r/antisex

i don't know if yall have been to the celibacy sub, but the amount of non celibate men who post butthurt comments under posts made by women, either practicing or considering celibacy is hilarious.

There was one post where a woman was talking about her own self growth, coming to terms with herself, and one comment was a married guy, telling her she had to avoid relationships alltogeher because men's PP, men's feelings get hurt, men view sex as the culprit for a relationship, yadayada.
This is not at all what her post was about, and doesn't enlighten her as to whether celibacy is the right choice for her. How is this comment even relevant ??

Not to mention it's false. Many couples aren't having sex. Just because as they grow older, most people let themselves go, and love evolves from physical to a more understated, more stable form of "love". people also don't have time or don't feel like they have the libido because they're trapped between children, obligations, responsibility, work, etc... so many things can happen in someone's life, and that's not always an indication as to whether the relationship is doing well if people aren't having sex. And some people are okay with their partner being abstinent if they share the same religious or spiritual beliefs.

>"If you stay celibate, i strongly urge you to not start a relationship..." "Men generally want a sexual relationship as a gage to how well the entire relationship is going in its entirety. If you feel like you can't or don't have a desire to express yourself as such then in my opinion it is better to go it alone without added expectations."

The person who made this statement isn't even celibate since their profile clearly states they're married.

Married man who have nothing to do with celibacy, don't even practice it, feeling threatened by a post by a random woman who conteplates celibacy as an option ? make it make sense.
There are other passive agressive comments by men under these posts all the time whenever a woman makes a post. It's very enlightening how as soon as you decenter males and don't let them use you for their sexual gratification, some of them feel as though it's an attack on them.

Am I the only one that can't comprehend that humans have a sexual side? I mean, I can logically comprehend that, but on some level in my brain it just feels impossible...

Im anti-sex and anti-romance as a girl who is physicaly attractive.
So i grew up with boys, i have now mostly the same interest as them. Im unfortnunatly funny, smart, like very goated and attractive so they automaticly want me or they are hidding it badly and it ruins friendship cause i hate being romatized and sexualized. Anyone else like me ?(sry my english)

Both misogyny and misandry are bad, but they’re not equally bad, since the latter has never existed nor been enforced on the same scale or with the same severity. In a patriarchal society, misogyny has more systemic power than misandry because the culture itself is not structured in a way that favors misandry. Sure, feminism exists, and some men now face consequences they previously could avoid, but that’s closer to vigilantism or social backlash than institutional power, isn’t it?

There are widespread misogynistic sexual practices, but barely any misandrist ones, because the scale of bodily harm, social conditioning, and systemic oppression simply isn’t comparable.

I hate all sex, but some forms of sex disgust me more than others because, in addition to the exchange of unhygienic bodily fluids, there is often degradation and sometimes even physical abuse involved. If we are talking about mainstream PIV sex here, even the material consequences are not equal. In this context, women are often the ones violated (and forced to bear the risk of being parasitized by a fetus), while men are the violators. That’s why we speak about misogyny.

By contrast, misandry is so frequently used as a whataboutist deflection by antifeminists to derail conversations about misogyny rather than arising from any genuine structural oppression. For that reason, especially if we are talking about our disgust toward sex, misogyny is the more relevant analytical framework for understanding what many people here are expressing.

This vocabulary also allows men to articulate their discomfort, disgust, shame and guilt with sex without redirecting the conversation into claims of equivalent victimization. You have standards and morals like the rest of us do — why should that be a bad thing?

Somebody has probably said it before but yeah.. I can't wrap my head around the fact that there are women willingly letting a man penetrate them and even put their disgusting fucking semen inside their vagina. I don't care that its whats keeping the human race alive. Sex is fucking disgusting and literally humiliating for women. Its not just the act but also the fact that men who sleep around are celebrated while women who sleep around are seen as whores who deserve to die alone and the entire reason is so because being penetrated is humiliating. You're letting someone take over you and giving them all the power, its fucking patriarchal. Its honestly sad to see that women have been brainwashed and have convinced themselves its what they want. On top of that so many women don't even get an "orgasm" which is why the orgasm gap exists, imagine getting shamed for sleeping around while also rarely experiencing an orgasm. I wonder why do women even get into random hookups/have sex in general. Is it to feel loved or be desired? Its so depressing to think.

I just came across this sub. People talked about how sex is disgusting, humiliating etc. In which, they are not wrong.

But I find that some parts are exagerrated.

No, I wont willingly give you STD or have sex with someone that has an STD, because its life threatening for both.

No, people will not treat womans who had sex with a man as a whore who deserves to die. (Atleast for me. Those who say that are the most shitty person in history)

No, Womans who willingly have sex with a man (Consent) to have a child and continue their bloodlines do not suffer any mental illness.

And no, I dont think that the majority of humanity will have sex with a woman then kill her right after. Why would he kill someone for having sex with?

The problem is that some people say that womans who are willingly in a heterosexual relationship are crazy who needs to stop since every man is evil and only wants their body.

Because, not every man is evil and that the fact that the woman that did the opposite of your choice does not mean she deserves to be called names.

I understand that some people find sex disgusting. (Which it is since I cannot imagine myself being penetrated). But going out to call people "crazy" for having a relationship with a man is not fair.

I know im gonna get downvoted, but I atleast emptied my mind on this sub. You are free to debate me in the comments because im curious about why some people exagerate about sex.

Maybe it’s because I’m asexual and I’ve been thinking for a while I could be autistic (obviously I can’t self diagnose though I do identify with certain traits) but I don’t understand at all the urge straight women have to date in general like to me that is on the same level as drinking my own vomit I’ve seen too many depraved and disgusting statistics on line it would be like playing Russian roulette

TW: violent sex, hospital and injuries.
Hopefully it's allowed for me to give it as a source.
What the fuck.

https://www.reddit.com/r/antikinkkink/comments/1tf2nk6/violent_sex_as_a_status_symbol/

Sometimes I wish that dating was just about romance and the innocence of falling in love instead of the sex centered ritual it’s become today. I just find it so gross and it makes me so angry. I hate this culture of the third date being the necessary hookup date or this idea that sexual compatibility is the top priority in a relationship. It’s so sad too because when I look at a lot of the couples I meet I’ve realize that a lot of of them don’t have really that deep of a connection, they don’t make each other laugh and honestly don’t even seem that interested in one another as people. A lot of relationships seem so empty. I wish people would just go on cute little dates, hold hands and giggle.

Another thing is that as women we’ve really just done ourselves dirty by participating in this culture. Men use sex as a weapon to control, use and shame us. We genuinely get nothing out of booking up with guys. NOTHING. Maybe five minutes of pleasure but let’s be real most of the time that isn’t happening. Not to be cringe but I think in the past when people dated more innocently they were a lot more earnest and genuine with one another because they weren’t so used to getting this primal but unearned instant gratification without a long period of emotional build up.

I’m seeing a lot of post of women saying that male penises are disgusting terrible reproduction organs and Fine you know that’s your opinion

As a gay man who has no interest in women I think the reproduction organs of a girl are absolutely unsettling and horrifying

To imagine what it’s made for to bring out life and when I was like 17 the school showed me a video of a baby head popping out of the vagina its like something out of a horror movie
It made me gag
It looks like a wound in the body like someone took a knife, jammed it in there and then pulled it out
And it’s kind of terrifying to think that it bleeds too

^ does this make me sexist to think like this
I seen girls literally be happy about men who want to cut off their own dicks

So I truly believe I have the right to this opinion

I mean, I hope I do I don’t see anything wrong about me not liking the girl anatomy

I’m being serious It’s such a childish mindset
Pretty body equals falling in love

the People who get googly eyes for other people who have nice bodies have a very childish mindset about love

You know what I like
I like communication I like knowing what they have in their heart mine and soul that’s what I like that’s not a childish mindset it’s the correct way to love

And people say oh you’re demisexual that’s ridiculous nonsense Why in the flipping flapjacks do I need a special word for the right way to love it’s the grown-up way the right way that everyone should learn and adapt to
Don’t get attracted to bodies that’s lust
Attraction should grow over time

Most people see eachother as transactions, you have this body, I have this body, we get together because of that. WEIRD. That's what matters to you? how you look to one another?

Sexuality is bad regardless if the society in which it exists is sexualized or pornified. Sex makes people extremely self centered and just plain weird and shallow.

Am I being too mean?

Title typo: as A piece of meat

Bodily fluids, in general, and semen, in particular, are beyond disgusting. Imagine how fucked up in the head you must be to let semen contaminate you, let a dirty dick cum in you, and get ravaged by childbirth. And I don't care that most people do that, when you think about it, it's beyond horrifying. Yuck. I've always been disgusted by semen. I have to admit that when I talk to other married women, when they open up, they admit that they're more or less disgusted by their dirty husbands' penises.

And i’m tired of people telling us it can.
Libfems trying to claim sexual revolution or gaslight themselves into thinking this is okay is making it worse.

I think a lot of people are just disconnected or have some sort of sexual trauma they aren’t processing and using porn as a cope. just like some people who claim it’s empowering to reenact their sexual abuse with bdsm to not feel like victims. Reclaiming their abuse or trauma in a way. I believe a libfems have the same attitude wrt to porn. If they admited porn is a representation of women’s second class citizen status in society, then it would force them to realize they can never be truly liberated and that the act of sex in itself is an extension of women’s lower status. it‘s too much of a mindf*k (no pun intended). So they’d rather try to make it into something else to make the most out of an already messed up situation.

even on reddit there are subs where they trying to share « women friendly porn in response to all the claims that porn is unethical. I have a hard time thinking these aren’t bots, they sound like it.

Something that frustrates me in progressive spaces is the entitlement use of language when it comes to sexual desires and relating that to being an animal. This also exists in conservative spaces even if the inherent perspectives seem different, they really aren’t.

I see it, hear about it, read it practically everywhere. What differentiates other animals from human beings? It should be obvious and blatantly clear that the difference is massive, but for some reason when it comes to sexual behavior all common sense flies out the window.

The commonality between how both conservative and progressive people talk about these sexual tendencies waters down to excusing how violent sexuality is in its “nature” and who that applies to, men. I’ve heard it before, many others probably have too, that men specifically, being entirely different creatures that cannot fathom the concept of consent and non violent behavior when it comes to how they see sex. Progressive people think their views are different because they just accept how it is and normalize kinks (which majorly just tread the thin line between consent and rape) even though they hold up the same conservative view of the “inherent” power play when it comes to being dominant vs submissive (aka the one being degraded, usually associated with femininity).

This goes onto normalizing rape culture whether they want to accept it or not. How often do you hear about sex being something that women have to give to men because they can’t live without it unlike women who apparently cannot have the same level of sexual desire? Because I’ve heard that my whole life. The reality is this all an excuse to further degrade sex and the submissive group associated with the act. Morality, cognitive abilities, self awareness, all things that make up a human being are completely ignored to defend the disgusting viewpoint of sex and the continuation of normalizing inhumane treatment.

The common concept of masculinizing rape culture as if it’s a natural masculine tendency is widely accepted everywhere you look. It’s why being a victim of it is associated with femininity, the obvious is that men can be victims as well, just like women can be perpetrators, it’s just not as common because rape culture is highly masculinized and excused as something that’s naturally occurring and we just have to accept it. At that point you might as well believe rape is something natural and the concept of consent and the cognitive ability to see it as otherwise is inhumane.

People that aren’t interested in sex aren’t even acknowledged to exist yet they do, same with people that aren’t interested in reproducing, sometimes even naturally not being able to reproduce in the first place but that’s when unethical means to tread with obvious nature come into light, like IVF. How can I be convinced that this is a natural desire when those perspectives and naturally occurring experiences exist? It’s human greed, not nature. The world’s conviction of the desperation for sex and reproduction has been ingrained too deeply for the damage to be reversed. Seeing the obvious association with degradation and humility should be enough of a reason to not have any “natural” instinct to participate. The dehumanization of this belief to water down rape to nature is gonna result in an already existing downfall yet there’s always gonna be brainwashing to continue and accept your inherent worthless value despite your human ability to achieve more.

Are “happy couples” truly happy as long as they live in this kind of society? Is the conviction that a man’s sexual desire is uncontrollable and needs letting out whether the other person is willing to participate or not healthy? Is the conviction that women don’t have a sexual desire to begin with but have to put up with a sociality engrained humiliating role because she’s only worth her womb healthy?

This isn’t even all that different when it comes to non heterosexual relationships either, one is gonna be feminized whether they like it or not and therefore degraded, the other will have the power and their relationship will water down to their roles in the bedroom. The unacceptance of those relationships comes from the widely agreed upon humiliating relation to femininity, the sheer sexualization of it all is what causes the disdain, it’s all connected and it’ll always be connected, it’s why the most unfathomable relationships to exist are ones between two women, the most insulting role that can be assigned. No amount of “progression” will erase the damage when it’s not all that different from tradition. The desperation to sell you the idea that you as a human being have one and only use, belittling you into a senseless creature without an individual mind.

Winston fantasizes about raping Julia before they fall in love. And this is brushed off basically. The anti-sex league (of which the subreddit picture is based on btw) is criticized because its against pleasure or something. (its to make sure you can only feel happiness when directed at the party but still sex is not that big of a deal)

The logic is "Its sexual repression! You need to get that energy out somewhere!". Imagine being such a weakling that you can't control any of your urges. God I hate allosexuals.

ALSO WHY IS THERE SO MUCH POINTLESS SEX IN THE BOOK OHH MY GOD BRO ITS JUST SMUT AT THIS POINT ORWELL IS A FILTHY GOONER

I can't believe I used to think this book was profound. The things it says about authoritarianism are obvious and I don't see its purpose. The subreddit picture is actually ironically tough because of this

We are in some sort of second sexual revolution where everything is full of "healthy sex" propaganda.

Everyone's mouth are full of "learning what your partner likes", "being open for experimentation", "focusing on eachother's pleasure", etc. People are more than ever encouraged to leave their partners if their sex is unsatisfying. They are basically naming sex as no. 1 priority for partnership at all, with all other things being just cherry on top. Sex is most powerful center of worship today with its defenders everywhere. "Sexual therapists" are flourishing, people openly talking about it at work, in public, on news. It is bizzare how it got subtly implemented into daily reality and what is even more sad is that people could not wait for it to finally happen and they enjoy it.

People worship and try to culturalize perversion and sex in more open way than ever. "Healthy sexual life" became new idol, new filler word that already borders on a cliche. People sound extremely generic when they talk about it. Just search your national or local subreddits, forums, facebook groups or whatever and you'll find hundreds of sex-related posts with hundreds of comments, each more cliche than other. Everyone sound exactly like sex-therapists, with their superficial moral highness and entitlement.

It is somewhat a consequence of social media trends spreading where this kind of "feel-good sexual psychology" boomed and was served to people, which they embraced with urgency, as every social approval of animalistic nature is embraced.

What bothers me is that these people are perceived as top of the culture and society now.

They have power and the majority is with them. They somehow balance this animalistic nature and "normal appearance" with machiavellian-like split and ability. It's almost terrifying to look them and listen to them as they try to unite the moral highness and peace with the lowest of the low.

And you will get cancelled if you oppose it. You will be socially excluded through naming, shaming, accusations of being "incel", "radicalist", "mentally ill", etc.

It's terrifying how peaceful they are and how society accepts these absolutely horrendous narratives and treats them as normal.

People nowdays can talk about "kinks" or their sex life in very open and agressive way and next day they go to work at local school, news TV, bakery...

It terrifies me.

Just came from r/NoahGetTheBoat about some man that murdered a child and I always think to myself in these situations what would compel someone to HURT a baby? What gives them the right?

Same with rape. Why do these people feel no shame? Why do they feel so entitled to go on with something with that?

As fucked up as it is, it is because of desire. A sick, nasty desire.

With how many excuses people come up with as to why they just CAN’T not have sex, I wonder what would these people do if they couldn’t get any? Would they get angry at the object of their desire? Yeah, we see this with incels. Would they fantasize about raping someone? Would they do it?

I know most people say no they wouldn’t, but you don’t know what you would do if you were at the very bottom. Same with cannibalism when people are starving. Same with feeding your kids to the wolves when they attack.

I think in the West especially, people are socialized so well into what is and isn’t appropriate that they lose these desires or choose not to act on them out of fear.

That’s why it pisses me off with how lax people are about sex. How accepting people are about it. I think that’s dangerous. And I just am tired of people acting like it isn’t. Why is this the one thing people get a pass on in civilized society?

As someone that’s not even for procreation, I wish we could get rid of it altogether.