Beginning to hate my own project after being forced to Masters out.
So some context.
I started my PhD in Feb 2024. Bright eyes and really excited. However in the intervening years I've been struggling with a currently undiagnosed illness affecting my eyes and skin. It's caused me to lose a lot of sleep and a lot of time to work, and has resulted in me being so behind that I've been forced to Masters out.
The decision has basically destroyed me and any interest in my work. I feel depressed and have begun to hate the work I've done. I didn't even manage to get the part of the project that I signed onto it for initially, I've been mired in the runup work to that.
I hate being in my own PhD office as my lab mate keeps talking to my supervisors about the work they're doing and how cool it all is. Makes me feel like I don't belong here and that I've failed.
Does anyone else have experience with this? Any advice for how to keep going with this? I've already got a Masters, a second one just feels superfluous, and I feel so close to just throwing the towel in.
On the other hand, ive applied for so many jobs since funding was cut and heard nothing back from any. I'm running out of time to find a job and also get this work submitted as my stipend has been cut. I'm stressed about having no job, and stressed about having wasted the last 2+ years of my life.