I'm pretty much completely out of the religion, I'm trying to fully focus on myself and my mental health.

But every time I manage to build up some hope and see a future for myself, the insane amount of anxiety about "the end that's fast approaching" tears me down again.

What also makes it worse is whenever I'm trying to vent to my parents about bad stuff happening in the world, I almost always get the response "luckily Jehovah will put an end to all this soon." Which immediately makes me spiral again.

I don't know what to do anymore. It seems impossible to get better or battle my depression cause it doesn't matter if I want to live or build a future for myself since it will all end soon.

Last week, a circuit overseer asked me whether I was working or on vacation. I replied, “Both, why?”

He said, “Because I get the impression you’re often on vacation.”

For context, I’ve already had elders complain in the past that I travel and go abroad too often, so I found the comment pretty interesting.

I simply replied: “Well, you’re often on vacation too. When you spend the whole year going from one assembly to another, you’re basically on vacation.”

He didn’t really have an answer to that.

A few minutes later, I went back and asked him why he had made that comment and whether someone had said something about me. He denied it and said it was simply because I “looked relaxed.”

So I answered: “I’m always relaxed. I have the peace of mind that surpasses all understanding.”

Sometimes JW vocabulary is much more useful once you stop taking it seriously.

How are we expected to be no parts of the world when we have to go to the world and work to support ourselves? We pay taxes into the government and aren’t expected to ask for anything in return. We have to get jobs from worldly people and then expect those people to understand our standoffish nature, time off requests and general apathy about the country or world.

I respect the Amish and Mormons much more for providing a safe space for their members. It’s damn near impossible for JW to live a happy life the way it’s set up. Doomed for mental health issues and financial stress.

Hypocritical if we are being honest.

I never got to celebrate being pregnant. No being showered with love. No baby shower. No feeling fully supported by my village or tribe. Only shame and guilt. Only fear and loneliness.

A little background: I think I became an unbaptized publisher at 14 or 15 and got baptized at 17. Only because my friends got baptized. I auxiliary pioneered maybe on e or twice. I got pregnant by a non jw at age 21. He was the 2nd person I’d ever had sex with. Disfellowshipped aka shunned while pregnant. Had my son (who is now 23) at age 22. At the time, because this was all I knew, I didn’t see what happened to me as wrong or bad but I felt awful. I got reinstated at age 24. Mostly because I was lonely and I missed my friends. But it never felt the same. I only went because I still loved at home with my mom who is still PIMI to this day.

I have been out for 14 years. No DA or DF. Just stopped going and moved. At first, I still believed everything I had been taught. Then, it gradually unraveled and I realized it was all BS and I felt bamboozled, hoodwinked, and led astray by being lied to my whole life! I went through a religious divorce, if you will. I had a visceral reaction to everything related to religion. Went through the 5 stages of grief. I still struggle with separating god from religion.

Grateful to my amazing friends that have experienced something similar via Christianity. That’s when I realized that I had never properly or fully deconstructed! I didn’t know it was a thing. I thought not being a part of the cult and recognizing it was all lies was enough.

What tools and resources have you used to help you deconstruct?