u/Careless_Sundae_7921

I thought I should just share my experiences because I've seen a lot of content here that is either sex-repulsed non-libido asexual antisexuals (things like "sex is just: person stabs another person's icky genitals with their own icky genitals") and feminist antisexuals (things like "sex is just rape" or "sex is like stabbing") or both. I will not condemn these, heaven knows I know how hard it is for me myself to be told my ideas are absurd and I agree with the messages of these comments - I'm of course very concerned in particular about male on female sexual abuse, as a man I must apologise at how awful my kind can be - even if I don't necessarily resonate with the filler.

However, I would like to introduce a new form of secular antisexualism (it may not be new, I haven't spent much time on this subreddit, so apologies if this far more common than I realise) by providing my perspective as an aegosexual (to be more specific: High standards quasihetero-quasicupid-plantoni-aromantic, quasicaedo-apothi-piahomoapothi-homo-aegosexual (with the aegosexuality likely predating the "light" trauma) - I know it looks insane, but it's the best I've got to describe myself), I think there's something powerful about those of us who do understand to some degree the attraction to the acts rather than just finding them icky, and I would like to share my experience and hopefully resonate with others.

I had a typical sort of development as a child I guess (I can't fully be sure what's normal for children), experiencing some early form of sexual curiosity as a young prepubescent and coming across masturbation at 11 (yes I hadn't the most comfortable time, with dry orgasms, frenelum breve, premature ejaculation, etc (again, sorry for the detail and crassness, I'm very comfortable with talking about sex negatively/neutrally, even if I'm repulsed by the act and sex positive talk and sex enabling talk), but I was sort of typical). I came across porn online at around 13 and kept watching it without shame for two whole years - the extremity did not really matter, I saw some pretty extreme content as is usual of the internet - BDSM, consensual non-consent, public, that sort of thing.

Perhaps around 14, I started feeling uncomfortable about those taking about the necessity of condoms as if sex was a necessity - I decided (I had no interest in actual sex anyways) that sex was too dangerous for what it was worth: STIs, unwanted child (because of course it's not as if that's the precise point of sex), etc, and that masturbation was much better.

Fast forward to 15, November 2023, I was trying NNN as was typical of me and I was feeling confident that year as my drive felt it was subsiding. Got 15 days in, then I crashed into a really hypersexual stage, which made me feel guilty and out of control even without antisexual feelings yet. It was this precise thing which started my antisexualism, that lack of control, combined with my secrecy around the act (I'm very outwards and honest, as you might be able to see in how much I'm revealing about myself, so I hated hiding it), with an added realisation of just how uncomfortable I was with others' sex lives (I kept seeing forums telling parents to brush over and/or enable their child's sex life, which even then felt like a massively discomforting thing for me), combined with the overly clinical yet sex positive sex eds and last but not least, the raging hypocrisy between sex positivity, yet revulsion at child sexual activity, yet wishing to keep safe children who engage with each other in such a way. My beliefs for that last point had always been clearly favouring of enabling the children before this point, but I suddenly clicked and around that time (late 2023 to early 2024), I suddenly became the other way inclined: don't enable anyone to do such ghastly acts - they must be taboo for a reason, people needed to be more consistent in condemning sex, not just sex in certain contexts, even if they weren't for a reason, my newly discovered offence was ample reason for society to find it condemnable. This brought me into the start of my ongoing difficulties which I suppose I should call depression.

Fast forward a year and it's that time of year again, November 2024, and of course antisexual me who was wishing he could get chemically castrated by this point had to come across pornography of deeply illegal public sex acts on this very site (I probably shouldn't go into it, but trust me, it was worse than just public sex) and that traumatised me and left me completely broken for over 6 months, any subtlety or compromise I could have had was now gone, I don't believe I had even wanted to be in the relative proximity of sex for a whole year before, now I certainly didn't. November 2025 was suddenly the time when my attempts to stop with my masturbation - as I'd been properly trying to do for 2 whole years by this point - finally bared some fruit, as I'm now currently still largely keeping it down (relatively, at least).

The reason I have given this deeply personal overview which hopefully hasn't repulsed too many people - I'm sorry if I have, I hope you can understand I'm reflecting on my own activities critically, rather than acceptingly - is because I think it describes how I place myself as an antisexual. I am not repulsed by the sheer anatomy of the act - to the contrary, it somewhat excites me, even the pages here on calling the penis a knife to stab someone with, taking about ejaculating into others, taking about fluids, etc, I don't view those things in a way I feel is similar to others here but more so probably how allosexuals (or even more fittingly, non-antisexual aegosexuals) do. However I still feel guilt when the lust wears off: post coitus dysphoria, general guilt in watching pornography even if not orgasming, just a general repulsion to the types of things so many people seem to be doing in so many places around the world and how little shame they have. I still deeply relate to that feeling of isolation of living in a sex positive world, but for me it's arguably worse, I feel defeatist in trying to fight my own desires (though I've now got some ADHD medication which should help) rather than just hating others' (I don't know if those without libidos can't get nocturnal omissions because that requires arousal, semen otherwise coming out during urination, but I hate it too and would rather not have it) and I feel like my desire has dragged me into these dark pits far more intimately and graphically and frequently than with those who have the luxury of non-libido asexuality. I hope I am not alone here, hopefully this will make others with a similar story feel understood and, if it does, I would like to see people's replies, although I never spend any time at all on Reddit, so I may not see anything if I don't check.

I thought I should just share my experiences because I've seen a lot of content here that is either sex-repulsed non-libido asexual antisexuals (things like "sex is just: person stabs another person's icky genitals with their own icky genitals") and feminist antisexuals (things like "sex is just rape" or "sex is like stabbing") or both. I will not condemn these, heaven knows I know how hard it is for me myself to be told my ideas are absurd and I agree with the messages of these comments (I'm of course very concerned in particular about male on female sexual abuse, as a man I must apologise at how awful my kind can be) even if I don't necessarily resonate with the filler. However, I would like to introduce a new form of secular antisexualism (it may not be new, I haven't spent much time on this subreddit, so apologies if this far more common than I realise) by providing my perspective as an aegosexual (to be more specific: High standards quasihetero-quasicupid-plantoni-aromantic, quasicaedo-apothi-piahomoapothi-homo-aegosexual (with the aegosexuality likely predating the "light" trauma) - I know it looks insane, but it's the best I've got to describe myself), I think there's something powerful about those of us who do understand to some degree the attraction to the acts rather than just finding them icky, and I would like to share my experience and hopefully resonate with others.

I had a typical sort of development as a child I guess (I can't fully be sure what's normal for children), experiencing some early form of sexual curiosity as a young prepubescent and coming across masturbation at 11 (yes I hadn't the most comfortable time, with dry orgasms, frenelum breve, premature ejaculation, etc (again, sorry for the detail and crassness, I'm very comfortable with talking about sex negatively/neutrally, even if I'm repulsed by the act and sex positive talk and sex enabling talk)), but I was sort of typical, I came across porn online at around 13 and kept watching it without shame for two whole years. Perhaps around 14, I started feeling uncomfortable about those taking about the necessity of condoms as if sex was a necessity - I decided (I had no interest in actual sex anyways) that sex was too dangerous for what it was worth (STIs, unwanted child (because of course it's not as if that's the precise point of sex) etc) and that masturbation was much better. Fast forward to 15, November 2023, I was trying NNN as was typical of me as was feeling confident that year as my drive felt it was subsiding. Got 15 days in, then I crashed into a really hypersexual stage, which made me feel guilty and out of control even without antisexual feelings yet. It was this precise thing which started my antisexualism, that lack of control, combined with my secrecy around the act (I'm very outwards and honest, as you might be able to see in how much I'm revealing about myself, so I hated hiding it), with an added realisation of just how uncomfortable I was with others' sex lives (I kept seeing forums telling parents to brush over and/or enable their child's sex life, which even then felt like a massively discomforting thing for me), combined with the overly clinical yet sex positive sex eds and last but not least, the raging hypocrisy between sex positivity, yet revulsion at child sexual activity, yet wishing to keep safe children who engage with each other in such a way. My beliefs for that last point had always been clearly favouring of enabling the children before this point, but I suddenly clicked and around that time (late 2023 to early 2024), I suddenly became the other way inclined, don't enable anyone to do such ghastly acts - these must be taboo for a reason, people needed to be more consistent in condemning sex, not just sex in certain contexts, even if they weren't for a reason, my newly discovered offence was ample reason for society to find it condemnable. This brought me into the start of my ongoing difficulties which I suppose I should call depression. Fast forward a year and it's that time of year again, November 2024, and of course antisexual me who was wishing he could get chemically castrated by this point had to come across pornography of deeply illegal public sex acts on this very site (I probably shouldn't go into it, but trust me, it was worse than just public sex) and that traumatised me and left me completely broken for over 6 months, any subtlety or compromise I could have had was now gone, I don't believe I had even wanted to be in the relative proximity of sex for a whole year before, now I certainly didn't. November 2025 was suddenly the time when my attempts to stop with my masturbation (as I'd been properly trying to do for 2 whole years by this point) finally bared some fruit, as I'm now currently still largely keeping it down (relatively, at least).

The reason I have given this deeply personal overview which hopefully hasn't repulsed too many people (I'm sorry if I have, I hope you can understand I'm reflecting on my own activities critically, rather than acceptingly) is because I think it describes how I place myself as an antisexual. I am not repulsed by the sheer anatomy of the act (to the contrary, it somewhat excites me, even the pages here on calling the penis a knife to stab someone with, taking about ejaculating into others, taking about fluids, etc, I don't view those things in a way I feel is similar to others here but more so probably how allosexuals (or even more fittingly, non-antisexual aegosexuals) do, however I still feel guilt when the lust wears off (post coitus dysphoria, general guilt in watching pornography even if not orgasming, just a general repulsion to the types of things so many people seem to be doing in so many places around the world and how little shame they have). I still deeply relate to that feeling of isolation of living in a sex positive world, but for me it's arguably worse, I feel defeatist in trying to fight my own desires (though I've now got some ADHD medication which should help) rather than just hating others' (I don't know if those without libidos can't get nocturnal omissions because that requires arousal, semen otherwise coming out during urination, but I hate it too and would rather not have it) and I feel like my desire has dragged me into these dark pits far more intimately and graphically and frequently than with those who have the luxury of non-libido asexuality. I hope I am not alone here, hopefully this will make others with a similar story feel understood and, if it does, I would like to see people's replies (though I never spend any time at all on Reddit, so I may not see anything if I don't check).

I thought I should just share my experiences because I've seen a lot of content here that is either sex-repulsed non-libido asexual antisexuals (things like "sex is just: person stabs another person's icky genitals with their own icky genitals") and feminist antisexuals (things like "sex is just rape" or "sex is like stabbing") or both. I will not condemn these, heaven knows I know how hard it is for me myself to be told my ideas are absurd and I agree with the messages of these comments (I'm of course very concerned in particular about male on female sexual abuse, as a man I must apologise at how awful my kind can be) even if I don't necessarily resonate with the filler. However, I would like to introduce a new form of secular antisexualism (it may not be new, I haven't spent much time on this subreddit, so apologies if this far more common than I realise) by providing my perspective as an aegosexual (to be more specific: High standards quasihetero-quasicupid-plantoni-aromantic, quasicaedo-apothi-piahomoapothi-homo-aegosexual (with the aegosexuality likely predating the "light" trauma) - I know it looks insane, but it's the best I've got to describe myself), I think there's something powerful about those of us who do understand to some degree the attraction to the acts rather than just finding them icky, and I would like to share my experience and hopefully resonate with others.

I had a typical sort of development as a child I guess (I can't fully be sure what's normal for children), experiencing some early form of sexual curiosity as a young prepubescent and coming across masturbation at 11 (yes I hadn't the most comfortable time, with dry orgasms, frenelum breve, premature ejaculation, etc (again, sorry for the detail and crassness, I'm very comfortable with talking about sex negatively/neutrally, even if I'm repulsed by the act and sex positive talk and sex enabling talk)), but I was sort of typical, I came across porn online at around 13 and kept watching it without shame for two whole years. Perhaps around 14, I started feeling uncomfortable about those taking about the necessity of condoms as if sex was a necessity - I decided (I had no interest in actual sex anyways) that sex was too dangerous for what it was worth (STIs, unwanted child (because of course it's not as if that's the precise point of sex) etc) and that masturbation was much better. Fast forward to 15, November 2023, I was trying NNN as was typical of me as was feeling confident that year as my drive felt it was subsiding. Got 15 days in, then I crashed into a really hypersexual stage, which made me feel guilty and out of control even without antisexual feelings yet. It was this precise thing which started my antisexualism, that lack of control, combined with my secrecy around the act (I'm very outwards and honest, as you might be able to see in how much I'm revealing about myself, so I hated hiding it), with an added realisation of just how uncomfortable I was with others' sex lives (I kept seeing forums telling parents to brush over and/or enable their child's sex life, which even then felt like a massively discomforting thing for me), combined with the overly clinical yet sex positive sex eds and last but not least, the raging hypocrisy between sex positivity, yet revulsion at child sexual activity, yet wishing to keep safe children who engage with each other in such a way. My beliefs for that last point had always been clearly favouring of enabling the children before this point, but I suddenly clicked and around that time (late 2023 to early 2024), I suddenly became the other way inclined, don't enable anyone to do such ghastly acts - these must be taboo for a reason, people needed to be more consistent in condemning sex, not just sex in certain contexts, even if they weren't for a reason, my newly discovered offence was ample reason for society to find it condemnable. This brought me into the start of my ongoing difficulties which I suppose I should call depression. Fast forward a year and it's that time of year again, November 2024, and of course antisexual me who was wishing he could get chemically castrated by this point had to come across pornography of deeply illegal public sex acts on this very site (I probably shouldn't go into it, but trust me, it was worse than just public sex) and that traumatised me and left me completely broken for over 6 months, any subtlety or compromise I could have had was now gone, I don't believe I had even wanted to be in the relative proximity of sex for a whole year before, now I certainly didn't. November 2025 was suddenly the time when my attempts to stop with my masturbation (as I'd been properly trying to do for 2 whole years by this point) finally bared some fruit, as I'm now currently still largely keeping it down (relatively, at least).

The reason I have given this deeply personal overview which hopefully hasn't repulsed too many people (I'm sorry if I have, I hope you can understand I'm reflecting on my own activities critically, rather than acceptingly) is because I think it describes how I place myself as an antisexual. I am not repulsed by the sheer anatomy of the act (to the contrary, it somewhat excites me, even the pages here on calling the penis a knife to stab someone with, taking about ejaculating into others, taking about fluids, etc, I don't view those things in a way I feel is similar to others here but more so probably how allosexuals (or even more fittingly, non-antisexual aegosexuals) do, however I still feel guilt when the lust wears off (post coitus dysphoria, general guilt in watching pornography even if not orgasming, just a general repulsion to the types of things so many people seem to be doing in so many places around the world and how little shame they have). I still deeply relate to that feeling of isolation of living in a sex positive world, but for me it's arguably worse, I feel defeatist in trying to fight my own desires (though I've now got some ADHD medication which should help) rather than just hating others' (I don't know if those without libidos can't get nocturnal omissions because that requires arousal, semen otherwise coming out during urination, but I hate it too and would rather not have it) and I feel like my desire has dragged me into these dark pits far more intimately and graphically and frequently than with those who have the luxury of non-libido asexuality. I hope I am not alone here, hopefully this will make others with a similar story feel understood and, if it does, I would like to see people's replies (though I never spend any time at all on Reddit, so I may not see anything if I don't check).