Dad is very sad.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I have so much to say but nobody would understand.
I’m a 43 year old dad of 4 to a 17F, 16M, 13M, 4F
Their mum lives in Scotland which is a 12 hour drive from me, (not including stops) with the 3 younger ones.
We divorced 2 years ago and it just doesn’t get easier. My eldest daughter lives with me as she is autistic, always been a daddy’s girl and has a v bad relationship with her mum. They are the same person so tensions arise. We cannot move to Scotland as her special needs provisions are in Cornwall with me. We couldn’t remove her from this easily.
I thought with time it would get easier but it’s not. I’m in Scotland for the last week as their mum went on holiday with her partner and I’ve loved every single second. I’ve loved picking them up from school, picking my youngest up from Nursery, I’ve loved getting their uniform ready, feeding them, watching TV with them, picking up the toys and food wrappers at the end of the day.
I’m crying now as I go home tomorrow. I have a gf there with 2 step children but it’s not the same. She says to concentrate on my new family but I can’t just kiss their foreheads or hug them as they walk past. When we watch a movie they both snuggle up to their mum on one end of the couch and I’m alone at the other. She doesn’t understand.
How long has it taken other dads to get over this and find a routine because I’ve had the absolute worst thoughts and it just gets worse every month that goes by. Does it get better?