r/antisex

im in college and I'm studying anatomy and physiology and my class has gotten to the point where I have to study the reproductive system and it's very triggering and feels disgusting to me.

im trying to read my books and study but it makes me feel sick and very disgusting and the thought that I'm forced to exist as a sexually reproducing animal is just so disgusting and I hate it. I wish I could have been born without a gender but no I'm supposed to have a sex and all these useless glands and organs and stupid hormones that don't do anything besides make me feel pain and cause me to be in physical and emotional pain.

my ultimate desire in life is to remove my reproductive organs and use hormonal supplements within a safe range to mellow everything out. but when I tried to talk to some people at a clinic about it, they dont take me seriously about the physical affects, and they try to say that I have a mental illness regarding the emotional affects.

has anybody else experienced this before? I hope I can avoid this as much as possible in the future. or at least force myself to forget all this higher level disgusting sex shit when it's over. I love every other body system and I love anatomy, I just can't deal with this.

I've been thinking about prostitution, and I find the idea to be so repulsive, and here's why:

It involves sex with a stranger, since the prostitute most likely doesn't know the client very well. I'm repulsed by this because: sex is very intimate because it involves skin contact and bodily fluids, which is already a bit disgusting to think about. Sex also causes vulnerability, especially for the female (most prostitutes are female) since there's a pregnancy risk, and she's the one getting penetrated. There's the risk of STDs too.

Imagine doing all of this with a stranger, and you're doing this just for the money. The idea just sounds so repulsive in my opinion, would you agree?

Then there's the fact that most prostitutes are doing this for the money, so consent starts to get murky. The prostitutes probably won't have sex with their clients if it wern't for the money.

Most prostitutes are women, so I think prostitution is bad for women. While at the same time, prostitution benefits men's sexual urges, since they can see prostitutes and follow their animalistic urges, instead of controlling them like a decent human being.

I'm a pretty moderate antisexual. I would say that, in my view, sex has no moral value whatsoever outside of an individualised context. Only considering all the factors can it be said if it is "good", "bad" or somewhere in between.

I mostly hang around on the AVEN forum, not asexual Reddit, because the AVEN forum is much more critical of "attraction absolutism" (the view that "lack of sexual attraction" is the only valid definition of asexuality and that asexuality has nothing to do with not wanting to have sex... so, a very unsafe view for sex-averse people like myself). But still, even with my moderate views - disillusionment with sex positivity (thinking of it as very premature in a world of inequalities), abolitionist views on prostitution and porn, disgust with kink - I'm quite on the antisexual edge of the AVEN community. I personally think that there is an increased pressure on asexuals to "at least" be sex-positive in order not to appear as spoiling other people's fun, but that's a different issue. At least I am personally comofortable with being in the minority and so I don't subscribe to sex positivity (and despite this continue reproaching those who use "sex-positive" in the sense of "open to having sex", precisely because it's unsafe for sex-positive asexuals who aren't sex-favourable).

Anyway... that was a bit of an instoduction. Given my lack of pro-kink views, I was thinking about how "vanilla" has been made into almost an insult. And that's how I ran into some posts which I could largely applaud... about how a real decent man should never want to cause pain to their partner, and how "kink shaming is not nice!" has become just an excuse for misogyny and abuse. About how unsafe it is for those who are figuring themselves out when kink is being normalised to the extent that people are shamed for not wanting to engage in it. About porn promoting extreme sexual practices. Some women mentioned how hard it is to find men who don't ask women to enact BDSM scenes and instead want to have loving sex, aren't selfish in bed, don't take porn as their guide...

So, my question is: is it true? I simply don't know it, because I have never had sex, never been in a relationship. I'm asexual and sex-averse, I'm also autistic and genuinely don't know how to form romantic relationships... I used to regret this part to an extent, now I don't because I understand that I anyway could never feel comfortable in a relationships, even a fully nonsexual one (sex-including relationships are completely out of the question for me), with the amount of solitude I need. So, simply speaking, I have no experience. But I care about women who are being coerced to ignore their boundaries under the guise of "inclusivity".

I'm feeling really hopeless, being in the "I'm going to die alone" kind of state of mind, even when I know that you can live a satisfying life and rely purely on friendships. With that being said, I still crave love, obviously – without sex, but is there a chance to find someone as a sex-negative and sex-repulsed person? Do you have a significant other? If so, how does it look like?

I absolutely hate the feeling that in some sense I want to “take” something from women as a biological drive. Lust absolutely disgusts me, the problem is that I have it, it almost seems like lust is a demon that lives inside every man, even semen retention or waiting until marriage don’t do much, you are still waiting to use someone’s body for your pleasure which is by nature carnal and animalistic no matter how you like to frame it. I kinda feel bad for even desiring such carnal act that by default creates power dynamics. A sexless society with artificial insemination would be the first step to a utopian society. The problem is that I ask myself why nature or God did it that way, why is the act of continuing humanity tied to desire of control and hate and violence and basically every negative thing you could think of.

Even if guys do semen retention, to reproduce naturally they would still have to engage in the act of penetrative sex with women, perhaps the real fall from grace in the Bible is the separation of genders, no matter how you say it, sex is penetrating someone else, even if the person is brainwashed by society to let you sleep with them in exchange of feeling the fake love and attention that society sold to the masses, if that’s not proof that the world is a prison planet than I don’t know what is

I just want to get this off my chest. The example that pushed me to finally post is niche and kind of dumb, but the point stands, it's one example out of way too many.

I was watching YouTube animations of the two robots from Portal 2 going on random adventures. Most of these are wholesome, basically just about the robots being friends. Then out of nowhere one switches to a joke about the robots trying to have sex. These robots aren't human looking, seem more like siblings or friends in how that act in the game, and don't have a gender.

Why add that? It's unrelated to everything else in the video. It's 1984 style subtle propaganda and it's everywhere not only in this random youtube video, you can't escape it. This is a video about robots, how am I supposed to see that coming?

Why does so much random media do this? Is it really that hard to not sexualize completely unrelated, innocent things? I notice it constantly.

PS: resisting carnal desires is what seperates humans from animals, we are the only ones who willingly chose to disobey instinct and look at us compared to animals

This is not gonna make a lot of sense. I’m just upset as fuck and i don’t know who to tell it to. As a sex-repulsed ace, i do like the concept of romance and love between a pair that is pure and long-lasting like fucking swans but that can never happen and will always be rare because we as as society are so obsessed with sex that we can’t ever envision romance as exciting on its own or even as something that exists on its own without immediately being linked to sex and sexuality.
I just wish romance was real and i wish we had a way of exploring romance without there always being sex. Everyone can imagine a loveless/non-romantic relationship where there is sex (one-night stands/friends with benefits) but do we even have a concept of a purely romantic relationship without sex that isn’t just limited to niche communities? I think that proves where proof is not needed that people just view romance as something that happens pre-sex or just a weird mental foreplay for the leading main event that is sex. Not something that holds up or has any meaning on its own. And i hate it. I hate it because sex is already painted as something full of power dynamics and if romance is just introduction to it, i feel like it just robs romance of all its meaning and ruined it. I believe if sex didn’t exist, romance would have actually been something fun and enjoyable and not viewed as a sort of chore or transaction you do to get access to sex.

I'm down to make one if there isn't one already but if I did would I be able to send the link to it in here?

"submissive" men who are into femdom will always make me feel uncomfortable because they're still reinforcing patriarchal sex in a way. especially on how they dehumanize women as "mommies" and praise their feet LOL thats still objectifying. i don't get how some "dominatrix" women think that their job is empowering and "breaking" patriarchal norms when literally most men who are into femdom only like it because they are fond of the idea into submitting to someone "inferior" (aka a woman). in a patriarchal society where women's oppression is fundamentally sex based, all forms of heterosexual sex is oppressive (EVEN if the woman is "dom" or has a strap on because in the end, the male gets what he wants anyways, lol) because it is shaped by historical inequalities between men and women.

Looking into methods to suppress/eliminate my libido, currently, the only option I've identified that does not come with huge health risks/mutilation while being somewhat effective is starting on SSRIs or TCAs.

Wondering if anyone on this sub had found other methods that work well for them.

Continuing the theme of my previous post, I also wanted to talk about the manipulations in articles about the alleged "benefits of sex." However, looking through the archives of the old "Antisexual Stronghold" website, this topic was already addressed in the FAQ. Therefore, I decided to simply translate their detailed answer to this question into English. So, here it is:

...

13. Q: But what about the articles that talk about the health benefits of sex?

A: All such articles that we have come across are built on several flawed techniques:

1. Unreliable sources. "Foreign experts have established," "Greek scientists have proven," etc. Neither the names of these scientists, the names of the scientific institutions, nor links to publications in scientific journals are specified (as a rule, no references are provided at all; judging by the texts of these articles, most of them are simply retellings of one another).

2. Incorrect research methodology. The research methodology is either not mentioned at all, or non-representative groups are chosen for analysis. For instance, groups that are too small, have obvious pathologies (this, in particular, is what the foundations of Freud's psychoanalytic theories are built upon, see below), or (the most frequent case) sexophiles are compared with sexophiles, rather than with people who practice celibacy or live an asexual lifestyle (not to mention staunch antisexuals).

3. Presenting effects as causes. This relates to the previous point: several groups of sexophiles are compared, and it is claimed that those who have sex less frequently have more health problems. From this, the conclusion is drawn that the latter is a consequence of the former. However, in reality, it is the other way around—those with poorer health have sex less often (but nevertheless, do it several times a week, so their lifestyle can in no way be called abstinence, let alone voluntary abstinence). Alternatively, they talk about various mental problems (frustrations, depressions, etc.) that arise during forced abstinence, and their disappearance when engaging in sex. Naturally, a drug addict high on drugs feels much better than an addict in withdrawal. But this testifies not to the benefits, but to the harm of drug addiction as such.

4. Presenting the narcotic properties of sex as healing ones. This relates to the previous point. This also includes claims that sex can relieve physical pain. Indeed, it can—just like morphine (the term "endorphins" itself means "endogenous morphines"), but pain relief is symptom management, not curing a disease. "And aspirin helps against cancer" (c) Strugatsky brothers. Besides, there are enough cases where sex does not relieve, but rather causes severe postcoital pain (headaches, in particular).

5. Incorrect comparison with physical exercise. In physical exercise, if practiced in a way that brings benefit rather than harm, the physical loads are metered, controlled, and smoothly increasing. During sex, they are erratic and almost unmanageable (the stronger the arousal—i.e., the "better" the sex is in the view of sexophiles—the more dangerous the picture is, primarily for the cardiovascular system, the load on which increases exponentially).

6. Presenting harm reduction as providing a benefit. This includes claims like "sex boosts immunity," etc. In reality, sex, being a destructive impact on the body, activates defense mechanisms designed to reduce the harm from this impact. It's just that the final balance, even in the best-case scenario, will be zero, and more often negative (i.e., the harm will decrease, but not to zero). Arguments in this category are similar to the thesis: "A stab with a dirty shiv is very beneficial. Blood flow to the affected area increases, and the immune system is activated. Due to blood loss, blood pressure drops, and the hematopoietic function is activated. The rise in temperature in the affected area simultaneously contributes to the death of microbes..."

7. Focusing on factors that are not specific to sex. "A good mood is good for health, sex improves mood -> sex is good for health." Obviously, such "logic" is applicable to any drug, and there are plenty of much more reliable and safer ways to improve one's mood. Particularly remarkable in this series is the thesis that "not just any sex is beneficial, but only with a loved one." That is, it is openly admitted that there is no benefit in sex itself, and it is all about the emotional state. This thesis is completely analogous to the statement, "not just any madness is beneficial, but only megalomania (because it feels nice to feel great)." Alternatively, when talking about the benefits of sex, they actually mean the benefits of a massage.

8. Substituting health benefits with benefits for sex itself. Indeed, for a man to maintain potency in old age, he must have sex regularly—but this is not needed for anything other than the sex itself. This is analogous to the thesis: "scabies is very beneficial—after all, the more you scratch, the more you want to."

...

P.s. It is also recommended to read my previous post, as they are related.

People have always been told that oral sex is safe. It is not safe. You know how many nasty shit you can get? Including throat cancer. Yes. Even if oral sex were safe, you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to suck a dick. YUCK! Let alone swallowing. Yet, so many women have been fed this lie that swallowing semen has amazing health benefits. This is a lie made up by men and fed to women.

Sometimes I get disgusted when I see people having sex online like or in a movie or show especially if they do it with multiple people I just get disgusted I would not want to do that with that many people. I just get so disgusted.

Does anyone know of any good chat sites where you can find and meet like minded people who are antisex? I know the people into this are a minority but figured I'd ask

I don’t like how virgins are constantly shamed and made fun of in society. I’m a virgin and especially since I’m a guy people used to make fun of me or clown me cause I’m a virgin. I don’t wanna have sex cuz I don’t want stds and I’m religious but our society is so lustful it glorifies sex in everything. Guys that don’t get sex are shamed and guys that get a lot of sex are respected I don’t like it.