r/Dads

Long story short: I'm enduring a rough patch in life for the last two years, not being able to secure a decent, long term job despite being highly qualified and with plenty of experience in respective field.

Every time I bring up the topic about the struggles of the job market, how it is difficult nowadays to even land an interview and financial stress, he brushes it off to me being lazy, not doing it properly and he is adamant that I could get any job in 20 minutes if I dressed in my Sunday best and went to the first place of business and shook a hand. On top of that, he undermines my qualifications and experience, telling me that I'm not as good as I think I am and all I am good for is driving a forklift at best.

He himself told me that he doesn't want to hear anything negative from me - my mental health, my financial stresses and everything that goes with it. Recently things got really bad and I am pretty much at a dead-end in life at the moment, and after learning it he resorted to not even picking up the phone when I call - which contradicts his once-in-blue-moon poetry how family is above everything and how everyone must be together and there for each other.

Had to get this off my chest, since I can't (or maybe, do not have anyone ) to talk about this in the real world. I figured that internet strangers might be of some help.

Even though I'm divorced, I make an effort to see my daughter every day. I take her to parks, we play at the river, we go on walks where I carry her on my shoulders since that's the only way she'll have it. I try to make her happy. She's my everything.

But I don't really feel like she cares about me. When she's with me, she often asks for her mom. And when she sees her, she goes balistic.

It's not like that with me - when she sees me, she runs to me, but I hardly get a hug or a kiss. I try to keep it cool but really, it's making me sad.

Does it get better? Is there something I can do to make her like me more?

Hey Reddit Dads. Imma football jock who is feeling pretty lost. Haven't had my Dad in my life since I was 5, and finding myself making decisions recently I'm not proud of. I want to be a good man, succeed with football, and find a nice woman. Treat people with respect, including myself. But without having my Dad in my life for so long, I just need guidance. Any Dads out there who could help? Thanks for your time.

I'm 37, three kids, full-time desk job. I've spent the last six months getting in the best shape of my life.

I've tried a few training apps along the way and bounced off every one. Cluttered, overcomplicated, and they all assume you already know what you're doing.

My wife wants to start training and there's nothing I'd actually recommend to her.

Full disclosure - I'm a mobile dev and I've been wondering whether to build something better. But before I waste six months on it I'd rather know what's actually broken.

So: if you've downloaded a fitness app and stopped using it - what was the thing that made you quit?

Hola tengo 18 años y me enteré que seré padre pasen consejos estoy muy perdido por dónde empezar

It must be that I am officially middle aged and a father, but I swear every time I go shoe shopping, maybe once a year, I find myself increasingly enticed by the long row of Sketchers tennis shoes, because they have this great looking combo of affordability and comfortable-lookingness. But I always restrain myself because something about the brand seems rather grandpa-ish, or that my wife would make fun of me. Do any fellow 30s-40s year old dads wear them? Are they decent shoes?

I’ll start in the comments.

I’m curious about the range of fathers we’ve got in here.

How old were you when you became a father — and looking back, did you feel ready?

I was 30 btw.

Biological dads, stepdads, adoptive dads, foster dads — however fatherhood found you, I’m interested.

Been n this relationship a few years. Have a kid together who is almost 3. We get along sometimes. Other times it’s straight torture. I feel weights Constantly. Constantly unhappy. Am i doing a good thing for my little girl ? Just keeping shit alive and holding it all together ? Should i put up with her just because of my child ? Isn’t life about sacrificing me for the ones i love ? I think about our past fights and things i found out that come to my mind every day even if it happened what seems like forever ago. Every thing always seems negative. Working my life away and unhappy for most of it just wondering if this is what it’s supposed to be like ? Feel a real man takes care of his family regardless of his own happiness.

Doesn’t have to be anything huge. Maybe you calmed a tantrum without raising your voice, survived a long outing with the kids, or just found five quiet minutes for yourself.
Would love to hear your little victories. We don’t celebrate dads’ small wins enough.

Earlier today, I (35) was cooking dinner (tacos) and my son (8) was doing homework. We had an agreement tonight that if he did all his homework, for the entire week, we would go to the trampoline park tomorrow after school. I made this proposal during school pickup today in a half-joking manner, but he sat in the back of the truck relatively quiet the whole way home, contemplating his options.

As we parked at the house, he confidently proclaimed "ok dad, I'll do it, but don't forget the jump socks tomorrow." For perspective, we're talking about a grand total of about 65-75 minutes of real homework. Reading, writing, and math. Spaced throughout the week, it's about 15-20 minutes per night.

So, here I am, cooking dinner, and I stopped to ask him a question about toppings for his tacos. He's nearing the end of his homework marathon. I turn, I look, and I say "Hey, do you want sour cream inside or on the siii...." and as I my voice trails off, I witness this boy standing at the table, looking down at his assignment, embattled in deep concentration, with a pencil in one hand, and wagging his finger at me with his other hand. This boy was far too busy to concern himself with tacos and sour cream...

Now, listen, we've had conversations about finger wagging. It's usually wildly disrespectful. You better have a damn good reason or some authority over the person you're doing it to, otherwise, get ready for an ass whipping.

Well folks, tonight, I let that shit slide....

I was so proud of him.

I waited patiently for him to finish, inspected his work, and promptly delivered tacos exactly as my Lil Prince commanded. I can't wait to jump with this boy tomorrow.

Peace out single dads of Reddit. Keep up the good work soldiers.

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some honest advice from dads and parents who’ve been in a similar situation.

I’ve got two kids: an eight-year-old daughter and a three-year-old son. Their moms and I are no longer together, and I’m trying to figure out how to be a more present father, as well as a better co-parent to both of their moms.

Right now, I’m working two jobs out of necessity. If I only worked one, I’d be bringing home around $1,200 a month, which simply isn’t enough to live on.

Because of that, my schedule is pretty packed. I work mornings, then work late into the night, Monday through Friday, and I also work Saturdays. Sunday is really the only day I consistently have free.

I’m not working these hours to avoid my kids. Honestly, it’s the opposite. I’m trying to provide for them, get myself into a more stable position, and build something better for all of us.

At the same time, though, I don’t want to look back years from now and realize I spent so much time working that I missed their childhood.

My son’s mom works overnight shifts at an auto plant. We used to live together and were in a relationship, but that ended about a year ago.

Now that I’m not in the home helping her and being around my son every day, I’m trying to figure out how I can still support her more and be there for my son as much as possible.

My daughter’s mom doesn’t work, and my daughter is eight. She’s in school and has activities like dance, so her schedule can get pretty busy during the week as well.

I guess what I’m really looking for is advice from other dads and parents who have had to balance working long hours with being a present parent.

If you’ve been in a similar situation:

How did you make the most of the limited time you had with your kids?

What did you do to stay connected with them when you couldn’t physically be there as much as you wanted?

How did you become a better co-parent after separating from your children’s other parent?

Is there anything you wish you had done differently?

Are there things you think I could be doing that I might not be considering?

I’m not looking for excuses or sympathy. I genuinely want to become a better dad and a better co-parent.

I know working this much isn’t ideal, but I’m doing what I feel like I have to do financially right now. I’m just trying to find the balance between providing for my kids and actually being present in their lives.

I’d really appreciate any advice, especially from dads who have been through something similar.
Thanks for reading.

Mom is SAHM, has no bills to pay and our LO is 14m

mom stays up till 2am every night doom scrolling and sleeps in every day until 10 to 11am "shes sleeping right now, 1230am" with the baby, now granted she does handle the night shift when the baby wakes up IF she does since i leave the house at 530am for work and typically don't get home until 3 to 4pm.

our LO is very behaved, she hangs out, plays, doesn't really mess stuff up and is so "good" that parents often ask us how have we trained her.

i come home after working construction 45 min drive both ways to sticky floors, no dinner, laundry piled up, trash bag sitting on the floor in the kitchen filled with trash, while the one in the trash bin is over piling. diapers scattered through out the house, mind you she sleeps until 10 to 11am.

the days i come home early with no announcement she's sitting on the couch on her phone smoking her dab pen while everything is blown up. she says she does not smoke alot but she will burn through 2 1 gram carts a week and hit 4 to 5 dabs when waking up and before bed which is absolutely absurd if you ask me, i do smoke, but i can have a cart for a month before its empty. i really don't care about drug use either as i use to dabble with drugs back in the day.

I'm just so stunned that i got told i don't do anything around the house, i just installed a pool by myself, spent over 1k for leveling and rock/sand delivery, when i asked her to help me by holding the transit stick she purposely acted like she didn't know what to do until i got pissed and told her ill do it myself AKA weaponized incompetence, she even smirked while walking away. when i told her we need to have set chores so if the chore isn't done that who Evers chore it is is at fault and she told me "we already do that and i want more help".

i do the cat litter, trash, clean the bathroom, start/swap laundry and take baskets up and downstairs.

so basically her roles are to cook, sweep/mop and fold/put away laundry and run a sweeper occasionally, and thats maybe once every 2 weeks. we have a dishwasher so we both run that when ever it gets filled.

i also handle all the maintains on the house and cars, pay every single bill including her insurance for her vehicle. she DOES work 1 day a week, maybe 2 if they approve her, but like i said she buys so much weed products basically her money goes to that, she has a credit card i put in her name of mine and she uses that if and when she goes grocery shopping.

im just so fucking pissed, i could understand if our LO was special needs and required 100% attention all day, but the days she would work for example on the weekends, shes so good for me, i feed her breakfast, she runs and fucks off for a while, takes a nap, i handle what i have to handle and then i fuck off for a while and by the time she gets home from work the baby is spent and just wants to sit around and watch cartoons.

this is the same one who is pushing me to get married and i refuse to, can you guys see why?

not doing so unless i have my forever home and a F U prenup signed, may sound like i hate this woman, but im doing all of this for my LO and protecting my ass in the process.

im sorry for the rant.

tell me what you guys think i should do, like if you guys were my long term friends.

Feeling a little overwhelmed. My son is 8 and has profound special needs, both developmental and medical. My husband has not been the same since the day he was born but has done his best to work through it. Lately, it’s gotten worse and I can tell depression is creeping in. His line of work doesn’t help, but he’s very good at compartmentalization so it doesn’t really impact the kids. Today was a bad day. He was sad, emotional and said he doesn’t have anything to look forward to and doesn’t feel joy anymore. He can’t see himself being truly happy ever again. I did confirm he is not feeling like harming himself or anything of that nature but it does explain the recent increase in outbursts and frustration. We have 2 other kids and I’d say we live a pretty normal life. I work from home and do my best to take on as much as humanly possible. He does get out of the house once a week/ at least every 2 weeks when the weather cooperates to play a round of golf. He has spoken to a therapist a few years back but she wasn’t the right fit. I’m not sure where to go next but I needed to get this out. Thanks in advance.