Just tired
I generally have anxiety all the time I am 56 and post menopause and I no longer have the capacity to deal with my empathic nature. I have been slow up until this point to figure out how to control my empath abilities.
lack of estrogen is not helping - and yeah I tried HRT different set off issues.
I have had empathic/psychic abilities all my life and never truly realized how much it influence me. To the point of okay who am I. That is fucked up to not know yourself.
I meditated 4 hours Saturday in nature, 2 hours on sunday, 1 hour this morning. I was feeling better. felt like I could function not have adhd anxiety or the need to go eat.
Then I go hit. For me I feel heat all over my body the areas of my body affected. My heart clenches like I am having a heart attack. And My adreline shoots up and races...Then I am eating. Axiety and lost the ability to think or focus at all. Not residing centered in my body.
It is still 5 hours later and still having trouble.
I know consciously it is not mine but my body just reacts and sends me into a state.
Like I am one of those empaths that can pick up on a friend 1200 miles away getting a nooner. But I don't know what that is when I get it. I just get the heart racing, the horniness and eventually when talking to her about it we figured out that the time and date was her getting a nooner. Or my boss walks into the room and I get an instant headache cause she has one.
Knowing who it is has always been an issue. I just experience it.
Then I get spirits, last week I had to experience a man's military death how he died. And god that wasn't not fun. Before I realized what it was I had anxiety all week with heart palpipations.
I am just tired, getting peoples, food cravings, their depression, seeing and feeling sexual or physical abuse, seeing and being in wars, violence in general or feeling someone elses rage.
My body can no longer tolerate it. And I have tried the mirrors, the walls, the cords, crystals (help some), grounding.
But I realized that none of that is going to do any good if I am disassociating and flying out of my body when I get hit. If my internal compass gets off. I need to stay centered. And it seems the more I center the stronger my abilities are.
Still my heart is clinched and adreline hasn't settled from this late morning hit.
I just needed ot say this outloud to the universe and have it witnessed. This soul is tired.
Wish I could find a transpersonal therapist to talk to who knows what this is like.