Should I leave my bf of 6 yrs because of microcheating?
Problem/Goal: i’m not sure on what to do anymore. should i keep holding on and continue trying to talk it out with him, or leave?
Context: A year ago, he posted an Instagram Note with the song Give Me a Sign. He made it visible only to his Close Friends, and I wasn’t on that list, so I couldn’t see it. I only found out because I opened his phone.
At first, I ignored it. But the next day, I had this feeling that something was off, so I opened his phone again. I saw another Note he had shared, this time with the song One Number Away. Again, it was hidden from me.
I went through his Close Friends list and saw the girl there (the girl i told him i was not comfortable with). he also have a candid picture of her saved on his phone. She’s his friend and classmate. At first, I didn’t think much of it because I knew they were friends. He also sometimes picks her up because their dorm is right by the road, so it’s too much for him to do so. I tried not to mind that either.
Eventually, we talked about everything after I found out about the Notes. He made it clear that he only shared those songs because he liked them and that the girl I was concerned about was just a friend—nothing more. I didn’t fully trust him, but I wanted to fix things, so we tried to work through it.
Now, a year later, I’ve found out that the same girl still keeps asking him to pick her up, and he shows up every single time. Whenever she asks, he somehow finds the time to go get her. I confronted him about it, and he gave me the same explanation: she’s just a friend, and their dorm is right by the highway anyway.
But honestly, I’m getting so tired.
For an entire year, I’ve been carrying this feeling of doubt and overthinking. I’ve tried to understand, trust, and move past it because I genuinely want our relationship to work. But I feel like the least he could do is help me feel secure instead of making me feel like I’m dealing with this uncertainty alone.
And I’m tired in more ways than just emotionally.
I’ve already spent so much money supporting him. He went back to studying . His parents pay for his tuition and give him a small amount for his allowance, while I take care of most of the rest—apartment, food, extra allowance, shower and personal essentials, clothes, school projects, and other things he needs. I don’t bring these things up to make him feel indebted to me, but I can’t deny that it’s exhausting to constantly give so much, especially when I’m already emotionally drained.
I’m employed and doing my best to support both of us, but I’m reaching a point where I feel completely worn out.
I don’t want to keep questioning every little thing. I don’t want to keep feeling jealous, insecure, or paranoid.
I want to trust him. but, I’m also tired now. idk if i’m just overreacting, or if i’m in the right situation to leave?
Previous Attempts: asked him for 3 months call off, he doesn’t agree. asked him to block the girl once, he deleted his instagram account and uninstalled the app. confronted him about the pick-up-drop-off thing, he said it meant nothing. then i just found out he keeps deleting their convo now.