Never had a purpose until now
I never had a sense of purpose, for about the last 6-8 years I have done well financially for myself and started a few small businesses that have done well for me. I have never found much meaning or joy from life, maybe small blips of joy and happiness that were ultimately suffocated by the burden of life. I met a beautiful women inside and out, we got into things very quickly with no plans - she got pregnant. I was terrified. I never had plans to be a dad. I have an amazing father, I love my dad but I never imagined being half the man he is. The love for his kids and family seemed unimaginable to my when I was young. My now wife and I quickly married as we didn't want our child to be born without us being married. I was terrified, felt like I was rushing into things and knew it was risky but we continued on and gave it a shot. Fast forward and now my son is now 9 months old, and I have to fight back tears every day just looking at him learning everything. I had no idea how much this would change me as a man. I feel like someone reached into my chest and delivered the heart and soul I had been missing all these years. I've become so much gentler and patient, not just with my family but also friends and strangers. I get chills just thinking about my son and how grateful I am for my wife and how much I love them. It's really beautiful watching your wife be a mother, this really is my purpose now. I want more kids, I want to paint a childhood for them that I had, a happy home with happy memories. I named my son after my dad because of how much his leadership meant to me my whole life watching him be a man, struggle, get back up and keep on for his family. I can only hope and do my best that in the future my son and future children look at me the way I look at my father. All the new dads here, you got this! Good luck, I know this is all over the place and not very organized but I'm sitting here in my home office wanting to express myself so here we are.