r/badroommates

I’m trying so hard to be civil but it feels almost impossible when my roommate from hell has two friends over and is vacuuming at 3 in the morning. I just worked a late 8 hour shift all I want is some peaceful rest without strangers in my house.

Edit: my other roommate turned off the electricity to get them to stop. This is where her and her friends started verbally attacking us. Even though I doubled my anxiety med that night to stay neutral, it was not enough and I completely lost my shit. I had to take weed (which is never do) just so that I could calm down. Then when things had settled and we were just watching some tv all together without her so we could feel better, she ended up coming in trying to start an argument (we were able to ignore her this time).

I was already set on kicking this guy out, now I’m pissed.

TLDR: Either extremely incompetent or intentionally malicious roommate needlessly disconnected my chest freezer to connect the microwave. Chest freezer is full of meat but luckily everything was still frozen after a day.

Currently deep cleaning the house. I’ve been the only one that cleans the house for the whole time we’ve lived here btw. In our pantry room we have a microwave and a chest freezer sharing an outlet. The chest freezer is on a short extension cord because the stock cord doesn’t reach. The microwave reaches just fine

Yesterday, while I was cleaning the pantry room I disconnected the microwave so that I could move it and the furniture it’s on to clean behind it. JUST NOW, im getting food from the pantry room when I catch a glimpse of the outlet. The extension cord is connected, the other socket is free, but the microwave is on??

I realize what’s wrong. I check behind the microwave stand and the chest freezer cord is just there not connected to anything. My idiot roommate wanted to use the microwave, so he disconnected the chest freezer cord from the extension cord to connect the microwave. THE MICROWAVE CORD REACHES THE OUTLET JUST FINE. I immediately open my chest freezer to asses the damage. The chest freezer hold various fish and crab (THAT I CAUGHT) and regular meat from the grocery store. Luckily everything was still frozen solid.

Had I not canceled Sat/Sun plans I would have never noticed and all the food I had in there would be ruined.

I’m not sure if it’s extreme incompetence or if this was purposely malicious. Either way tmr morning I’m printing out a notice telling him to vacate the room. He is a sublease under me and every day I’ve regretted choosing him for the room.

Hey ya'll I have an update, so let's just cut the crap and get into it!

Everything has been all good and sprout left after two nights!

I contacted my property manager and she responded immediately and basically stated all of the rules in a our contract that state that a 'guest' staying over night is not considered a 'guest' anymore and is considered a resident, so my property manager told me that she would be contacting bean and giving her a warning. She told me that if sprout wasn't gone after two nights, then I would need to tell her immediately.

So I messaged both of my flatmates, and I told them I snitched on bean to our property manager, and I told them if you noticed that he's lingering more than two nights, then to tell me.

One of them responded and said that Bean told her in person that he would be gone after two nights, and she said that from the sounds of it, there won't be any more issues coming from her! I haven't heard any gossip from her since then, so that's a good thing.

The real FUNNY thing about this is, is that I have a feeling that Bean is trying to get on my good side again.

When I moved in, I installed an internet modem since everyone else had their own personal mobile plan, and when Bean moved in, she wanted to use my internet, so every month, we just split the bill.

She would constantly complain about how slow our internet was on her phone, and I don't disagree with her it's pretty shit 😭 but it's just cheap student wifi, so what do you expect?

A couple of days after I had a go at her through text she randomly told me that she had switched to a mobile plan that was connected to our power company a while ago and forgot to tell me. She told me that she would pay me what she would owe me for this month's internet bill.

I was completely chill with that, and I assumed that she would only pay a quarter of what she would normally pay me for her half of the bill since she had switched providers a couple of weeks ago.

But then the next day she told me that she paid for my ENTIRE internet bill and low and be hold she sent the money to me in total.

I was so weirded out as to why she would do that since if apparently she switched providers I'm guessing a couple of weeks ago, she hasn't been using my internet at all throughout the month, so paying for internet that your not even using is just putting yourself into financial dept for no reason 😭.

I ended up sending her half of the money back, and I texted her back, saying that you didn't need to do that cause that's not fair on you. She hasn't responded jdjdjskdj.

Idk it feels like she's trying to get on my good side again. But girl idc about your money, all you gotta do is just give me a thoughtful apology and show a change in your behaviour and I'm all set.

I'm still in my hometown, but I'm going back to the flat in a couple of days before my semster starts. I have a feeling that there aren't gonna be any crazy housewives level arguments between me and bean because respectfully, she is not a confrontational person in real life. This girl is all bark, no bite. She's told me before that she's the type of person who is very avoident when it comes to approaching confrontation.

When the time calls for it, she will be getting no mercy from me 😭 cause I am the complete opposite of non confrontational. I will double down on my points and grill her for disregarding the boundaries of the flat mates and TRYING to gaslight me into thinking that 'I should have told her sooner.' typa bull shit.

But now that I'm here, let me give ya'll some lore about bean.

Her taste in men is absolutely horrid, and that was one of the main reasons as to why I didn't trust the man (sprout) that she was bringing into the house.

Bean grew up in a Romanian orthodox Christian house hold, her Dad is a literal priest (he blessed our flat with holy water, clearly didn't help his daughter from being any less of a sinner) and because of her up bringing the way she approaches relationships and sexual relationships is really emotionally stunted because obviously her parents didn't teach her how to navigate relationships in a way that's healthy. Apparently according to her, her parents tried to get her married to an older man when she was only 17-18 which is fucking traumatizing. So that explains her behaviour when it comes to guys.

She will get very emotionally attached very quickly to the guys that she likes and because she's wearing rose colored glasses, she will not see the red flags that are presenting themselves right infront of her.

For example:

TW: Mentions of rape

She told me that when she was with her previous boyfriend she found out that he apparently RAPED a girl and even knowing that she didn't break up with him. They split it off because of reasons completely unrelated.

So now ya'll have some more insight as to why SPECIFICALLY I don't trust this girl and her taste in men. She has the survival instincts of a walnut, and she can GENUINELY bring a Richard Ramirez type of mf into the flat.

I could write a whole novel about all the crap this girl has done. This story is just the tip of the iceberg. I ONLY JUST MET HER MARCH OF THIS YEAR TOO.

Anyways that's it, shout out to all the people in the comments who validated my feelings and encouraged me to talk to my land lord about it, I hope all of your internet bills for the month get paid off by a random person in your life 😭.

We recently started fostering my roommates (32M) nieces (9 and 6) and had ordered a professional cleaning service who cancelled on us 3 times. We (me 24M, 24F) ask our other roommate to be up at 9:30 because he went to bed early. He is up, and decides at 9:10 to walk to the store and get his nieces headphones instead. The cleaner comes, no adult answers the door, and she cancels. He basically then yelled at us that we’re being rude and that everything is always his fault. To add, the cleaning was a gift paid in full by my roommates family. So at 9:45 there’s a screaming match in the living room over this

EDIT- We did not, and would not ever, leave these girls home alone. I was asleep and so was my other roommate because the older roommate insisted that he would take care of it.

I just moved out at the end of an apartment, and so did both my other two roommates. Entirely vacated unit. I'll call them Stephanie and Chelsea. Stephanie had WiFi in her name, and Chelsea and I were supposed to pay her for internet every month by sending her a third of the bill. Stephanie never shared a password for the bill, nor screenshot, etc. confirming the cost.

Stephanie texted me just now asking for half the Verizon WiFi bill, claiming that they charged her for another month, and it's the previous month. I have no idea if Verizon actually charges for the previous or upcoming month, as Stephanie has never shared any of that info with us. So she's claiming it's for the month we just finished.

She's asking me for half the bill as Chelsea won't pay her for third of it. So Stephanie wants me to split the bill with her. Should I send her money? There was nothing in the lease that had rules for splitting bills not charged by the apartment complex.

This was her text to me: Hi (name redacted), Verizon charged me another month of internet bill. I called them and they said the cycle is from June 11, and even if we cancel the service, we still have to pay for the whole month. Can we share the cost of the bill? Thank you.

TL;DR- My roommate is like the girl in the movie obsession, thinking of changing my room.

My roommate is a year senior to me. She is squint eyed and has a lot of medical issues. I felt bad for her and thought she was a nice person until I realised it was all a facade. She is extremely rude and cunning. She keeps gaslighting and manipulating me until I act according to her wish.

I'll give a simple example: I just want to study but she has been staying in room because I stay to study. But that's not out of love it's for possession and control. She keeps staring at me. Even if I am studying she wants me to look at her and keep giving her attention if I don't, she'll call her friends, or family and her family is weird as well. She flips the camera to me during a video call without caring even a little or telling me about it. She just wants me to look bad because I'd be doing something of my own after I get angry at her for pestering me. If I concentrate on my studies she bangs on the table or starts shaking her body to make me look at her every 5 minutes I can't afford to do that. I can't study like that so one day, I sat facing my back towards her. She cried that day. Then she kept gaslighting and manipulating me. When I felt this is not how want to study, I left for study room in my hostel. She kept asking why am I going, I told her to study. She then asked "how come you increased your study hours". I said, well I study like this, I just wasn't studying like this for a while in the beginning. She started snooping on my phone, bag and things. Then she kept asking to my friend if I go there all the time. She said yes, then she snooped in her room to check if I was there. Then she asked her where the study room is, she doesn't know. So, she said I will by hook or crook find it then gave an explaination that she needs to study well at night on somedays however, she told me she'll never go to study room when I was planning to and made fun of my choice to go to study room to study. Each time I go to study room, it's probably been more than a month yet, she always asks me with an extremely judgy and surprised tone "YoU ArE GoInG tO ThE StUdY RoOm???" I am feed up saying it everyday like I am doing a crime. So I finally told her today, why do you keep asking the same question everyday like it's a surprise? She always has cunning replies so, I was prepared. She said yeah because I thought you were going because of your exams. I said, I have already told you multiple times I am not only going for exams. I study like that usually. Then, she starts manipulating me saying you never said that. I got so angry when she tried to manipulate my reality again! That bursted out saying I have told you multiple times, she says no, you just said you were comfortable studying there because that's the only message on WhatsApp I sent regarding it. I told her ask Liza (a common friend who is her junior) and she judgily says LiZa?!?!? I said yes, I have said it in front of her as well. Only then she shut herself up and I left for study room but good damn the struggle for each and everything I choose to do is crazy. It's like she wants me to ask for permission on what I do. Like wtf? She does whatever she wants but I stay minion to her? She is a single child plus has so many disabilities which is why she is used to such a treatment but she chose to come to a hostel she cannot expect to stay in a hostel and be treated like her parents pamper her even though she controls me and never cares for me rather shows dominance over me.

TL;DR: Three days after moving into a new flatshare in London, one of my flatmates screamed at me over a bin bag, threw rubbish at my bedroom door, and later that night tried to order four adult women to their rooms before recording us when we refused.

I recently moved to London for my placement year and into a private flatshare in East London. There are five of us in total: four women (including me) and one man, who I’ll call Tom.

When I first moved in, I only met one of the girls, who I’ll call Hannah. She was really friendly, and we got on straight away. I didn’t meet the other flatmates until my third day.

The previous tenant had left loads of stuff behind, including mouldy food taking up most of the fridge. I asked the groupchat a few times if someone could help me clear it out because I didn’t know what belonged to who, but nobody replied at first. Eventually they told me it was all the previous tenant’s, so I put it all in one bin bag.

I planned to take the rubbish out later with another flatmate, Sarah, when she got home from work. Before I had the chance, Tom decided to take the bins out himself. While doing that, one of the bags broke I assume.

He completely lost his temper. He started screaming at the top of his lungs, came upstairs to my room, threw what looked like a piece of rubbish at my bedroom door, and continued shouting at me. I was completely shocked. I apologised repeatedly and immediately helped him clean up the mess in the kitchen. Afterwards, I went back to my room and cried because I’d only been living there for three days and had no idea what had just happened.

Around an hour later, Sarah and I went for a drink after she finished work. Hannah and another flatmate, (who I’ll call Bianca), joined us, and it was actually really nice to get to know everyone properly. We came home around 00:45. Sarah and Bianca wanted to make some food, so the four of us stood in the kitchen, chatting quietly while they cooked.

After only a couple of minutes, Tom aggressively burst into the kitchen and said, “Guys it’s 1am can we be quiet, please?” We then lowered our voices and started whispering.
About a minute later, he came back, burst through the door again, and shouted, “EVERYONE, TO YOUR ROOMS, NOW!” And we just stood there in silence. Sarah just said, “We’re adults. You can’t tell us to go to our rooms.”

When he noticed none of us was moving, Tom stood in the doorway, pulled out his phone, and started recording all four of us, saying he was going to report us to the landlord. Bianca brought up how he’d shouted at me earlier over the bins and said he couldn’t keep intimidating people like that.

For context, Tom is in his 30s, and the rest of us are in our 20s. At no point did he apologise for shouting at me or throwing rubbish at my door.
We spoke to the landlord afterwards because this behaviour made all of us uncomfortable.

Being shouted at is something I find quite difficult because I grew up in an environment where that happened a lot, so having someone shout at me like that in my own home made me feel unsafe.

I’m still living here, and I’m honestly not sure how to handle someone who reacts like this over relatively minor issues.

Oh one of roommates came up with a hilarious scam. I live in a large house with 6 housemates. There are 7 of us and we're all grown adults. Yet, my physically disabled ass is the only one cleaning. The other day one of the housemates asked me "Can you show me how your mop works?"

I say "Sure, it's in the laundry room..."

She interrupts "oh not now, lets talk tomorrow"

In my head I think "You are a grown woman of over 50 years. I know you've mopped floors before. We have a Swiffer Power Mop this shit is not hard. You put a pad on it, press the only button on it and fluid comes out, then you mop. And if you want to be real nice you throw the pad in the washer after. If you really wanted to know you can Google it"

So it dawned on me. She's nor asking to know. She's smart and could easily figure it out. The pads and extra fluid are right next to it. Nah. She's asking me because when I bring up being the only one to clean she can say that she asked how the mop worked and never got around to telling her. It's pure weaponized incompetence.

I’m so done with living with people.
How hard is it to clean up after yourself? You’re a grown adult. We agreed from the beginning that everyone would clean after themselves, yet somehow I’m staring at the same dirty pan sitting in the sink for FIVE DAYS. It literally started to smell. How do you walk into the kitchen every day, cook, eat, and somehow not notice the disgusting pan you left there?
And it’s not just that. Food stains get left all over the counter because apparently wiping it down is too much effort. Every weekend there’s plenty of time to go out, see friends, and have fun, but somehow there’s never five minutes to wash a pan or wipe a counter.
I genuinely don’t understand how some adults can live like this. Why does basic consideration for the people you live with seem so rare? I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to choose between living in someone else’s mess or constantly cleaning up after people who should know better.

I have been living in an absolute hellhole for the past eight months and i am completely at my wits end like i cant but my roommate is literally the most disgusting, filthy person i have ever met in my entire life. Living with her is literally so mentally distressing and toxic

Her side of the room looks like a literal trashcan. Her study table is buried under a mountain of garbage, thick layers of dust and old rotting food with spilled sauces everywhere on the table.

She leaves used sanitary pad wrappers all over her desk and floor and she even throws her dirty underwear on the floor just assuming someone else is going to pick up after her. She literally doesn’t even brush her teeth for days like can u imagine
I still tried to mind my own business becauae whatever she does on her side shouldn’t be my problem although the room smells really bad because of her disgusting habits

But then she like bought her disgusting habits to the bathroom. The smell is so incredibly foul that i literally gag the second i open the door. It smells like a complete shithole because she has zero basic manners. She regularly forgets to flush the toilet, leaves the toilet seat sometimes covered in blood stains or urine. Sometimes there is dry poop sticking to the toilet bowl. And even worses she once had her dirty underwear with used sanitary pad on it hanging for days on the shared hanger. The freaking audacity of this woman , my god.

I am honestly scared to even touch her or her stuff cause god knows if she even washes her hand after peeing or not. I literally feel so unsafe in my own room because of her.

For months i tried to be nice, i felt like a mother constantly begging a child to maintain basic hygiene and she would just brush me off like it is totally normal to live in filth. It is literally so embarrassing and humiliating for me to clean someone else’s body fluids because she refuses to take responsibility and has 0 shame.

When i finally confronted her, she got defensive and like stopped talking to me and had the guts to act like a victim. She wants to paint me as a villian cause i stood up for myself. She randomly said sorry one day and i for a second thought maybe she would change but it was all a lie. She is just as disgusting as day one and now it’s even worse

For the last three days i had to wipe her pee drops off the toilet seat. Like there is no way she doesn’t see it. She is doing all of this intentionally to provoke me so that i lose my temper and she can play the victim card in front of everyone.

I am so exhausted and so disgusted, i cant even stand to look at her face without gagging. She is a selfish toxic, filthy human being who has zero shame for her actions.

I wish i could do something about changing the room but rn it’s not possible, I just wanted to rant and let it all out cause it was just getting very frustrating for me.

TLDR( used chatgpt) : I am stuck living in an absolute nightmare with a filthy roommate who leaves trash, rotting food, and used sanitary pads all over her side of the room. It has gotten even worse in our shared bathroom, where she leaves blood, pee, and poop for me to clean up—she even left her dirty underwear with a used sanitary pad on it hanging on our shared hanger for days. When I finally confronted her, she played the victim and gave me the silent treatment. She hasn't changed at all, and I feel like she is now leaving her bodily fluids around on purpose just to mess with me. I am completely exhausted, disgusted, and feel unsafe in my own room, but I can't move out right now.

I (23F) am living in a 2B2B apartment with my coworker who is a bit older than me (I'll call her R). For some context I started talking and seeing this guy before I moved in and once me and him got to know each other more and met each other face to face several times in public. I had him meet my roommate and brought him over for a few hours to the apartment. And about two weeks later I let him stay overnight with her knowledge about the situation and he only stayed for one night (she was cool with it). Then the next time he came he stayed longer and met my parents and he did stay one day by himself in the apartment just staying in my room and only coming out to leave to have lunch with me while I was at work.

And lately R has been talking to 3 guys since she moved in 2 months ago one is someone we work with, another is her ex who is in jail, another is a guy who she only knows from tiktok who calls himself toxic, and another lives maybe 3 hours north from us who has been in jail but apparently she has been talking on and off for a couple of years (she didn't tell me this detail). She told me either this weekend or next she would drive up and bring him here to hang a few days (she didn't want me telling my mom) however in my opinion she can't afford that because she said she couldn't afford rent this month and has to do a payment plan for rent (when she gets paid more than I do) and she owes me almost $1100 (which she promised to pay me back several times and never did).

Due to her history of having not so great relationships (because she is into the toxic guys). I feel uneasy about the situation so I brought a key locking door knob and a camera both for my room.

However at work she heard a rumor that I didn't feel comfortable about this guy and that I bought a camera( which isn't her business about the camera) so she texted me about it and sounded very confrontational and I told her yes that I did feel uncomfortable with him coming here with her only talking to him online. And she started blowing up my phone texting me that it's unfair to her and that it's a double standard because I brought my boyfriend to the apartment, let him stay the night, and stayed one day while I was at work (my boyfriend has no criminal history my family did a background check on him). She was pretty much yelling at me through text.

I honestly do feel guilty but she said she was okay with it at the time and now she is throwing it my face. And I had went on her Facebook an hour ago (and she now has me blocked) and she posted a video about how I met my boyfriend online so I can't say anything about her bringing a guy over when I had no problem with the guy from work who I hadn't met it's just this guy because he has a criminal history that I have a problem with because a lot of times it's easy for people to go back into old and bad habits like with her she has had a sketchy past but I haven't said anything about that. I feel like I am in a bit of the wrong but my mom did say that she is manipulating me into guilt. I had told her previously to meet him in public and she had acted like she took my advice and turned around to tell me he is coming over for a few days.

I just need to vent before I lose it. I’m albino, so taking care of my skin isn’t optional or a "beauty routine" it’s a strict medical necessity. Because of that, I have to buy very specific, expensive, high-SPF sunscreens and dermatological lotions that don't trigger reactions. My roommate has this habit of just grabbing whatever is on the bathroom counter. I’ve caught them slathering on my $40 face sunscreen before going to the beach. When I told them to stop, they said, "It’s just lotion, stop gatekeeping, I’ll buy you a bottle of CVS brand to replace it"

CVS brand doesn't work for me, and they know this. I’ve started locking everything in my bedroom, but it’s so frustrating that I can’t even leave my daily essentials by the sink without them getting drained. Why are people like this?

I know its long. I am 26F and I’ve been sharing a flat with a man (around 30M) for about 2 months and with a girl (around 25) for about 5 months. I am living here almost 9months.
He told us he had recently broken up with his girlfriend because she was an alcoholic, and he didn’t want to live alone afterward, so he moved into a shared apartment. He works and takes day jobs whenever they’re available.
From the day he moved in, both my other flatmate and I felt something was a bit off socially. For example, if either of us leaves our room, he’ll often appear in the shared space within seconds and immediately start talking to us. He became physically comfortable with people very quickly (hugging another flatmate on her birthday after only knowing her for a couple of days), and he generally seems to have trouble reading personal space and social cues.
He also drinks constantly. This morning, at around 7:30 AM, while my other flatmate and I were having breakfast, he came out of his room, grabbed a 1-liter beer from the fridge, and went back. He almost always smells like alcohol, cigarettes, and sweat, and his breath usually smells strongly of alcohol. After he uses the bathroom, there’s often a strong stale alcohol smell left behind.
I’ve also caught him peeing with the bathroom door completely open when he thought nobody else was home.
Today I was using the bathroom when he tried to come in. I told him it was occupied.
A few seconds later, I heard what sounded like liquid hitting our metal kitchen sink. It wasn’t the sound of a running faucet at first—just liquid hitting the metal. A moment later I heard what sounded like someone washing their hands, and then he left the apartment.
Later I asked him about it because I genuinely suspected he’d used the kitchen sink instead of waiting. He denied it and said he was washing a plate. The thing is, in the two months he’s lived here, none of us have ever seen him cook, eat in the kitchen, or wash dishes. Instead of simply saying “No, I didn’t,” he became defensive and started listing things that the rest of us do that annoy him.
I know I never actually saw what happened, so I could absolutely be wrong. I’m not asking whether he’s guilty, because nobody here can know that.
**Would this be enough to make you question your flatmate’s hygiene, or do you think I’m connecting unrelated things because I already have concerns about his behavior? How would you handle this without falsely accusing someone?**

​

I (20f) moved in with my roommates Sarah (24f) and Noah (21m). They were a couple at the time and Sarah was pregnant. I met Noah first because we worked together and met Sarah shortly after. Noah and I hit it off pretty well and became friends quickly. Sarah was pretty standoffish and rarely came with Noah when we would hang out. About two months into knowing them Noah said that Sarah wanted him to ask me if I wanted to move in with them. I said that I obviously didn't believe this was her idea considering I didn't think she liked me at all anyways. The next time we hang out Sarah comes and explains that she thought it'd be good for them to have a roommate so they could save up more money for the baby. I wasn't living in the best place myself so I asked if I could spend a week at their place to see if I liked it and if they actually liked living with me.

Things go well and I move in early February. Noah and I start hanging out a lot more since we live together and Sarah is still being reclusive. She's pregnant and probably going through a lot of hormones, pain, etc, so I stay out of her way and don't force any interactions with her. I let my relationship with her play out like I would when getting a new cat. I leave her alone and let her observe me and come to me when she's ready, thinking that if she got comfortable with me we could be good friends. She and Noah argue a lot over dumb things that could just be resolved with some healthy communication but neither of them ever actually talk to one another unless they're arguing. I stay out of their relationship and don't urge Noah to do anything other than talk to her. I don't have a relationship with Sarah atp so I don't talk to her much.

My birthday was in March and I made plans to go to an aquarium out of state. I invited my friend Cory (28), Noah, and Sarah. Sarah had to work the weekend I decided to go and I couldn't reschedule the day because Cory worked all of the next week. I told Noah to talk to Sarah and make sure she was comfortable with him coming with me for this since it would be so far away. She told him it was fine and that she didn't care. Day before we go Cory has to cancel because he won't have enough money to go, which is fine he's my friend and I understand. So I tell Noah to make sure Sarah is ok if it's only the two of us and if she's not then I'll just cancel the little trip. She again says it's fine and that he can go so we go.

Apparently she was in fact not fine and she did not want him to go but she didn't say that. She got angry and started telling people that he took me on a date for my birthday. They start arguing over me and she says she wants me gone. Early April they get into another big argument because theres a repairman at the house in the morning fixing some structural stuff. She wakes up and tells Noah to tell the repairman to be quiet and Noah is like 'i can't he's just doing his job. It's gonna be loud.' she gathers her things and walks out and starts texting him that he's 'selfish and only cares about himself.' and that 'hes a deadbeat who's going to be a terrible father' and 'she doesn't know why she even tries anymore cause he doesn't care about her'. Noah is visibly upset when I wake up and tells me what's going on, I tell him to talk to her. All in all he breaks up with her because of her texts.

I learn after they break up that the whole time Im living there she's been accusing us of sleeping together. And saying that he's gonna leave her for me to everyone around. She told her family that he invited me to live with them and that she never wanted me around. I start actively avoiding her after learning all of this cause I don't want problems I just want a place to stay yk.

She has the baby in april and things between them are alright at the beginning. She tells her family that she never gets any help around the house and starts lying about how much Noah and I do. Specifically that Noah doesn't help with the baby and leaves her alone to do it herself. Mid May she tells him that she wants to move out of state back to be with her family. They can't come to an agreement over custody and she gets cps involved claiming that Noah is abusive and has tried to snatch the baby from her, which isn't true as I live with them and have never seen or heard him do anything along those lines. Cps does a look through of the house and finds nothing wrong but she tells Noah that he needs to do parenting classes based on evidence they have against him and if not they'll open a case for abuse against him. He does what he's told. Earlier that month when he and her talked about her moving out of state he filed for paternal rights and joint custody so she couldn't leave without him having a say. She files after the caseworker comes for emergency custody.

Court things ensue and now at this point cps has opened an active case towards both of them. Neither can be alone with the baby anymore without supervision so his grandmother and mother are watching them with the baby(a big reason for this is because she lied to the judge on the stand about not smoking anything since she's been pregnant. Which is a lie as I've seen her take hits from her bong and vape since she started breastfeeding). Sarah wants me to move out now more than before and has been telling people I make her uncomfortable. For what? I couldn't tell you because I try not to be in the same room as her for all the lies and rumors she's been spreading since before they broke up. Noah is upset with her demand because I'm the only real thing right now that's stopping her from making full claims of abuse against him to the case worker as I can attest to never seeing or hearing that happen. I also don't want to move because I like where I'm living now and it's the only place I can afford but I don't have a lease with them and the mortgage is in both of their names equally. I don't know if she can force me to leave but I would honestly rather just stay because even now she's still talking about moving out herself and everyone is just telling me to move out until she leaves and then I can come back which is stupid af. I don't want to do all of that when I could just stay and we can just live alongside one another peacefully. I'm thinking about just ignoring it until she actually talks with me about it herself because oh yeah she hasn't told me she wants me to move out. No, she's told literally everyone but me. Moving out for me isn't really an option right now anyways, rent there is 450 including utilities. Everywhere else in my area is 700+ without utilities and I've taken a cut in my hours at work so I definitely can't afford that. I need to move out but I'm just stuck. (There are a lot more details and parts of this that I'm leaving out for length so if you have questions just ask.)

This will be a little long, but I’ll try to not over explain!! For context, my roommate and I are both 19 and living in a non traditional renting situation. Her mother is the landlord and we have no signed lease (I am free to leave) and she is also my best friend.

Last school year, we dormed together and her mental health took a bad turn. She ended up dropping out before we moved into the house, but she was seeking mental health treatment. She got a bipolar diagnosis and things briefly improved as she started meds. Long story short, she cannot keep a job, be consistent with meds, clean her areas unless I beg her, and refuses to not live in the living room instead of her bedroom. I love being in a house and having so much space but she is constantly having breakdowns and it’s causing me so much stress I had to go back to therapy and I’m losing my appetite. We had a back and forth and about it and she was hyperventilating and telling me that she’s trying (I’ve heard this for a year) and snapped at me that she’s living with the hardest mental disorder. Okay well I think she’s giving me one too.

Should I keep my lucky (CHEAP) renting situation but be depressed OR move out and risk loosing my best friend?? I know I can be picky about cleaning but I’ve always split things evenly and I’m working 8hr days and in school while she sits on the couch and says she can’t clean past 30 mins. THEN she deep cleans the entire house after I say I may move out. Now I feel a little crazy.

I live in a house with three roommates, my boyfriend (25M), one of his childhood best friends (25M, let’s call him Kyle), and their college buddy (25M, let’s call him Luke). My boyfriend and I share the downstairs portion of the house in the basement, which includes a bedroom, a bathroom, and a larger room with no windows at all.

Long story short, my landlord covered a drain we weren’t aware of with carpeting and after a main drain backup, the carpeting got saturated across half of the windowless room. This happened a couple of months ago. We’ve urged the landlord to replace the carpeting after a mildewy smell has persisted, mold tests coming back positive, and the water backup including the contents of sewage, and water disposal from the sinks, showers, dishes, etc. Because of his refusal outside of a horrible surface level carpet cleaning job, the room still stinks, and we’ve kept the door closed due to my indoor allergies and asthma. Because of several physical symptoms I’ve experienced in that room, I don’t use that bathroom and use the upstairs bathroom.

At first, everything was fine. I had permission from the two other roommates who have their rooms upstairs, and I try to be as quick as possible. I work early (5:30am) so I shower early and it usually takes 30-45 min for me to do my routine. Because I’m a woman of color, it takes time for me to detangle, wash, and condition my afro. Anyways, I got a text one morning from Kyle saying that his poops “are conditioned to come out” within the first 10-15 min of waking up and how I’m not allowed to be in the bathroom for longer than 30 minutes.

Given what I said about the mold and mildew issues downstairs, my hair taking time, and me also having IBS, that’s unrealistic. I told him that he’s always welcome to knock and I can immediately pause so he can relieve himself. I have 5 siblings so I’m used to sharing a bathroom. My boyfriend says Kyle has a couple of siblings too, so I’m surprised he wouldn’t just knock. The text turned into a back and forth where I explained what my reasons were and how he’s welcome to knock, but it went nowhere.

Since this text a couple of months ago, I’ve been noticing pee left in the toilet. I know it’s most likely Kyle the majority of the time, given that Luke went on vacation for a week and this behavior was still happening. Since this has happened multiple times over the past few months, including during the day, it isn’t just a “middle of the night so I don’t wake anyone” situation.

Am I wrong for thinking that’s gross and inconsiderate? How should I address the situation moving forward?

TL;DR: My downstairs bathroom has air quality issues from mold and mildew after a plumbing incident, so I’ve been using the upstairs shared bathroom. After a roommate complained about my bathroom length, I started repeatedly finding unflushed pee in the toilet for months (including during the day). Am I wrong for thinking that’s gross and inconsiderate? How should I address the situation moving forward?