I got told recently that i do nothing and she is "drowning".
Mom is SAHM, has no bills to pay and our LO is 14m
mom stays up till 2am every night doom scrolling and sleeps in every day until 10 to 11am "shes sleeping right now, 1230am" with the baby, now granted she does handle the night shift when the baby wakes up IF she does since i leave the house at 530am for work and typically don't get home until 3 to 4pm.
our LO is very behaved, she hangs out, plays, doesn't really mess stuff up and is so "good" that parents often ask us how have we trained her.
i come home after working construction 45 min drive both ways to sticky floors, no dinner, laundry piled up, trash bag sitting on the floor in the kitchen filled with trash, while the one in the trash bin is over piling. diapers scattered through out the house, mind you she sleeps until 10 to 11am.
the days i come home early with no announcement she's sitting on the couch on her phone smoking her dab pen while everything is blown up. she says she does not smoke alot but she will burn through 2 1 gram carts a week and hit 4 to 5 dabs when waking up and before bed which is absolutely absurd if you ask me, i do smoke, but i can have a cart for a month before its empty. i really don't care about drug use either as i use to dabble with drugs back in the day.
I'm just so stunned that i got told i don't do anything around the house, i just installed a pool by myself, spent over 1k for leveling and rock/sand delivery, when i asked her to help me by holding the transit stick she purposely acted like she didn't know what to do until i got pissed and told her ill do it myself AKA weaponized incompetence, she even smirked while walking away. when i told her we need to have set chores so if the chore isn't done that who Evers chore it is is at fault and she told me "we already do that and i want more help".
i do the cat litter, trash, clean the bathroom, start/swap laundry and take baskets up and downstairs.
so basically her roles are to cook, sweep/mop and fold/put away laundry and run a sweeper occasionally, and thats maybe once every 2 weeks. we have a dishwasher so we both run that when ever it gets filled.
i also handle all the maintains on the house and cars, pay every single bill including her insurance for her vehicle. she DOES work 1 day a week, maybe 2 if they approve her, but like i said she buys so much weed products basically her money goes to that, she has a credit card i put in her name of mine and she uses that if and when she goes grocery shopping.
im just so fucking pissed, i could understand if our LO was special needs and required 100% attention all day, but the days she would work for example on the weekends, shes so good for me, i feed her breakfast, she runs and fucks off for a while, takes a nap, i handle what i have to handle and then i fuck off for a while and by the time she gets home from work the baby is spent and just wants to sit around and watch cartoons.
this is the same one who is pushing me to get married and i refuse to, can you guys see why?
not doing so unless i have my forever home and a F U prenup signed, may sound like i hate this woman, but im doing all of this for my LO and protecting my ass in the process.
im sorry for the rant.
tell me what you guys think i should do, like if you guys were my long term friends.