I took someone in and now I think it was a mistake
A friend reached out a few weeks ago asking if I had a spare room for a young guy (21yo) who was couch surfing. This guy had to get out of his home. There was drama but it was made out to seem like it was coming from a family member and not him. I spoke with my adult daughter, who still lives with me, and we were open to doing a temp month-to-month situation to help this guy get out and get on his own. I have 3 spare bedrooms in my house. I am charging rent, but it's well below the market rate and it includes utilities, food, and weekly cleaning service. When he came over to meet and discuss, he asked if he could have visitors. I told him that he is welcome to have friends over, but to be mindful that this is my home, that I work from home a lot, and that I really value my peace/quiet. I said absolutely no overnight guests and that after 10pm it had to be quiet. The only other rule was to clean up after himself, if he cooked he needed to clean dishes/kitchen mess.
The first week he was here I had to remind him daily to do his dishes. He tried to tell me that he didn't know how to use a dishwasher. I told him that I didn't care if he put his dishes in the dishwasher or washed by hand but he was not going to leave dirty dishes in the sink or on the counter. We had about 3 confrontations about dishes left in the sink for 2 days. I finally told him that if he couldn't clean up after himself, he'd have to go. We have a written lease with a 7-day vacate stip. He started doing his dishes, but makes sarcastic comments when he is in the kitchen, as if my expectations are unreasonable
He has people over daily, sometimes multiple visitors. I have dogs and they bark when people are coming in the house. A couple of times, the dogs have dashed out as he's letting people in the door. When I am here working, it's very disruptive. Twice I have had to ask him and his friends to quiet down. They are sitting in my living room a few feet apart but they are yelling at each other. The first time I thought they were about to fight but I guess that is just how they talk to each other? I have reminded him that I am working and I need quiet.
Yesterday I got home from a full day of meetings famished as I didn't have time to eat. I put a frozen pizza in the oven. Realizing that it was not going to be enough to feed both of us (my daughter was at work) I made a salad. He came in with a friend as I was getting it out of the oven and yelled for his friend to come get pizza. I was hangry and I snapped. I told him that I was not feeding his friends. They left, he did not come back last night but showed back up at 9 am this morning with a friend! I was just sitting down in my office to take a work call and the dogs are barking; these people are walking in my house, talking loudly. I have a headache now.
I have obviously made a mistake putting myself in this situation. Do I talk to him again about these issues and set down more explicit rules, or do I just give him notice to get out? I wanted to help this kid out, but I am leaning toward ending this arrangement. The few times I have talked to him about things like not giving my dogs an entire jar of jerky treats in a day, or his friends bouncing loudly in and out of my house while I am on a work call, I feel like he was insulted or taken aback, like we are equals, and what I am saying is unfair.
I don't see us as equals when it comes to this house or my dogs. I own this house; he is just renting a bedroom. I don't care who it is, if I tell someone not to feed my dogs something, they should respect that. I don't need to rent this room. I was doing it as a favor. He's been here a couple of weeks now. Is he rude or just dense? Is it too late to set new rules to try and maintain my peace and let him stay here? Or should I just give him until the end of the month to leave?