r/badroommates

Warning this post may trigger politically minded people and this post has nothing to do with politics. Now with that being said, my roommate can not for whatever reason keep his mouth shut or not stir ever single conversation or statement into some Anti Trump rant and I am at the point of looking for some where else to live.

With him all roads lead to Politics even when it has nothing to do with the subject. Recently I have been sick due to an extreme weather change, my body feels a kin to Jet Lag. If you have never suffered from this you know how crappie it can feel. As I was trying to explain it, I used the example of international business people and diplomats used to experience it and it was just something you had to soldier through.

I swear he was just waiting to jump in to say it was Trumps fault and that is why I was sick. Now you could be talking about scrambled eggs and some how or another Politics are involved. Not fluffy enough, well because Ice keeps rounding up immigrants and Trans people so that is effecting chickens! No joking that is one of his statements. Our other roommate left b.c. he bothered his GF cause she is from a red state.

On the verge of knocking him out or leaving, ignoring doesn't really work cause his father is our land lord. Thought about talking to him about his son but I am not sure if it will work.

TL;DR: My roommate and his gf has s\*x in the middle of the night

I’m currently in college and live in an offsite student apartment complex. To begin with, I live in a 2 room apartment with 2 other roommates that share one room while I have my own. The main room that meets in the middle is the living room and kitchen (so one big rectangle and 2 small rectangles on each side). I also was auto assigned my roommates because I really don’t know anyone here and its too late to ask to be in a different unit now.

One problem that the certain roommate I was referring to in the title is that he has sex with his gf basically every other night except the weekends. The annoying part is that he does it in the living room at like 1 am to like 4 am (I’m not a perv, just while I’m doing an assignment/studying/gaming, I can lowkey still hear them). I know hes trying to be quiet as possible because the walls aren’t very thick and the noise also seeps through the door.

AITA but I think it wrong and inconsiderate that hes doing that even though he doesn’t have his own room to do it in. Like for example, I’m a night owl usually sleep around 2 am and sometimes I need to refill my water bottle, grab something from the kitchen, or even throw something away. But, I don’t want to go out the door because they are basically less than 15 feet away and just doing it on the couch. I also don’t want to go out the door and see them doing it and make it hella awkward and uncomfortable. I’ve had this idea of tell him to not do it in the apartment because the living room and kitchen is a communal area and it doesn’t matter what time of day/night it is, y’all shouldn’t be degrade the couch without even cleaning it afterwards.

I don’t use the living room much or basically at all, but its connected to and literally one big room with the kitchen and I use the kitchen alot. Since, I have my own room, I see no reason to stay in the living room but I do keep my door semi-open during the day. I’ve given it alot of thought to tell him but never got around to tell him because although we are basically strangers just living together, it’ll feel weird when we pass by in the apartment. Obviously I’m going to say something very very soon but just wanted some input.

P.S. The other roommate is the chillest dude but is mostly in their room since he has a dog and is focused on his studies.

I live in a house with my partner and another two flatmates. My partner owns the house.

One of them is constantly cooking and in the kitchen. I kid you not, probably 5 hours a day. For dinner, I always have to wait a few hours as he takes forever and when I'm cooking or coming into the kitchen he immediately returns to the kitchen and gets in my way - starts tidying, making dessert, gets cutlery out, dries dishwasher dishes, uses the sink when I'm at the stove (it's a small kitchen so there's not much space)and the sink is right next to the stove on a perpendicular angle, so he has now come right up behind me a multiple of times and I don't like it.

He also keeps trying to make convo, lingers and literally watches me prepare dinner when I just wanna focus, chill and not make conversation. Especially after work. Often, I'd had to make convo while I'm chopping or doing prep or cos he just stands there. Keep in mind we give him kitchen space for hours! I just want some peace and quiet.

He is always baking (often twice a week) and pretty much uses the oven everyday! What should we say cos I'm getting really annoyed now. Today he's gone into the kitchen within 20 seconds of me going in there three times! I can't cook if someone is washing their dishes or busying themselves, or opening drawers when I'm trying to move around the kitchen.

Never had this issue with anyone else lol. Last Friday, I waited till nearly 8 for him to be done and asked at 7.30 how long he will be. Then when I was in the kitchen he kept coming in and doing the same shit again lol.

What should we say? It's pissing me off.

Edit//

Forgot to add - I did once tell him I liked to focus on cooking and couldn't multitask, so would prefer to focus on that, and he still didn't get it. Also, last night when I was at the stove, he came into the kitchen twice within 15 mins and chose that moment to grab something in the cabinet above the stove, so was right up behind me and had to reach over me. I told him I needed personal space and it made me feel uncomfortable, so will see if anything changes. 😕

Hey Internet - wanted to rant somewhere.

My rommate only takes baths. Almost every day he will wake up, fill the tub, and soak watching youtube for 45 minutes. Totally unhinged behavior for a shared space. There are three of us in the house with one bathroom which is really high traffic in the morning.

He is a grad student with seemingly no schedule. Most days he has his bath, makes a sunday morning style breakfast, goes to the couch to blast TV or phone scroll, eventually goes to campus then resumes couch time until whatever time he goes to bed.

I shower at night and am usually able to get to the bathroom before he wakes up.... But maybe 2 days a week I get stuck waiting for the bathroom and need to piss in the yard or drive to a gas station to take a dump to get ready for work. Third roommate is his partner and wakes up with him / uses the bathroom before his bath. My job is either remote, or travelling to customer sites so waiting until I get to work isn't a thing.

I have asked him to take his bath soak outside of high-traffic bathroom times, but he says that is how he gets clean and ready for the day. He apparently doesn't shower.

We are in our 30s and I can't believe I needed to have this conversation. I am a professional, established in my career, and don't need a roommate.... I was looking for a new place after a breakup and he was also looking for a place with his partner. We have been friends for over a decade and I haven't had roommates in years, thought it would be fun to live with a buddy again.

Am I the crazy person or is this selfish BS?

I sublet half of my appartement. I made a cleaning schedule in the past with a previous roommate, with chores that are part of general upkeep and a more deep clean once every 3 weeks (like descaling, mopping wooden floor ...). They are really reasonable. They are generally shared when a roommate moves in and for me it is a measure of compatibility that the schedule is respected. If you want to live in a filthy house be my guest, just not with me . I have a vacuuming and mopping robot. Just the wooden floor needs to be mopped with a steam cleaner once every 3 weeks.

I have a new roommate since 3m. Scheduled to clean deep together twice, to show the ins and outs of the house, and she cancelled and didn't show up. I did it myself. 3 times in a row at that point. I then went over the list with her verbally. We alternate 3 weeks of chores. At the end of her 3 weeks it was her turn to deep clean in the weekend. She didn't and left for the weekend. I sent her a message asking if she was still gonna do it..since Monday is my 3 weeks and I like to start in a clean house.

She asked. Is it dirty then? It really was. I told her yes and asked her: did you clean the stuff on the list. She said she did clean in the beginning of the week. I reminded her of the agreements that were made about the cleaning schedule before she moved in . I also sent some pics of parts of the house that were really dirty, and hard to believe she "just cleaned" those. She then admitted she didn't do these things. Things like not mopping the wooden floor, the drying mat of the sink being full of dirt, dirty fingers on the cupboards. I don't think she even cleaned them once in 3 weeks.

She then said I was making her feel bad doing this over text. I told her I already adressed the fact she tends to not keep made agreements, verbally, the week before when I also vacuumed the apartment in her place and cleaned the kitchen , and since she was not here that I wanted a solution now. If this means I adress it over text so be it. Before my 3 weeks starts. Asked her: can you do the chores on the list later this week...she said okay. But then said she still feels bad.

I honestly don't care. If you are gonna be a unreliable maybe expect people to get a little irritated? I didn't call her lazy I just reminded her of agreements made.

TLDR in the title, but for context I started college a bit less than 2 months ago. I (18F) met my roommate (18M) through the roommate selection process, and over summer we became friends just playing video games together. We live in a fairly nice dorm at our college, we have a private bathroom and shower and its big for college dorm standards, but its still just a single small room with only about 6 feet between the beds. My roommate has occasionally said they were taking naps and put up a big pillow they have that obscures them alot, which I thought nothing of until yesterday. They said they were taking another nap and I still thought nothing of it, until I climbed into my bed to watch youtube because I was cold, when I looked over, they were watching porn and their blanket was moving up and down as you could guess. I very much tried to ignore it, and gave them the benefit of the doubt that they forgot I was here, until a few hours ago when I saw their blanket moving up and down in the same way while I knew they knew I was there.

I don't dislike my roommate, but I am terrified of talking to them about this, and this whole thing makes me really uncomfortable with them doing that while I'm in the room. I don't know what the hell to do.

Edit: I will probably try to talk with my roommate about it sometime over the weekend, I don't want to jump directly to reporting them to Ra's or anything because I don't necessarily want them to actually get in trouble, but I will if I really have to. Also get popcorn for one of these reply chains because it is some of the funniest mental gymnastics I've seen.

Edit 2: They started doing it again, so I finally talked to them and they agreed not to do while I'm in the room anymore. But all they said was "its a good boundary to set" which is like sure, but an apology would have been nice too. I'm still pissed overall that its a thing that had to be discussed in the first place. Also I acknowledge that this is a horribly worded post, I wrote this fresh off a draining test so I was tired, but the replies are hilarious so I'm not changing it, though it is unfortunately a true story.

Roommate refuses to pay for her portion of utilities, literally refuses. Ive been kindly asking her for her portion of the utilities and she simply ignores the message. She doesn’t even pay rent on time so how can I expect her to utilities on time either?

Context: My roommate thinks everyone else is the problem and not her. She causes a lot of issues then disappears so you cannot confront her or she simply will ignore your texts. I missed one month of utilities because I was so busy trying to get my money back from two months prior. She literally didn’t want to pay me for both the utilities and wifi one time, so I ended up changing the wifi password which she paid immediately. Go figure. She was so upset, she decided she didn’t want to pay me directly anymore so she got her own wifi. All she had to do was pay me $22 a month.

I cannot stand this girl for the life of me, lol. Literally insufferable.

What can I do in this situation; I live in PA.

TLDR: The title covers it pretty well.

I never would have thought that this would be a roommate problem, let alone a MY roommate problem.

And, to preface, I like sports. I've never been a huge sport watcher, but I like sports. I'm literally coach by profession.

But holy shit.

I have three roommates and I'll admit that I am the odd one out. But that's because all they do is watch sports. Constantly, all day. We all have nontraditional work schedules, so in any given week, I'm home at any hour of the day. And it's always sports. Every afternoon from like 3 PM to Midnight. Sports.

Every conversation is about sports. Every plan is about what game to watch. I've literally seen them watch sports on their phone while watching sports on their laptops while watching sports on the television. Sometimes they will even leave the house to go watch sports somewhere.

And it's every fucking team for every fucking sport. This time of year is the worst because we are literally watching football and baseball and whatever else pops up like tennis or golf. And it's just assumed that the living room is for sports. I feel like I'm not allowed to watch anything because it's always claimed. For sports.

There's kind of two angles here.

The first is that I am shocked how annoying a sound can be. Every single football game, no matter who is announcing, has that kind of background crowd noise of cheering and whatnot and I am pretty sure that I have developed some sort of complex with it. Come home from the gym? RAHHHHHHHHHH. Come home from work? RAHHHHHHHH. Open my bedroom door? RAHHHHHH.

But the second piece is that this can NOT be healthy to have your brain turned off, consuming entertainment for so much of your life. It's dramatic as hell but it feels dystopic.

Stupid ass questions every single day like this:

Oh, you’re up early, where you going?
Work, like everyone else does
Why you going to the trails, it’s hot outside?
Yes I know it’s hot outside, but I like being outdoors & don’t care. I wear a tank top & a hat.
Why don’t you connect to the wifi?
Because the 5G UC on my phone is faster, & why do you care.
Why do you keep fixing your old truck instead of buying a new one?
Well because it’s paid off, & I’d rather spend $200 every few months fixing it than paying out the ass for payments.
Why don’t you cook at home?
Well I work two jobs, & don’t want to sit around the house on my only day off.

I've moved a lot for work over the past couple of years and every living arrangement has involved roommates. In every single place I've lived, my roommates complain that I keep to myself too much, and that "they don't even know when I'm home". For context; I am a super busy (online classes and full-time work plus gym routine plus social life outside the house) INTROVERT, and I make this very clear from the start. They ALL seem to take it personally that I don't hang out in common spaces more (most of my roommates have been WFH and had desks set up in said common spaces), and that we don't hang out more often. AITA for thinking being in your thirties in shared housing isn't a social contract or obligation to be besties with people you live with? I'm ALWAYS friendly in passing and stop to chit-chat when I have time! I'm also super duper clean.

My (24m) roommate (26m) was in a fairly recent breakup that sent him spiralling into having random girls over constantly. This was, in my opinion, pretty inconsiderate and annoying having strangers in our shared space constantly, but I thought this was a rebound scenario so I didn't really care and I was away quite a bit.

One of these strangers has since become his girlfriend and she is over morning noon and night and I feel like I'm intruding on their relationship in my own home. If I leave my room they get quieter and ask me if I'm heading out soon clearly not wanting me there. They constantly use the living room, cram all shelves with their own stuff and it's all round an awkward situation.

I have to say I feel super disrespected and there's no way in hell id ever do this to him but I'm not too sure how to address it. He's clearly either really in love with their woman or is still very hurt from his breakup.

Has anyone experienced something similar and how did you handle it?

So, the disgusting roommate was legally evicted by the judge last Thursday afternoon.

It was issued WITHOUT STAY and effective the very next day.

Problem is the bureaucratic backlog in NYC that it will take 4-6 weeks for the marshals to serve this pig with the 14-day notice.

Meanwhile, she continues to urinate and defecate and store trash in her room to the point of the entire apartment smelling like a public toilet and cockroaches overrunning it.

Today, we gave her until 5pm to throw out the bags of trash she has stored in that room, AND to clean it to eradicate the ammonia stench of urine coming from inside of it.

We did not arrive at that decision lightly.

For MONTHS, as we waited to be see by the judge, we would mop all the floors outside the perimeter of that room. For a while it worked. Now the urine smell is so overwhelming that that does not work anymore.

So if she does not meet the 5pm deadline, we will be going in and eradicating the stench of urine with a cleaning onslaught.

We are done with this. And done with a system that allows a squatter to remain in an apartment for nearly two more months.

The owner of this apartment is almost 80. He never was very bright. But now couple that with cognitive decline and you can see why he allowed this squatter in here —- who ALREADY had 4 evictions on her record.

I had to take on the entire process of court paperwork and making sure he made it to the court dates. I am now having to manage the process with the marshal as well.

I’m done with this squatter and her stench.

Have any of you gone through this? And if so, how did you handle it?

Because it is clear that her intent is to remain here until the marshals put her out.

We have a chore rotation that I implemented because I was the only one cleaning. No-one objected it when I asked if that's okay/if they have other ideas. It's working fine, not perfect but better than it used to be.

I noticed one of my roommate checks his chore off but it isn't done. For example, he "cleaned" bathroom but the sink and mirror were dirty, only the floor looked cleaner, he "cleaned" toilet but sink was dirty, he didn't clean the seat/underneath it at all (the smell lingers if it doesn't get cleaned thoroughly), he "vacuumed" but he quite clearly didn't. And those things were clearly noticeable.

Now, I don't want to be policing how people clean or if they do at all, but I noticed it happened once, twice and now again. Also, there's a printed checklist of what each chore should be as a "guideline" so if he doesn't know what/how to clean, it's there. I'm scared if I approach it he'll just deny and I can't do anything. I'm also 10 years younger so I feel like this is just ridiculous to have to mommy him but also makes me feel less "powerful".

I (22 F) live with a roommate (20 F) who has a 10-month-old puppy (a dachshund. The puppy is sweet, but my roommate really hasn’t been consistently potty training her. The puppy regularly pees and poops inside. Accidents happen, obviously, especially with a puppy, but this has gotten to the point where I’m frustrated with the condition of the apartment.

There’s a rug in our apartment that my roommate owned before I moved in. I didn’t buy it, choose it, or bring it into the apartment. The problem is that it absolutely reeks of dog urine. I mean, you can smell it when you walk into the room. At this point, I’m pretty sure the rug has been peed on so many times that the smell is just permanently embedded in it. It's also white, so there's clear pee spots on it and dirty. It needs a good shampoo, but I also am hesitant to buy a new rug or deep clean this one if she's not going to maintain it.

I understand that puppies have accidents, and I’m not expecting a 9-month-old dog to be perfect. What bothers me is that it doesn’t seem like there’s much effort being made to actually correct the problem. It feels like the accidents are just being accepted as part of having a puppy, while I’m also having to live with the smell. It's to the point where I was sitting in my living room and all I could smell was pee, and my house guests have mentioned the smell to me too (which is embarrassing, as I am a clean person).

I asked her about buying a new rug when I first moved in, but she said she would wait until the puppy was trained. But at this point, with the puppy almost being a year old and consistently peeing, I'm at a loss at what to say to her. I’m especially frustrated because I’m paying rent and trying to keep our shared space clean, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the apartment not to smell like dog piss.

Context: I also have a dog, who is 11, so clearly at a different age in her life and not having accidents so there's not a fair comparison there but she is house trained. Also, the dog has recently been an issue with our neighbors because it would bark for hours and hours, and we received a noise complaint.

TL;DR: My roommate’s 10-month-old dachshund regularly pees and poops inside due to inconsistent potty training. The apartment now smells strongly of urine, especially because of a white rug she owned before I moved in that is visibly stained and reeks. Guests have even commented on the smell. I don’t want to pay to replace or deep-clean the rug if the puppy will continue having accidents. The dog has also recently caused a noise complaint after barking for hours. I pay rent too, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want our shared apartment to be clean and not smell like pee.

Ok so I moved in this place in July, me and my roomate get along just fine and the place is ok.

She has a boyfriend who she brings over a lot which i didn’t mind at first but i’m starting to get annoyed recently and i don’t know if im getting myself worked up or if they’re kinda being annoying.

So first things first i had a cup on the counter where i kept my toothbrush and my toothpaste, about two weeks after he started coming he felt it was ok to put his toothbrush in with mine? So i left it on the counter and put my cup in the cabinet.
He’s used our shower on more occasions than one which is not an issue but he takes so fckng long in there and it’s the evening when im also getting home from work and waiting to get in.

Obviously I know what’s going to happen when you’re in the room, but i can hear the ass clapping WITH MY DOOR SHUT every single time he comes over and my most recent last straw was last Saturday which is also my only day off during the week from working two jobs so i usually stay home and sleep.

I was on the phone all morning and it was going on for far too long and it was really loud so i opened my door and these people ARE ON THE LIVING ROOM COUCH HAVING SEX! I don’t think they knew i was home and ive not brought it up since then with my roomate because i don’t want to make her feel like she has to walk on eggshells if she wants him to come over.

he came back again last night and now he is severely getting on my nerves, though
i forgot to mention he also slams the bedroom and bathroom door every single time he comes in or out like genuinely he just all around annoys me for his lack of consideration.
I’m starting to wonder at this point if im working myself up 😂 like i just want him out of my fckng house or i feel like im going to lose it.
Is this not weird behavior on both parts or maybe im trippin? It’s not like our space is that big either like our rooms are right across from eachother and the living room

I rent a room out in my apt that’s very cheap. Below mkt. my roommate forgot to lock the front entrance door the 3rd time. Even though I politely told her twice already in two months time. This time I discovered it before I went to bed and the door was slightly open as well.

I texted her to let her know. She apologized like she did the first two times. I was annoyed bc we don’t live in a good area and anyone can walk into the building. So I then emphasized its a big deal and it could not happen again. Please remember bc I got burgled in the past.

She shot back a mega text saying she understood but that I needed to talk to her with respect etc…I said that I was upset bc it happened before. She then shot me another mega text about respectful communication.

Next day, I texted her if she wouldn’t mind to take down the garbage that sat in front of our door for 3 days now. I said because I had taken out several garbage bags the other day and did repairs in the apt as well.

She ignored my text and when I came home the garbage was still there. I asked her if she got my text she said yes. She said she’ll do it tomorrow. I then threw out the trash myself and texted her that. She texted moving forward she will take out the trash when it smells.

Anyway later I confronted her why she didn’t take out the trash and she said she was angry at me because me text saying how I did other chores was rude and made her feel like she does nothing. (it’s kind of true, she does less than me).

Anyway, I am amazed she is so brazen to talk to me this way seeing she’s only been here two months. I gave her grace bc she has bad credit but thought she needed help to get back on her feet. And the room is cheap. I just don’t get why she’s not thankful to live here but keeps going on about respectful communication. Thoughts?

A while ago, I had a post on here talking about how a roommate literally screamed at me, using her autism and ptsd as an excuse to do so. Most people were in support of me in the post. But I had one or two people say that because I tried “rushing her” (asked nicely to take her laundry out of the dryer before my work) that it was semi my fault. Yeah well I checked the dryer when I got home yesterday, her clothes were inside. No big deal, I’ll do it today before I go to work. Except oh wouldn’t you know it, her clothes are STILL in the dryer. I can’t say anything or she’ll yell at me again like she did last time. I’ve waited two days to use the dryer. Two. Days.

TL;DR My landlord who can use the washing machine all the times she wants, just used MY laundry to clean a super dirty mop without telling me anything. While the washing machine was running. We are only allowed to use the washing machine once, and it has all my normal clothes and work clothes in it. ):

I just need to vent, because I'm losing my mind in this house.

I'm a person who struggles with boundaries, but I'm still trying to put them. I DON'T MIND if anybody asks me beforehand to put anything in the washing machine with my laundry.

The thing is: the rules of the house (we live with the landlord) is that we, the 'guests', can only put 1 WASHING MACHINE a week. And we MUST put one every two weeks with our bed sheets.

I woke up early, I put my washing machine (this includes all my clothes, work clothes, underwear...) and while I'm having breakfast, I hear her opening the washing machine and putting something inside, without saying anything.

She sees me in the kitchen and says 'oh you're awake early' (no sense, as it was 8:30 am and I normally wake up at 7 am lmfao)

The thing is, I've been crying over this (looool) but because it's just one after another. I feel it's completely disrespectful. She puts A LOT OF WASHING MACHINES during the week. The mop was used on Tuesday and today is Saturday.

Last Sunday she asked me to put the mop and some dirty towels with my laundry (it was my bed sheets and towels, so I didn't mind, and she asked beforehand)

But really, just opening and putting the dirty mop of cleaning the floor, with chemicals and shit, with my everyday clothes, without saying anything? If she would have asked probably I would have say yes.

And I don't know who how to proceed because I already said something yesterday about noises when I'm sleeping, and also complained because they leave the pan full of oil... Idk man.

Just needed to rant. Thanks for reading.