Wand vs. bottom dysphoria
For a bit of context, I've been socially transitioning for years at this point and I have HRT around the corner but it's not quite here yet. In any case, I have pretty bad bottom dysphoria. For as long as I remember, I hated seeing my thing. Still, as I got older I started getting a libido. I always felt disgusting during masturbation and until my transition I thought I might be asexual because the thought of sex was genuinely disgusting to me. I came to realize that I'm not asexual, but that I instead just hate my body and can't enjoy sex with it. Masturbation always felt like a chore at best and when I got physically close with my ex the moment was sometimes ruined by me getting an erection and becoming really uncomfortable.
I don't know why it took me this long, maybe I just thought it wouldn't work as well as it did, but I got a wand vibrator a little over a month ago. And I have to say, OH MY GOD. I no longer have to touch my parts to masturbate! The first time I used it I was NOT prepared. I can rub certain areas and kind of think of it like a clit, with a bit of mental effort I can actually enjoy sex now! Even if I can't prevent an erection (hoping not stimulating it during HRT will make it permanently flaccid) this thing has been huge for my sexual health, and I'm very happy I found a way to maybe enjoy sex now, especially because I just discovered my crush likes me back a few months ago. Despite there being nothing officially the near future will likely see us grow closer to each other, as we've both admitted there's more between us. Now I can be less worried if we get to a point of physical intimacy because I might have found a way to enjoy it after all! I was always so afraid of sex because I don't want to disappoint my partner and not be able to do it properly, it feels really good that I've now found a second way that helps me enjoy it more, the first being anal stimulation.
Anyway, this vibrator is my new best friend. 10/10 would recommend!