Calling it Quits
I’ve been smoking for a few years now. I had my first joint when I was 15 one midnight cause I couldn’t sleep, and I had previously asked my friend to steal some from his dad and when it was time to smoke it he backed out😅so I had kept it with me and decided to smoke it alone that night. I managed to roll it somehow without prior knowledge. It being my first time I felt a weird type of way, I knew I was high but I had no idea it felt like that. My friend never asked me if I smoked it or not and I never asked him for more.
Over the years, I started doing it more and more. I remember this one time I got so high I got lost on my way back home 😆I eventually made it home. When I made it in bed I held my sheets so tight hoping I’m not actually home and wasn’t hallucinating.
Then over the years, I started slipping into depression. I remember this one heartbreak that really tore me apart. I started drinking so heavily, and when that wasn’t working for me. I turnt to weed. It really helped me brainstorm 😆but like most people complain about, it made me lazy. I remember getting high everyday for about 6 months! I’d smoke about 7-8 joints daily. It reduced when I started doing my internships, I’d only smoke once when I’d get back from work and I wasn’t staying with my parents then so I wasn’t really worried about hiding it. I openly told my friends about it, and some would join me and even ask if I had some. At times id say I don’t or plain out tell them I can’t give them any cause I didn’t want it to be a crutch for them too. They wouldn’t get mad about it too, cause it wasn’t their thing. I think they only did it with me to spend time with me.
When I got back home after my internships ended and I had nothing to do. I started doing 7-8 joints again. I’d be high all day and just lay in bed. The feeling was so good. I never wanted to do anything except get high. I’d cancel plans with my friends to just get high and lay in bed 😆
Then my brother snitched on me. Plus I got sloppy. I’d leave my weed out and I even ended up telling him I smoke. He acted casual about it. I assumed he’d understand cause he seemed mature enough. But I was wrong. He told my parents and my older siblings, and these are people I look up to so much. For the following days I had hated him. I completely stopped making conversation and would pretend he’s not taking to me. I kept asking myself why he would snitch on me. I never did anything wrong to him😆I’d just get High and be in my bed..
Then a few days after, the lecture came. One of my older siblings took me on a walk. And on our way back she brought it up. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. But she told me this one thing that stuck with me, “I’m not disappointed in you.” She simply wanted to know why I was smoking. She gave me examples of people whose lives have been ruined by addiction, and asked me all sorts of questions about it too…..I have to run unfortunately 😭but if you enjoyed reading this let me know and I’ll finish it!!