u/CaptainSmallPants

So we've been together for around 3 months now but I've known her about a year. She's an amazing person. Super hardworking and kind and a lot of our hobbies and interests match too. I love her dearly and want a long term relationship with her, hopefully forever.

But there's one issue: We have different views about how to process negative emotions. She's the kind of person who closes down when hurt and won't talk to you about it. She says talking about negative things make them bigger than they are and she doesn't want to change the "vibe" I guess. If I ever have to sit down with her and talk about something she gives very little input, whatever she's comfortable with and it's mostly me talking which ends with an "okay" and then she leaves to process and comes back normal once done. (Side note : I also like talking about politics and what's happening in the world but since a lot of it is negative she doesn't want to discuss any of that. She also can't watch any movie with any kind of violence in it or some injustice being shown because it takes up her whole headspace.)

I work different in this department and unless something has been addressed it keeps making me feel uneasy and my mind struggles to consider the problem as "over".

For example, we had a disagreement last night while texting and we went to bed on somewhat okay terms but there was still some tension tomorrow morning and we didn't message much beyond everyday Good morning. Feeling this tension, I sent her a message saying that I feel like there's still some negative feelings around maybe and I'm here if you want to talk about what you're feeling. She appreciated the message and after a while reacted with a heart emoji on it so I think she was happy that I mentioned it but she also didn't say anything. And a few minutes later just sent a photo of some stuff and seemed all happy but I just couldn't shake the feeling that there's some awkwardness around and we haven't talked about our feelings at all. When she called me later I just couldn't keep it in and said what I was feeling but for her it again ruined the vibe I guess and now she's even more upset than before.

She said one of her characteristics is that she prefers to talk about positive things and if I need a partner that can talk about negative stuff for long then that's just not her.

This kind of sounded to me like a break up offer which I absolutely don't want. How do you think I should approach the situation? I know the obvious answer is to just decide if this is okay for me or not but it's one of those things where I feel like it's not big enough to break up but I would also like a partner with whom I don't have to filter out my feelings or depend on some other friends when I'm feeling down or not so positive about some situation. I really want her in my life so even if your first instinct is that we're incompatible or we should break up, I'd really like to hear instead about ways I can manage it and be with her. Because like I said, other than her aversion of negativity she's quite literally the best person I know and I don't want to give up on her.