Attachment and Emotional Regulation
Hey! So, not sure where to start. For context: I'm diagnosed with autism and am in the process of getting a diagnostic done for ADHD. This post is mainly gonna be about attachment theory and regulating emotions. I really struggle with anxious attachment issues, like REALLY BADLY. I see a therapist every two weeks. I have reached a point where I feel like I know every technique to regulate my emotions under the sun, but I don't know what to do. It doesn't always feel like it helps. I cry more than the average person usually.
I'm in my first real long-term relationship and have been having more fun than I have in a really long time. My mom had anxious attachment issues and my father was a textbook avoidant. The issue I'm running into is learning how to sit with feelings of uncertainty and fear. I do all the things like naming the feeling, cold water on my face, the 54321 thing, etc. I don't know if I'm actually feeling things or just looking for ways to get rid of the feeling.
I have made progress as I was able to remove myself from a high pressure social situation without crying or breaking down, but felt the weight and embarrassment of having to step away.
How do I exist with the uncertainty and disregulation, but still function throughout my day? Enjoy things? It's all getting really heavy.