r/Dads

Hi gents,

My wife is currently 30 weeks pregnant and is very tired these days. Other than doing normal household things like cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc.. what are some things I can do for her that would help her a bunch?
I feel like those other things are just expected of me. What can I do to make her over the moon? Some ideas I’ve had are.. 1.)making a prep cart for her for after birth that only have things on it to help her healing, 2.)setting up the changing station in the bedroom, 3.) organizing the nursery even more.

TIA!!

So my second child, a girl, was born on the 10th of June, I took two weeks paternity and the did two weeks holiday so I’ve had a month off and tomorrow I’m back at work.

I feel really emotional and underwhelmed. I don’t have any close friends I can be open with to talk too this about. Before my daughter was born I was excited for sure, a month of with the family, would be able to watch the majority of the World Cup (which has been shocking and the only real sport I enjoy watching)

Me and my wife had got into a little routine that works for the 4 of us.

I don’t love my job but I love my profession.

But yeah I just feel super emotional, I’ve already cried once today, is guess this is normal? Two massive changes with the dynamics of the family and then the baby bubble bursting and back to reality.

Need advice trying to teach my son how to ride a bike he’s 7 turning 8 soon and has absolutely no desire to learn to ride he actually hates it and I have to drag him to try. When he does he puts in zero effort. It’s been going on for 2 years I thought when he got older he would want to learn but I was wrong. Anyone else have this problem any advice?

I’m pretty relaxed out, at a bit of a private wooded beach.

Started overheating some light hearted arguing, and I started paying a bit more attention.

Dad beside me has his kids playing a game where for everything they find in the water that’s manmade and return to the shore in a neat pile, they get points.

I think this game goes to 30, and on one hand the dad is being absolutely brutal with the points. At the same time his kids are learning a lot about what’s man made and what isn’t.

Kid just came up with a rock.

“That’s a rock, no points.”
“It’s a red rock!”

Absolute genius.

So for context, me [19F] and my boyfriend [27M] have been official for 2 months, and we talked for 2 months prior to making it official. I knew he had a kid prior to talking to him (a 2 year old). We decided it was time for me to meet his son and his family in one day.
I got off work and drove to see him. I got there at about 7pm when I went inside and said hi to him and his son. We had small interactions here and there but nothing major.
About 30 minutes after I got there my boyfriend put him down for bed and me and him eventually went to bed ourselves.
However the next day was a different story.
I woke up at about 7:30 and my boyfriend and his son were in the living room. I hid behind the door for a moment before finally sitting down on the far side of a couch. From then on, I literally just sat there. I had no idea what to do or how to interact with his son. I know he's only 2 but I have little to no experience with kids at all so l was clueless. My chest felt fuzzy. All I could do is watch my boyfriend interact with his kid. I don't know why this happened and i couldn't move, I wanted to interact with him. I just... couldn't? My boyfriend said I looked miserable the entire time but it's not how I felt inside.
My boytriend puts him down tor a nap around 11am and we both talk about it. It's very obvious he was disappointed in me and upset for the little interaction I had with his kid. He told me it's best if I just drive home and not meet his family in chances of ruining their fun as well.
I feel terrible. I cried the whole way home. I'm not sure if maybe it was just because it was too early? Any thoughts/ insight would help.

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Being a dad is a full time job, and you’re practically on duty (even with support from mom) every waking moment. How do you find time to relax, and what do you do?
Myself, I like to play video games. I get maybe an hour or so a few times a week, and a bit longer on weekends when I stay up. I feel guilty sometimes when I’m not spending time with my kids every waking moment.
What’s your experience?

In conversation about the World Cup, repeatedly say FIFE-A rather than FEE-FA

I was eating lunch at the table with my dad and I got pretty full from my meal. There was also a bowl of cherries in front of me, and my dad asked me to have one. I told him that I was honestly pretty full but that I would have one later just because I didn't feel like it in the moment. I've already been having some stomach issues that he knows about, so I didn't feel like putting more food in my mouth after I was already full.

He kept insisting that i try one but I just repeatedly told him that I would just have it later. From there, he became incredibly angry and started shouting, lecturing, threatening me, and even yelling at my mom who was trying to defend me. His whole point was that I am "disobeying" him.

From my perspective, I feel as if I was reasonable in my reasons for not wanting to have one. What are your thoughts?

The kid got her permit Tuesday. We took her to the school parking lot twice and around the neighborhood once. So now she is accustomed to pushing the pedals and turning and hitting the blinkers. Today town is traffic free so its a great time to hit the road, we live in a smallish town. NOPE! We get a few blocks from the house and theres an intersection where its kind of hard to see(im aware before hand so im on a fuckin swivel). Its clear, we take a right, kid hits the left blinker then because we need to take a left again(its kind of an S deal because the roads are offset by about 1/3 of a block). This MFer behind us at the stop sign floors it around us on the left! WITH A DAMN BOAT IN TOW! I put a fuckin “student driver, please be patient” sticker on the back for a reason! Thank god when i yelled “hit the brake” she HIT THE BREAK! We called it day after we went the last two blocks to the gas station and i drove from there. It was about 12 hours ago now and i think my heart still no wants to jump out of my chest a bit! We’re talking about 6” farther into our left turn and my vehicle and his boat are totaled! Possibly his motor could have wound up in my cab? If you are reading this thinking “i camt even picture that in my head” its because that would be impossible!

I’m looking for some advice on whether it makes financial sense to upgrade our car.
Right now, we have a Subaru Forester (5-seater) that’s still being financed for about 3 more years. Our monthly payment is $658, if that matters.
We just had our second child 3 months ago, and we’re starting to feel like we’ve outgrown the Forester. With two car seats in the second row, my wife barely has enough room to sit comfortably between them, which has become a problem on longer drives.
Based on current trade-in estimates, the car is worth around $24k, and I still owe about $19.5k to my credit union, so I’d have roughly $4.5k in equity (although I think I could probably sell it privately for around $29k).
We’re considering upgrading to a 7-seater SUV with fewer than 50,000 miles, ideally in the $30k–40k price range.
One additional factor is that both my mom and my mother-in-law are visiting us this fall, so we’ll definitely need a larger vehicle by then. If we don’t buy one, we’d likely rent a bigger vehicle during their visit.
For those who’ve been in a similar situation:
Would you upgrade now or keep the Forester until it’s paid off?
Does it make more sense to trade it in or sell it privately?
Are there any 3-row SUVs you’d recommend in the $30k–40k range that are reliable for a family of four?
I’d appreciate any advice or experiences.

To give some background. I'm 22 years old. I am a Staff Accountant at a construction company. M-F is 8am to 5pm. I also work Saturdays 7am to 3:30pm for a Cabinet shop. Part helping in the shop and other is administrative work. I am in school full time for accounting 12 credits all online and I got 1 more year of schooling. I am a husband, and a father to a 16-month-old and a baby coming December 2026. I work a lot to try and keep my family comfortable and my wife a Stay-at-home mom. I'm also trying to start working out again due to health issues that I'm afraid will prevent me long term of being a better father. I had Torn my labrum from Collegiate wrestling and reinjured that caused bone loss in the front part of my shoulder. Frequent dislocations still occur but when I consistently exercise it doesn't happen as often. M, W, F I lift 30-45minutes T, Th, Run for 30 minutes.

I understand I just threw a ton of information all at once. My main focus is how to prevent the burnout issue from affecting my family and what goes on in the home. As of lately, I have been trying to clean up the kitchen, dishes, put the living room back in order, for my Wife to wake up to an organize/clean home. I try to detail my wife's car every other weekend to keep in clean and smelling good. Then every week, I will try to give the bathroom a good clean to keep it decent all the time. I will say there are evenings and days where I don't get the kitchen organized or I leave my clothes on the bathroom floor.

How do I support my stay-at-home wife with the house and kids without overloading myself to the point where I become resentful or burnt out? Also, what are more impactful things I could be doing to help my wife and kids? All advice is appreciated, thank you.

Extra note: Hopefully when I finish up school. I can get a pay increase to stop working Saturdays. Or figure out how I can bring my kids to the cabinet shop to hopefully teach them tools and such.

A few days ago, I had one of those situations with my daughter that stayed with me afterwards.

We were at the playground and it was time to leave. I told her we had to go soon, but when the moment came, she did not want to leave at all. She started crying, held onto the climbing frame and got really upset.

I was tired, we were already late and in the end I picked her up and carried her home while she was screaming.

Nothing terrible happened, but later I kept thinking about it.

Could I have handled it differently?

Was she testing a boundary, or was the transition simply too sudden for her?

Should I have given her more time, or would that just have made the situation harder?

That evening, I described the situation to ChatGPT and asked how someone with a needs based parenting approach might look at it.

I expected a generic answer, but it was actually quite helpful.

It said that young children often struggle with transitions, especially when they are deeply involved in something. It suggested giving a five minute warning, then a one minute warning, letting her choose one final thing to do and involving her more in the process of leaving.

What helped me most was the suggestion for what I could still do afterwards.

It said I could acknowledge that she really wanted to stay, tell her that being carried away probably felt upsetting and reconnect with her without changing the boundary.

I do not think AI should raise children or make parenting decisions.

But after a stressful moment, I often find it difficult to look at my own behaviour calmly. Talking it through helped me understand the situation better and think about what I could try next time.

It made me wonder whether other parents would find something like this useful too.

A simple place where you describe a difficult moment by voice, answer a few questions and get help reflecting on what happened, what your child may have needed, what you could do now and what you could try next time.

More like a private reflection tool than an AI telling you how to parent.

Would you use something like that, or would it still feel uncomfortable to involve AI in parenting?

I’ve got a 4-year-old and a 7-month-old, so from about 5am onwards, the house is just loud.

I really don't want to be the default angry, shouting dad when things get chaotic but it's hard sometimes...

I keep seeing all this advice online about "co-regulation". The idea is that you have to be the calm anchor for your kid's storm because they can't calm themselves down.

In theory, it sounds great. In practice, when my 4yo is having an absolute meltdown over something or other, and I’m running on a couple hours of broken sleep, every instinct I have tells me to just to stop the noise.

Sitting on the floor trying to lend him my "calm" feels physically impossible when I am burnt out.

For the guys who actually manage to keep their cool - what does this look like for you in the moment? Do you have an internal monologue or a physical trick to stop yourself from just snapping and shouting over the noise?

Your co-parent can’t unsend it. Neither can you.
Been seeing a lot of posts here about screenshots being disputed in court, messages being deleted, “that’s not what I said” becoming a whole argument.

I was going through this exact scenario. Painful back and forth with the he said she said. I said no more. I Built something in DadSpace specifically for this. Co-parent messaging that’s locked the moment it’s sent. No editing, no deleting, legal names attached, full timestamps. Your co-parent doesn’t need an account, just a secure link. Export the whole thread as a court-ready PDF in one click. I am now on the way to a better more functional version of coparenting and I wanna help dads like me get through a tough situation in the easiest way possible!

Live now, free to use.

(idk if I've posted this in the wrong sub lol)

Hey! I [TM15] have never had a present father figure in my life, as my birth dad got put in prison when I was 3.

I've always really wanted a supportive dad in my life, especially as my mum doesn't like me much or support the fact I'm transgender. I really want like, a permanent dad figure who I can talk to and ask advice or share life stuff

Does anyone know where I can find someone who'd want to be one or something like that?

Sorry if that sounds stupid lol

I want to preface this with saying.. I have the absolute most respect for my wife while carrying our child. The sacrifices and physical demands are undeniable and I can't thank her enough. My situation is this.. throughout the whole pregnancy (now third trimester) she has had zero sex drive or even non sexual intimacy in her. I totally get it and I know it's hormonal plus body image etc. As a male in my late 20's.. my sex drive is through the roof and I guess maybe since I'm unable to get it out now for 7 months, it has just amplified times a thousand. I am a Christian and I have tried for about a year now, and been successful, at not watching pornography. During this period of no intimacy, the urge to watch porn is consuming me but the guilt I feel afterwards makes me hesitant to do so. I don't want anything bad to happen and potentially attribute it to my sins. Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice on what worked for you? Should I not feel guilty if I watch porn every once in a while during this period of time? Just at a crossroads here. Thank you all!