u/Careless_Squirrel728

I find this really irritating - of course a risotto is bland if you’re just stirring some stock through risotto rice with a few mushrooms and a chicken breast. There was a thread on another sub recently where someone was trying to insist that home made lasagne wasn’t as flavourful as a family sized one from Aldi. Again, if all you’re doing is just adding a jar of dolmio to beef mince OF COURSE lasagne is going to be bland.

People just need to learn to cook!

25 weeks with our first baby today and I have been mulling over our wills should the worst happen.

These are the choices I think:

Our parents - either mine or ILs. The obvious problem here is they are getting older and I would worry that they would suffer further disruption if they died or that it would be too difficult for them as they age. They are already all aged 66-68. The pro is that they are all local to us so she wouldn’t need to change school etc. on top of everything else.

My brother 1 - pro is that he has a daughter already (8). Con is that he is recently divorced and while I would be happy for him to have baby girl with my niece I obviously don’t know what new partner or blended family arrangement he might enter into in the future. Lives about an hour and a half away so would need to change schools but wouldn’t be too far from grandparents etc.

My brother 2 - Pro is that he is recently engaged to a lovely woman and they have plans to have kids in the future even though none yet. Both are teachers. Con is that they live 4 hours away so it would mean changing schools and being generally more disruptive and away from both sets of grandparents

My Brother in Law - I think this is an obvious no but I’m including for balance. The pro is that he lives locally. The con is that his partner very vocally hates kids lol.

My cousin and her husband - live reasonably local (30 minutes ish), no kids yet but plan to in the future. We don’t know her husband that well but he seems like a kind man and is good with his nephews.

I think that’s it really - my husband has a cousin who lives locally but no kids and no plans to have kids, we have local friends obviously but that seems like a big ask when there are family options.

Who should we ask?

24 weeks now - still don’t have a huge bump although definitely showing.

Before pregnancy I was at the gym 3ish times a week and did a lot of walking.

Pregnancy I have still been walking but have switched to swimming 3-4 times a week because of the heat and I’ve been getting really dizzy.

I cannot get over how unfit I feel - I just did a little whizz round the bathroom and ran up the stairs and I have had to rest. I’m out of breath from almost any exertion at all and I’m getting so HOT even though it has cooled right down where I am.

I feel like I am suddenly horribly unfit - I think this is relatively normal but it has got me a bit worried about my general ability to cope and how I will be postpartum. Anyone else?

Moving house - suddenly are paying an extra £35k because onward purchase fell through and nothing else available at that price point so money won’t be quite so comfortable as it was on our previous purchase but we still have somewhere between £1200 - £1500 a month leftover after mortgage, bills, childcare, some planned savings (£450), the food shop and discretionary subscriptions (Disney, gym, Spotify etc) as well as budgeting a £200/month float for any unexpected purchases related to our baby which I don’t think is an amazing position but I don’t think it’s terrible either.

We are okay with being a little bit house poor for a while as a bigger house is our current priority and it will hopefully be our forever home.

The new purchase would put us at 78% LTV so we’re looking at a rate of somewhere between 4.7 and 4.9 or £1800/month.

If we can get the LTV down to 75%, we could get a 4.6 which would put our payments at about £1650/month (a big difference).

We HAVE technically got the money (£15k) to do this but it would leave us with only £5k left in the pot for unexpected bills and buying bits and bobs for the new house.

I have £5k credit card debt interest free leftover from buying a new car earlier this year (started at £12k) which I intend to pay down to about £4k before we move and then pay the minimum for a while until moving to another interest free deal next summer.

WWYD? I have budgeted moving costs, stamp duty etc separately.

Original post

https://www.reddit.com/r/HousingUK/s/bym8PZ0YRS

Thank you for all the words of encouragement - it did really help when honestly I was despairing on Tuesday.

We have had an offer accepted on a different house that we also love but ruled out before because we felt it was over priced, chain free, and our buyer is happy to wait.

I am anxious because there are some questions about the house and mortgage rates have gone up since we were offered a mortgage in June so it’s going to be more expensive on top of being more expensive.

That being said I am tentatively excited again. I just wish it wasn’t a bank holiday as I now have to wait until Tuesday for anything to happen with my broker and the solicitor!

As above. Got a call last night to say that just as we were starting to talk about dates for completion our sellers have decided they don’t want to sell after all. I don’t understand it, they had a buyer pull out on them earlier in the year and relisted - how can you just decide now you can’t be bothered with it all?

I’m pregnant and this was supposed to be our forever family home. I now don’t know know what to do
- try and find another house to move into before Christmas when the baby comes?
- pull out ourselves and stay here for a bit longer. I don’t know if I can face all the viewings etc with a baby and all the agro it entails, it was bad enough this time
- break the chain to keep our buyer and move in with family/rented while we look for something else?

All the options sound dreadful - this house is too small for a baby which is why we wanted to move. I’m worried about getting stuck here as I know there is a restructure coming for me at work in 2028. The house did not sell easily either.

I know people can pull out at any reason before exchange but they haven’t really even given one, just an email from the solicitor from the estate agent saying it was all too much and they don’t want to do it anymore - but the worst was over with!!

What should we do? 😭😭

UPDATE: Thank you for all the supportive posts. I have stopped crying for now and I really want to believe it is all going to be for the best. A house we offered on back in June but got rejected for has come back on the market and there is another chain free house we are interested in that we are seeing on Friday.

Our buyer doesn’t know yet - the current plan is to see what her situation is (I think she may have given notice) and try and secure one of these chain free houses. If she needs to complete before we can move we can stay with my parents for a little while. Thankfully they have a large 4 bed detached house with two living rooms so we won’t all be on top of each other.

23 weeks pregnant here with a planned pregnancy. Except I keep having a wobble that it’s all a huge mistake and we’re going to ruin our lives, get divorced and be miserable.

Please tell me everything you love about being a parent!

Apparently baby at 22 weeks is both the size of a grapefruit and also 27.8cm long!

A couple of weeks ago she was the size of a beef tomato but I’m pretty sure they are bigger than the pomegranate she was last week!

What’s the point of it if it can’t even be consistent?

And when are you due?

My due date is 19th December!! So there is a real chance I will be giving birth Christmas Day.

Other than that I’m not sure what to do really - both our families live locally so something will be doable.

If I’m still pregnant I suppose we will go to ILs and have a normal Xmas there, and the same Boxing Day with my family maybe.

We might be able to take baby to Christmas depending on how it goes but I can’t commit to that.

I might see if people are willing to bring Christmas to us. They bring food and cook it in my kitchen but I do no hosting and sit cuddling baby while they give me presents (there is precedent for that at Christmas 🤣)

Not actually asking for reasons because neither the Midwife, Sonographer or Consultant have been able to say anything other than “the algorithm puts you at moderate risk of low birth weight and preterm birth”.

It seems so bizarre to me that no one seems to be able to identify an actual reason.

Baby girl is small but not tiny - currently tracking the 35th Centile. I have no medical history to speak of and my pregnancy has been wholly uneventful.

Has anyone else had this?

20+4 here and haven’t really been showing other than looking like I have gained a bit of weight and got a bit chubby.

Had my scan yesterday (found out it’s a girl! 🎀🩷) and suddenly I both FEEL pregnant but also I all of a sudden LOOK far more pregnant than I did yesterday.

Did anyone else have this? It’s so weird to me!

I’m team “garidge”.

I’ve noticed a few people recently (including my mum!) pronouncing it “gararge”

The Americans seem to say “ga-arrrhge”

What are we saying?

As the title says - last night some light spotting started. I had it before at around 9 weeks and it turned out to be nothing and they couldn’t find a reason for it but I’ve been reading it’s much less common in the second trimester.

I really don’t want to trek up to the hospital unless it’s absolutely necessary. Last time it took them a week to give me a scan to find out what was happening and my 20 week scan is in 10 days anyway.

At the moment I’m just monitoring it so as not to over react but is that an underreaction? I also keep getting stabbing pains in my side around where my ovaries are but apparently that’s normal!

Something I’ve been pondering recently. Dogs cause so many problems in familial relationships because the dog owner won’t accept that it is an animal and doesn’t need to be brought everywhere, or that people have allergies and don’t want to be around it.

I’m currently pregnant and both me and my husband vehemently detest dogs and are allergic.

I have this horrible fear in 30 years time I’ll have a big falling out with my child because they have a dog and I won’t allow it in my home, and ask for it to be contained at theirs.

How can I avoid this? We obviously won’t have a dog but I can’t stop them being exposed to dogs in popular culture or meeting someone from a dog family (my worst nightmare).

Does anyone else worry about this?

My face feels like it has got really thin. Husband says he can’t notice it but he sees me every day and I can just tell in the mirror. I can feel it as well, I have less of double chin lol.

I’m gaining weight, my boobs are enormous I’ve gone up 2 cup sizes and I think I need to go up again and I do have a bit of a bump. I’m eating normally and never had any vomiting.

Most people seem to get a fatter face from what I have read - anyone else looking a bit gaunt?

17+4 and I still feel like I have imposter syndrome. I don’t know if it’s because we are moving house and in my head I can’t process having a baby until that is sorted but I just do not want to talk about my pregnancy at all, in fact I feel a bit embarrassed by it.

I don’t want to “show off the bump”. I don’t want people asking me how I’m feeling. I don’t want to answer well meaning questions about whether we are excited or whether it’s a boy or a girl. To be honest I don’t really feel excited, I feel stressed and anxious and worried about managing going shared parental leave and going back to work.

I don’t want people to look at me and perceive me as pregnant. I don’t want people to comment on how I’m starting to show. I don’t want to take bump pictures. I don’t particularly want to feel baby move either as I feel a bit squeamish about it.

Basically I just feel embarrassed and awkward to be pregnant.

We haven’t bought anything yet (moving house) and I don’t feel remotely connected to this baby which probably doesn’t help.

So much uninspiring crap on the market compared to even 6 months ago. Used to be there were some quite nice houses available in my price range £400-£450k but now all there is, is 3 year old ex new builds with tiny gardens, or older estate properties with zero character and absolutely nothing special about them.

The rooms are small and boxy, the gardens are either covered in horrible plastic grass or paved over. Those with actual grass are very small. The kitchens and bathrooms are old and altogether every single house is just nothing to get excited about.

Where have all the nice houses gone?

Husband and I can’t agree on any potential boy names for baby. He doesn’t seem to like any at all and just keeps suggesting we call a baby boy Paul after his dad and cousin 🙄

Baby boy names I like:
Elliot
Isaac
Declan
Niall
Patrick
Harvey
Nathan
Dexter
Stanley
Axel
Marcus
Marshall
Ambrose
Anderson
Jack
Hayden
Callum
Fraser
Samson
Austin
Jake
Darcy

I feel like I have suggested so many names and he literally hates ALL of them. Are they really so awful?

We have agreed on two baby girl names that we love really easily - Juniper and Clio.

As an aside, everyone I speak to seems to find boy names harder. Why is this?

First of all PSA FOR ANYONE NOT AWARE - you have to sort childcare while you’re still pregnant!

I’m only 15 weeks and have just been to interview a childminder!

Unfortunately I don’t think we can afford for me to go back to work part time as we are also moving to a bigger house (although don’t tell my husband but I might try and do four days).

Anyway my current plan is:
- compress hours into a 9 day fortnight (8:30-5:30)
- use a childminder from 8-5 M-W
- my mum and MIL to take turns on Thursdays and alternate Fridays (I will take the other one as my non working day).
- The childminder I’m probably going to use is shut for 7 weeks a year but doesn’t charge for it so I think this is a great compromise between term time only and full time. My husband and I can cover this with Annual Leave.

We are lucky that we will be able to cover the vast majority of our childcare with the funded hours once we are eligible but I’ve been told by the childminder I would need to start them in September (when baby is 9 months) for at least a day or two a week because she can’t afford to just keep it open.

I feel sad that I can’t afford to have more time off with my baby, or take a full year’s maternity leave. Everyone around me seems to take a full year at return 3 days a week so the idea of working full time makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.

What are other people doing?