r/PhD

Soy estudiante de farmacia y, antes de empezar la universidad, me interesaba hacer un doctorado.

Me gusta la idea de descubrir cosas y, sobre todo, contribuir a la sociedad.

Pero ahora creo que me presiono demasiado para sacar buenas notas, y a veces no lo consigo y me desanimo. Así que no sé si mi razón para querer hacer un doctorado sigue siendo válida. ¡Por eso os pregunto!

Muchas gracias.

¡Y espero que algún día pueda publicar una foto de una rana aquí en este subreddit y decir que he cumplido mi deseo!

Hello everyone, I’m doing a PhD in basic neuroscience, and lately I feel like I’m completely spiraling.

I’ve been reading a ton of papers and trying to write more recently. I used to follow my interests and then try really hard to do things well once I care about them. Now my PI has really high expectations for me, and recently the pressure has been intense. I know, on some level, he wants me to produce more because it would help my career too. Rationally, I get that. Emotionally, though? I’m cooked.

The pressure has been building for a while, and I think I’ve finally hit full burnout.

The most obvious problem is I’ve been reading papers, but I can’t retain anything anymore. I already use Zotero to organize everything, and my library is actually pretty neat. But somehow I still only remember the last paper I looked at. If I want to recall anything, I have to go back into Zotero, click through my tags, reopen the papers, and basically re-read them. And if I spend more than like 30 minutes reading, it feels like all the information just slides through my brain like it’s on a water slide. Nothing sticks. RIP.

That makes me even more anxious, because it feels like I’m endlessly skimming and forgetting.

Then I started seeing all these people on YouTube and X talking about tools that help you discover links between papers, build knowledge graphs, organize evidence, and “revolutionize” your research workflow. So naturally, instead of calmly doing my work like a normal person, I launched myself into a whole new side quest.

At this point, I honestly don’t even know whether using tools to help with research was the beginning of my downfall.

I tried NotebookLM because everyone and their dog was hyping it up. It was okay for organizing documents and making mind maps, but the summaries felt way too shallow for the kind of deep reading I need. Then I tried GPT. It could give me some brief summaries with citations, but again, not enough depth. Then I asked it to recommend research tools for neuroscience, and it suggested NoahAI. I actually tried it, and to be fair, it was pretty good at giving me more detailed reports from a med research angle, and it even helped me make mechanism diagrams for free. It saved me a lot of time. But the reports still weren’t quite in proper academic language, so I had to keep refining prompts and stitching things together myself.

So I tried to use Claude plus skills for writing.

And here’s the most cursed part of this whole saga: after all of that, I realized I completely lost the plot.

I spent way more time exploring tools and “optimizing my workflow” than actually thinking about my research. My ADHD absolutely went feral here. I got addicted to the feeling of being efficient instead of actually being effective.

Now I’ve gotten so used to the speed and instant output from AI tools that I barely want to do anything manually anymore. Intellectually, I know this is bad. AI is supposed to be a tool for researchers, but somehow I became the tool. I’m lowkey ashamed of myself. If I keep going like this, I’m genuinely scared I’m going to end up accomplishing nothing.

BUT I don’t wanna do anything now. My brain just wants to alt+F4 out of reality.

Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you get out of it?

Honestly, I still want the PhD. I do want to finish. But right now I feel stuck and I don’t know what to do. My friend keeps telling me I should talk to my PI, and they’re probably right, but I’ve been procrastinating that too.

I just need to yell into the void. Not looking for advice, but wouldn't say no to some peer support.

It's the last year of my PhD, and I just want to hide, stop and burn my thesis.

I feel dumb. Constantly.
I am just ashamed of everything I do.
I try so hard, and still there are always mistakes.
I am surrounded by intelligent people, and I feel like I'm the only muppet in a movie otherwise full of Hollywood stars.

I don't want to talk about this with my colleagues or supervisors because I know it will come off as needy or me fishing for sympathy and praise, but I genuinely question whether I am cut out for this. And I am terrified that people around me also think so. I've published three articles, and I feel ashamed of all of them.

I am exhausted. My kid isn't sleeping and therefore I'm not sleeping, just a while ago I was sick for five weeks with a daycare plague turned into pneumonia, and one professor made a nasty comment about me being away too much.

This feels like a game I lost three rounds ago.

I'm exhausted and currently on sick leave, since the last couple of months I had a hard time (1st year PhD student).

I'm in a small institute with no peers to talk to, but I want to change things for myself, so I've read a lot on this sub about different approaches for structures that enable better self-organization and productivity during the PhD, as many approaches have been posted here (time-boxing, pomodoro, project management tools, etc.).

Unfortunately I have an ADHD-Brain that mostly responds to urgency and I have a hard applying these techniques in the long run, because my brain detests structure and routine, even though it helps me a lot, if I manage to stick to it.

I'm currently trying medication, but even though the meds helped me "perform" better, they eventually just pushed me further into Burnout, because I kept trying harder without working on the underlying structures to change my situation.

I was wondering if there are some fellow neurospicy people here with unhinged ideas on how to navigate this constant urge to create structure, just to abandon it after a short period of time.

Maybe someone here figured something out that does not fit the typical advice you commonly read?

Unfortonately I have a very absent advisor that does not give me structure at all, thats why I feel like I need to provide it completely for myself (which I'm not good at🥲).

After my sick leave, I'm planning on asking for more structure in the supervision as well, like milestones and regular meetings, but I'm ashamed of how little I got done in the last months and not sure about telling him about my diagnosis.

Sorry if this turned out as a chaotic read, my brain is foggy and I couldn't find better words.

I would love to hear from your experiences, thank you in advance! 😊

I’m entering my fifth month of a PhD in molecular biology, and lately I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the pessimism around me. So far, I’m doing well in the program and reasonably well in research given how early it is. I also have a young, supportive, involved mentor. But constantly hearing other students and faculty talk about the terrible job market, the “uselessness” of PhDs, and how hopeless academia is has been really discouraging. Not that I blame anyone for complaining, because it doesn't seem like they're wrong.

I really do love science and academia, but I'm seeing the path beyond the PhD as overly cutthroat, and work-life balance is sacrificed in order to succeed. I’d say I'm ambitious and productive (I’ve written multiple papers since starting, one published and others under review), and I care about what I do, but I also care about maintaining boundaries and having a life outside work. I’ve left "prestigious" environments before because they crossed reasonable work/life boundaries. I wanted a future that includes both a fulfilling career and eventually a family, and maybe that was just me being naive (especially as a woman). Right now, everything past this point just seems impossible without major sacrifices.

My mentor, despite being kind and supportive, also adds pressure regarding my future. He frequently talks about how “nobody wants to do science anymore” and often frames things as “when you become a PI, you’ll need to know X and Y.” I did express interest in academia during interviews, but now I feel somewhat locked into that expectation. He brags about me to everyone he meets, which I appreciate but also he always mentions me 'wanting to be a PI'. Recently he even said my generation is “the hope” for the lab and our subfield, which honestly felt overwhelming. I worry that if he knew how I'm feeling, he'd turn against me.

I'm not even really sure what advice I'm asking for but I've always been someone who needed a clear direction, and the fact that I can't figure out a future that fits both my career and personal goals has been on my mind every single day. I don't have doubts that I can do this, but I am having doubts about what the point of doing this is. I can't see my way forward. Anyway thank you for reading guys I appreciate any advice

I'm autistic so I generally overthink situations that involve me interacting with others. I'm in the social sciences.

I'm eager to start publishing early (in my first of 4 years). I've written some work recently which my supervisors seem happy with. It's not near ready for publication but I think it could be a useful contribution, eventually.

When it comes to publication, do I wait until my supervisors suggest I publish work I've shown them? I'm worried that if I tell them I want to try and publish something they'll tell me it's not good enough. Do I just submit and let them know if it's accepted (if it's work they haven't contributed to)?

Hey everyone, looking for some advice/perspective from people who've been through something similar.

I'm a rising second year PhD student in a biomedical program at a well ranked school. My advisor recently accepted a position at another, lower ranked institution and will be leaving within the next few months. I've been trying to find a new advisor whose research aligns with my interests, but I'm running into a wall because the 9 labs I'm most excited about either don't have funding to take on a new student right now or are at capacity.

Here's what I'm thinking as a doomsday scenario: I'm starting to wonder whether it makes more sense to withdraw and reapply for fall 2027, potentially to programs that are a better fit for where I want to take my research. My research interests are in a pretty niche quantitative field and although there are people doing that type of work at my current institution, as I said, they don’t have the ability to take on a student. There are stronger institutions doing the work that I am focused on and could apply to if it came to that. I truly hope it does not.

I know many may suggest following my advisor to his new institution but for a few different reasons, both personal and professional, I very much do not want to.

Has anyone withdrawn and reapplied after an advisor leaving situation? Did it hurt you long term? Would programs look at a reapplication negatively?

Any insights would be much appreciated — this all started on Monday so it has been a stressful week

[27M] Chemistry, UK

Just venting how I feel. Hoping for advice / others who relate!

I just submitted my thesis after a very very long 4 years.

I feel no different to when I was working on it. Actually I feel a bit sick even.

I still have my oral examination to go so maybe that’s it? The feeling of more to do?

I still feel the pain in my jaw from the stress of grinding my right side.

I still have the feeling of it not being enough.

Despite working so hard and compromising on things I thought I would never compromise on.

Anyone else share the same feeling after submission?

Hey folks!!

Just wondering if there are any international students here who’ve managed to get PhD studentships in the UK, especially through SGSAH or the AHRC Collaborative Doctoral Partnership (CDP).

I applied recently but got rejected, not even shortlisted for an interview, which honestly stings because my profile matched the project perfectly. I’ve got solid experience and a deep understanding of the topic, so I’m trying to figure out if this is just how competitive these schemes are, or if international applicants rarely get through.

Would love to hear from anyone who’s gotten one, or knows someone who has, just to get a sense of how realistic it is for international students to land these opportunities.

Also, any tips, strategies, or “insider wisdom” on how to strengthen applications for these kinds of studentships would be super helpful. I really want to pursue a PhD, and I feel like I’ve got the right background, but clearly I need to figure out how to make my applications stand out.

Hello everyone,

I don't know if some of you have gone through these feelings, and to be honest, I'm wanting to know if this can get better and what's needed to make it that way.

I successfully passed my defense (STEM) last month. However, the entire experience feels completely humiliating, crushing, and has destroyed all my self-esteem, and I don't seem to be able to function. From an external POV, the defense was okay; the jury said it was good enough and covered wide topics, although I struggled to answer some basic questions that were asked during the Q&A session. But from my personal perspective, I know I didn't produce anything useful, innovative, or interesting in the last three years; only three conference papers with no journal publications is the ultimate proof.

Im still in the same environment but as engineer and i feel like im projecting my insecurities and having hard time seeing the same people that are doing great extraordinary thesis and works, and overall i feel like I just want to be testing engineer and run away from the research area as i failed to produce and can't get over it.

Also I wonder if this is a matters of time or if this feelings will stand still all my life, especially after seeing other colleagues being proud of their thesis and defense. As for me, i have omitted this entire experience from my CV and i never mentioned doing a PhD since it's a failed one. So i dont know if some of you experienced this and managed to overcome it and turn their life around.

Every time I read a paper I am so bored. I can't tell if this is just what it's like or maybe I'm on the wrong path. Is anyone not bored when reading papers? Or is anyone fully fascinated sometimes? This issue is starting to hinder my research and I'm not sure what to do about it.

I'm 5 months into 9 months of ethnographic fieldwork in a city abroad--at the 7 month mark, I switch to a rural community as my field site (note, my language skills are elementary). I have a history of depression, and in the past two months, my mental health took a sharp decline. I'm doing tele-therapy but am really not feeling well. I told my advisor and he told me to push through. I said I was nervous to move from the city to a remote village for 3 months because I'll be cut off from people and my support system (no internet, poor service) and he said that could be a good thing because having too much access to our family and friends can prevent us from getting to know the people around us and integrating as an anthropologist.

I can't tell if I'm being gaslit, but if i'm too depressed to leave my room, I'm certainly not making small talk with strangers in a village where I don't speak the language. I really want to finish this fieldwork, but I am barely able to leave my apartment. It's left me feeling very unsupported and trapped here--as if leaving if I needed to isn't a possibility, because if it was, my advisor surely would have mentioned it when I asked for help.

Does anyone have any experience navigating mental health issues during fieldwork--or an advisor unsupportive of these issues?

I am based in Europe.

I am 3 years into my PhD and my supervisor sent me a string of messages that have left me genuinely shaken and scared for my future. I don't know how to feel or what to do anymore.

Some context: We are working on a paper. I was trying to help with proofreading the manuscript and made some mistakes. This was his written response to me:

- "That is f***ing correct!"
- "How can you be incompetent and convinced of knowing things?"
- "I am outright angry in case you have not recognised it yet."
- "Learn to be diligent. You have used up most of my patience."
- "Seriously, I am not sure if I want to continue carrying you to a PhD since you cannot walk there on your own... I really need to reconsider."
- "Do never ignore my orders anymore."

I stayed completely calm and professional throughout the entire exchange.

This is not a one-off bad day — he has always been like this. I have no co-supervisor and feel completely alone in this. My contract is coming up for renewal and I am terrified he will cut my funding over this.

Has anyone dealt with a supervisor like this? What did you do? Is this just the reality of academia or is this crossing a line? Should I be documenting this, and if so, who would I even take it to?

Any advice is genuinely appreciated.

Edit: I have this as a comment but it’s lost, I am adding it here:

Thank you everyone for your support! Before taking an action, I am collecting and documenting evidence as well as talking to the people.

As I could not reply to everyone, here are some answers some of you were looking for:

1. ⁠How can I be in a such a place for 3 years? Initially, everything seemed fine, I had regular meetings, however, things did change slowly, I was treated harshly over mistakes (formatting, not following his instructions exactly). I thought it was about being perfect. I used to look up to this PI because of his achievements. We have had some good technical discussions.
2. ⁠I got to know from other PhD students about his behavior, and I am planning to talk with more people in the department soon. There has been fights with the prof as well. Some students left already or were removed. I am not sure how they were treated or if they were given harsh treatment.
3. ⁠I wanted to quit many times but I did push through, I was being naïve I guess. I thought I would finish it by next year (2027). I understood that it was not going to happen as he is not letting people graduate. Some students are almost done but I think he didn't accept their thesis yet.
4. ⁠Changing supervisors? It is not so easy. The work I am doing is mainly related to his field. Quite a niche, at this stage even if I change to someone else I do not know how it will turn out for me. I want to be sure.
5. ⁠I am planning to take an action, but I need some time. This guy may be tenured or something. I WFH mostly, hence those messages, I have had similar kind of messages from him maybe less aggressive than this, I am saving all.
6. ⁠Some people in the comments talked about what I may have done to cause this escalation? It is true that I have made mistakes in the past (mostly in writing part I guess) and I have apologized immediately, took responsibility, felt guilty and corrected it. I am not perfect, I make a lot of mistakes. I try to correct them, too. Again, if I do not learn how will I progress? Sometimes it is really difficult for some people to follow exactly as said, I could not follow line by line.

I never thought it would this end way...

Again, thank you all so much!

December last year, I thought about giving up on my PhD. Mostly because I did a doctoral plan practice talk in my group's lab meeting and got thrashed so hard that I was like, "Wow, you're clearly not made for a PhD'. More so because the comments were actually constructive and helpful for the improvement of the project (i.e., things that I should properly consider and not brush aside).

I'm the kind of person who really chases excellence. Hence, no matter how shitty I felt about myself, I worked to the bone to get my doctoral plans up to standard. Three weeks before my Aptitude Colloquium (AC; aka Quals/QE/CE), I gave the talk on my doctoral plan at my dept's colloquium, and it turned out really good. I received much praise and that was the first time I felt like okay, I actually CAN get to where I needed to be, and that all the struggle was worth it.

But 1.5 weeks before my AC, I went through a minor operation for a chronic condition. My condition unexpectedly worsened and I had the worst side effects that I could imagine. Following that, on the day of my AC, I began to develop symptoms similar to a panic attack. I passed my AC really well, but I felt so horrible about life that I told my supervisors I wanted to quit my PhD. When they interrogated further, I said the PhD was a means to an end of a career I wanted to pursue, and that the price of my AC pass was too high. Did I really mean it? No, but they took it really seriously.

So, my supervisors chose to give up on me. They said they wouldn't want to supervise if I had to hold my nose to get through my PhD. Following medical checks, I realized I didn't have a panic attack but heart conditions. I came clean, but they said it didn't matter, because I thought about giving up for months. Anyway, they didn't like that I chose to work and ignore health issues. It hurt so much to realize that people whom I thought cared wouldn't care to listen that the reasons for wanting to give up changed, and didn't care to even ask if I felt okay about my condition. It hurt even more realizing that I had to come clean because I was pushed to a corner and asked to leave the lab. And it hurt because I told them about it before I had mentally processed the doctor's call, before I told my family and close friends, and before I even figured out what that meant.

As my condition worsens, I keep wishing they would let me stay, just so I can complete my PhD. So that if I live till 35, I would have at least gotten to pursue something I cared about; and if I lived till 65, I would know that in my most dire state in life, I chose what mattered. Instead, I am writing to every other professor in the field and begging for someone to take me in.

On a brighter note, I am glad they have given up on me. We live our lives too differently, and have too different takes on work and life. I don't know what they will choose if in the same position. It took being told "Your heart is not normal for your age" to really figure that all the thoughts about giving up were just mere thoughts that floated through my mind -- I never actually wanted to.

This question is mainly for my humanities folks here. I sometimes feel ashamed of my writing skills. I always thought I was a good writer until I started the program and got consistent comments about grammar rules I wasn’t aware of, clarity, vocabulary, etc. I suppose it’s improved a little over the years, but when I catch a glimpse of others’ writing, I feel so devolved. I’ve definitely seen worse, especially in social sciences departments, but I’d like to work to improve my writing this summer.

To be clear, I have no issues with the actual content. Just style. I always scored really high on standardized assessments, so I think the problem lies mainly in that final polishing step.

For those of you who consider yourselves really good writers, what are some steps you took toward developing those skills? Any books, classes, exercises, etc.?

This is a rant but I’ve gotta just let it out here. This year 25-26 was absolutely brutal and not just for me. There was a collective exhaustion on campus, especially during the spring semester. The funding cuts, the AI invasion, the constant political and economic threats, and for whatever reason, multiple people experiencing crisis level family and personal illnesses. This is on top of the usual stressors that happen in a phd program. I’m very passionate about what I am researching. I love to write, read, explore, and apply what I’ve learned for building solutions. That’s why I haven’t quit. But the real life shit, seeing other students get their programs shut down, leaving to avoid dealing with the bs of ICE and immigration, takes its toll. I’ve never liked conferences or the over emphasis on publishing quantity, but it’s becoming unbearable because everything is centered around how we can do this or that thing with AI. It’s even stolen some of the joy of writing research because of the obvious AI written articles I see circulating. I lead a grad student org (and serve on a committee for another) and recruitment is struggling, reasonably so. People can’t afford to travel to costly conferences on a phd salary when they have to wait at least a month to get the money back. They don’t have the mental energy to hold an e-board or committee role. If I wasn’t about to enter my final year, I’m not sure if I’d have it in me to go on. 

Anybody else? (rant end lol)

I was here feeling I was doing great! A couple of publications and a few on the way! I guess I just learned how behind I actually am! For some reason I felt like my cohort was still in the "learning how the research publication process actually works" phase. For some, perhaps ego-driven, reason I thought I was so far ahead of my cohort in terms of research progress and accomplishments. Boy was I wrong! I peeped their professional webpages, and I see a huge list of publications! These are people who constantly confide in me how unqualified they feel and how behind they feel in the program! Legit these folks have first author publications in top journals! Nobody told me about this! I feel like everyone is just so silent about what they are working on. I guess I felt like they were just working on classes, exploring research topics, but nowhere near publishing. Boy was I wrong. Where did you have all that time to publish whole ass articles?? Aren't you still taking classes? Weren't we just in our research methods class and you asked that question about how the peer review process works?? I am awe of them. They are great! But this definitely caught me a bit off guard, telling me how much I really do need to actually pick up the pace. Has anyone else encountered this feeling before?

I spent a stupid amount of time thinking I had some discipline problem during my PhD.

Every week I’d do the same thing. Make a schedule, convince myself THIS is the week I finally become organized, clean my desk, make coffee like I’m about to write the greatest literature review in human history… then somehow end up mentally exhausted before I even properly started working.

The weirdest part is I actually wanted to work. That’s what confused me.

I cared about the research. I’d feel guilty the whole day for not doing enough. But the second something became mentally difficult my brain would immediately start looking for an escape route.

I’d read half a paragraph, realize I didn’t fully understand something, then suddenly I’m checking email, opening random tabs, scrolling Reddit for no reason, staring into the fridge like there’s gonna be answers in there.

Even cleaning my room starts feeling deeply important the second there’s a difficult paper open in front of me.

And after a while I genuinely couldn’t tell if I lacked discipline or if my brain just got too used to constant distraction to tolerate how slow and uncomfortable PhD work actually is.

Because some days I’ll spend 4 hours stuck on one problem and leave even more confused than when I started. Sitting with that feeling without escaping into easier stimulation feels weirdly hard now.

Lately I’ve mostly been trying to stop instantly switching away the second my brain feels resistance. Not doing it perfectly at all honestly. Some days are still a complete mess.

But I have noticed that on days where my attention feels less scattered, the work itself feels way less impossible too.

Does other PhD people relate to this or am I just frying my attention span at this point.

Tagging this as personal advice because I'm pretty sure this has to do with me and not my environment/research.

I started out pretty okay. I could think, I could plan, I was creative, I could persevere; it was hard but I could do it. Then within the past year I've just slid off the deep end. My brain feels like pudding. I can't do anything outside of the most rote tasks. My PI has to constantly ask me to restate my thoughts because anything that comes out of my mouth is nonsense, even if I've taken the time to think it through. I can barely get out of bed, can't clean my apartment, get into lab hours late, and find it nearly impossible to get anything done without a looming deadline.

I'm just so TIRED. These past 5 years feel like they've wrung me out into a husk. I've done all the right things to get help: I see a therapist and I'm on multiple antidepressants after lots of trial and error. But it isn't enough. My defense date is roughly set for March but I genuinely don't think I can make it, and even if I do I won't have the ability to answer any questions during the closed door session.

I don't know what to do anymore outside of continuing to limp along like I have been, but I really don't know how long I can do it. I need someone to say that they had a low like this but they made it through, if at all possible, because I can't convince myself of that anymore.