u/Cautious-Cattle-1696

So recently I’ve been having very bad anxiety for just about anything happening at any given time.
—Well this anxiety has also come with these “episodes” I don’t want to call them panic attacks if that’s not what they are but from what I know about panic attacks they seem similar.

They start off with me feeling that rush of anxiety, then I feel a pit in my stomach and sometimes feel sick, then I start having a hard time breathing, sitting still, and typing I’m trying not to cry.
— The reason I’m not quite sure if they are panic attacks is because I don’t cry most times.

My question for everyone reading this is does this seem like a panic attack, and if not what does it seem like to you?

Recently I’ve been literally absorbed by sadness and anxiety to the point where I can barely sleep. The issue is I am a very extroverted person and I’m very “bubbly” so I always keep a happy persona on around those around me. And the few people I’ve tried to share my situation with haven’t taken it seriously. I’ve also tried to talk to my mom about it but she thinks it’s just because of family stuff, when it’s been happening since well before that.
— Another issue is even with a very out going personality I only really have two people close enough to me where they are willing to talk to me on the phone and out of school. Well these people have recently been very busy with their own personal lives — which is fine — however I haven’t had anyone to talk to about my feelings due to this fact, and I’m getting bad again.
—I’m not sure who I can talk to because I feel like I’m usually the friend people talk to about their issues not the other way around.

For some background knowledge I am a 15 year old girl I already have ADHD and I’m on my road to an autism diagnosis. I don’t want to claim I have something I don’t when it could just be my ADHD and I don’t mean to offend anyone.
—moving on
I have no issue with meeting new people or social situations, I do get a but nervous before public speaking but not very much. I don’t get nervous in the moment and i usually go home and get sad rather than feeling anxious when I’m in the social setting. But i get anxious over very small things like a change in someone’s tone, when I don’t get an immediate response, when I’m not receiving as much attention as I usually do, when i have to see certain people, and the list goes on. It’s gotten too the point where I’ve been sick and throwing up due to being anxious. I’m not sure if these are characteristics of another thing or if I’m just crazy, because I don’t want to “larp” anxiety. If you have any idea what this might be or if it is a type of anxiety let me know.

—side note can you have anxiety and not have social anxiety?

I have very bad anxiety. It makes me sick. I have it so bad I legit throw up sometimes out of fear of literally nothing. Recently I’ve been ticked off by everything. My boyfriend doesn’t text me back right away, I’m hyperventilating. I have to go to my dad’s house I’m sobbing. I’ve tried to talk about it with my therapist but I just can’t cope with it and I’m unbelievably stressed out. I don’t know how to handle it and it’s been affecting my relationships very negatively. How do I go about not being anxious over small stuff?

My boyfriend has recently taken up the hobby of discord which I think is great, it gives him a community and allows him to talk to people other than me. However he’s been spending A-LOT of time texting these people and I have felt ignored, so I convinced him to invite me to the server. Side note I’m a girl and my boyfriend is pan but likes boys MUCH more than girls, and I have learned to cope with that over time. —moving on, this server is a very queer server, and again I don’t care. But I’ve recently seen some messages from my boyfriend saying he wants to cuddle and kiss the other people in the chat, and frankly it makes me very uncomfortable. Before I joined he did tell me some of the messages are partly satire but I still don’t know how to feel. I’m scared to talk to him about jt because I don’t want him to get sad at me and I don’t want him to think I’m suppressing his queerness

—Update
I tried to slightly bring it up by asking if it was satire and he told me that him and the people are joking when they talk about doing “sus” stuff together. It relived my fear a lot however I’m gonna stay alert. Also I’m neurodivergent and don’t pick up on sarcasm or satire and he knows that and he said that he will try to let me know in the future since I’m now in the server.

My boyfriend has recently come out as pan but he likes boys more than girls (I am a girl) I have no idea how to take this information. I’m very supportive of it, however I can’t help but wonder if he actually likes me. He also says on discord he’s gay so I’m just not sure if he really likes me. We’ve been together for almost a year and I still love him the same no matter what but I’m just worried. No I won’t leave him and no I won’t make him change.