u/CeemaGPT

Good afternoon everyone,

My name is Ceema, and I'm the host of This EVE Life, a Twitch/Podcast show attempting go highlight the vastness of the EVE Player base.

One of my upcoming show arcs is on The Nullsec Experience, and I was trying to book the player known as Fountain Frank, he was some goofball that dressed up on a Twitch Show and spouted off nonsense every other week.

I've asked several folks in The Imperium but they all claim he's not real.

Did I really Bearenstein Affect myself, or was Fountain Frank really a player that existed.

I feel he's got a story to tell but jesus he's hard to find.

Can anyone help me? It's much appreciated.

Hello, I need to ask you fine miners and industrialists for some help.

I was yelled at tonight by Ragnar Schwartzkof for ejecting all the content of my cargo hold as I was mining in in a Punisher, and then I would put all the ore into a space container as my cargo hold wasn't really large.

I heard you can make a lot of money mining, and after I got yelled at in Pure Blind about mining the wrong rocks, I figured I'd try in Geminate with friends and whoo boy was I wrong.

Anyway this rather angry guy pops into Microsoft Teams and starts berating me about how I need to mine in an at least a Venture, and to stop "Jetcanning".

He said I was littering excessively in Geminate and that I needed to stop.

The item I was putting my ore into was not called a Can, nor did it have Jets. I am confused at why he called this Jetcanning, and why it's apparently forbidden in nullsec.

Can anyone shed some light on this? Should I not do this, is it really so wrong to eject all the ore and then come back later in a Brutix and collect?

Thanks in advance for any help. Rangar wouldn't elaborate and then talked about his pet parrot who could be heard swearing at him in the background of Microsoft Teams.

I wake up at 7:30 AM to the voice of Asher Elias Alarm telling me I'm a good bee, courtesy of INN's Zedge Account Alarm Tone's. It's required for membership to Beehive and while I needed that $9.95 for Starbucks today, I also want to earn paps for doing the least amount of work.

So I paid $9.95 to INN so I can earn paps sitting on tether as part of a Nanogang Destroying Capital Umbrella. It was either that, or join BFL but I'm an F1 Monkey, my skills are to low for that.

I start the day, by listening to ApplePear spend 30 minutes struggling to make a joke but it just ends up being some 15 minute German fishing proverb in Mumble as I get my FAX Alt, Rorqual Alt #1, Rorqual Alt#2 and Marshal Main and Alt #1,4,7,8 ready to hot drop on the innocent nanogangers. I make sure PCAnywhere is ready to go so I can press F1 from my phone when the Jabber ping comes out as for some goddamn reason my alliance still uses jabber in the year of our lord 2026 versus Microsoft Teams.

I go to Reddit, and write a shitpost about TEST Alliance Please Ignore to earn my $5 a day in Redditswarm PLEX. It's not a great shitpost but then again, I'm a Goon so it falls about as short as Hellen Keller playing horsehoes.

On my way to work while earning paps doing nothing, I watch Brosiedon and Leraine yap about how much they hate Nanoganger's and FC Okami and how YoungPuke is really just THAT ONE DUDE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED 2.0 in the EVE Online Discord's #nullsec channel while ISD Drew watches ready to mute folks if it gets out of hand like those dirty filty #pochven folks.

I get to work and miss the first Jabber Ping while discussing the corp mining op tonight with The Standing Fleet Guy who does nothing but join Standing Fleet and yell about how he can't hot drop on Nanoganger's with his Dread in the ESS anymore. He's earned about as little PAPs as possible but for some reason is still in our corp.

I go to lunch and order two #4 combo's from my fast food place just to spite Merkelchen, Joe Painter and Tachypnea Starhop who strive to help my fat ass eat healthier and exercise after a nanoganger called me fat on stream once. I need the greater center of gravity anyway, as I spent all my money on a new video card and 65 GB of RGB RAM to multibox my 500 accounts vs replace the shocks and struts in my car. Something has to hold the frame down when I hit a speed bump.

I end the day like all Goonswarm Members do, opening up Twitch and watching Asher commentate on Sumo Wrestling, and practicing my my AAAH voice for the next AAH Chain even though my mom tells me to shut the fuck up she's trying to sleep.

I go to bed happy knowing I've earned 10B in SRP today and 500 PAPs courtesy of my Alliances Capital Umbrella that INIT is stupid for not having.

Good afternoon,

Years ago, BRAVE Newbies tried to spin off their own thing in the form of B3, only to be relentlessly farmed by the aformentioned groups for content, forcing B3 to disband, and making them have to join The Imperium to survive.

Due to this, there are now only 3 nullsec power groups remaining and FC Okami had to step in and use Copilot to write patch notes about Ansiblex changes forthcoming that made everyone unhappy, after coming under pressure from a well intentioned Youngpuke who tried to save us all from ourselves but forgot about FC Monkeyspaw.

So now, BRAVE will likely be disbanding and corps joining GSF to keep ansi networks intact.

So while we all need to give Bazzalisk, Phantomite and Sir Puke a round of applause for at least trying where our CSM failed, the root cause of this is greed and poor decision making by Hedliner and Norous.

If you're angry about todays patch notes, blame them, not FC or Nanogangers. This isn't on them, this is the avalanche of shit started by those two.

Thank you for your time.

Also Dreddit is recruiting.

Good afternoon,

After seeing a bunch of complaining here, I went to Staples and bought a bunch of bankers boxes and with my EVE Client open, wrote "Miner#1, Ishtar Box #1, PI Alt 31" etc on them and then assembled with the game client open.

I saw absolutely no ISK Per Hour increase at all, and now I have to carry like 30 Bankers boxes out of my office, and to the recycle bin. What a waste of $100.

However while doing all of this, I realized something. Why in the name of modern science to we have an align mechanic in game anymore?

This isn't Star Trek; we're all in pods, we don't need time to look good on camera. This is supposed to be a super hard sci fi game, and in Sci Fi warp drive means instant travel, even Niel DeGrass Tyson knows this.

Also, what the hell is with the warp tunnel affect? All the green and orange stretchy lines, like an elongated piece of hard candy that you're warping through like an ant hitting the jackpot.

Only its not a jackpot. First I have to fucking align my ship to some obscure point, usually in a hurry as Goonswarm FC's suck at instructions so its usually Arkadios shouting "ALIGN, ALIGN" while CJ Alyn shouts over him "GUYS GUYS CMON ANCHOR UP" and I'm like the fuck I can't both anchor up AND be aligned, all for the terrible showing by CCP's Art Team at the siezure inducing backrooms looking warp affect of orange and green lines cuz I have to play in Potato Mode due to Tidi.

I'm not saying remove Warp, or anything that drastic. I would propose we just replace with Ansiblexes that instantly teleport you to the target system, no fancy graphics or nonsense. Just right click, instant travel, like Steven Hawking intended.

Thank you for listening to my frustrated rant, now I have to go find a use for 30 bankers boxes after trying to find out what the hell "Multiboxing" was about and why it was so bad.

Good afternoon,

While on my way in a very pricey ship to act as a Stream Backround, I was ambushed by some pirate jackasses in like 200 ships and killed.

Killmail is below

https://zkillboard.com/kill/136636666/

This was a major inconvenience to me as a nullsec streamer as I was forces to take 3 jumps without an Ansiblex in highsec.

While I was not live at the time, I did not consent to this incredibly damaging loss to my precious time and ISK.

Which of you CSM types will stand up for us fragile EVE Streamers and make this type of activity illegal in this, a PVP Game?

I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR REPLY.

-Ceema

New EVE Streamer

Pirate Gank Victim

Hello!

I just got my tickets to FanFest 2027 and unfortunately due to an industrial accident a few years ago at a Subwoofer factory, I can't fly in planes anymore.

One of the new people on our shift crossed a few wires and blew a woofer. The resulting noise was super loud and damaged my ear drums. The doctors said I need to be careful while traveling and so I've been forced to drive or use Amtrak to get anywhere when I travel.

Needless to say, I don't recommend getting your woofers blown. It's an over rated experience as it makes playing logi difficult, especially when a lot of alliance FC's are super quiet on mumble.

That said, I have booked a train to Maine and have reserved a car at Enterprise, but I'm not familiar with the area, anyone know a good route from Nova Scotia to Iceland by road? Google Earth was of no help and I figure since EVE Online has Dotlan Wizardy I'd ask you all for some travel advice

https://preview.redd.it/1nnp7epoo89h1.png?width=424&format=png&auto=webp&s=083c1b1f95289ed66b1dd7ed71ab6fedd59d7d30

Thanks in advance for your help. I look forward to getting there!

Good afternoon,

I finally skilled into an Erebus tonight after a year spent doing high risk abyssal's and mining operations to afford the ship, skillpoints and modules

I've got my fit early all built I spent the time to get Capital Blaster and and Capital Autocannon Weapon Specialization to V.

I just asked in fleet and got laughed the muted on Mumble. Given this subreddit is filled with amazingly skilled fitting peoples and that my own alliance laughed at me, I'll ask you all.

Blaster Erebus or AutoCannon Erebus?

Good afternoon,

I'm sitting at a bar right now, and there are two college age men yelling at each other over the rock band putting on a show about who would win in a slap fight, Lizzie Borden (Post Industrial Revolution MidWest) or Tayna Harding (90's Grunge West Coast).

Apparently Lizzie Borden could "Dead Lift A Lot" and Tanya Harding had "Above Average" Cardio per these two yelling. In theory Miss Borden has more strength than Mrs Harding, whereas Mrs Harding has Extraordinary Stamina.

Both have equal intelligence and cunning, Mrs Harding has more guile, Miss Borden can lie outrageously. The problem here is they're both evenly matched, per these two clowns shouting match.

Clearly these two American History Season 3 Champions would be fighting in a neutral territory, so we'll say Waffle House. Furniture isn't off limits, but the Kitchen's Implements would be blocked blocked by the Waffle House Staff via OSHA regulations. The fight would 3 rounds of 10 minutes each, or at least until the Hash Browns are cold.

The Guest Referee would be Nancy Kerrigan.

Can you folks as this subreddit analyze and solve this argument so I can shove my phone screen into their faces so they can shut up and I can go back to enjoying this rock band?

Thanks immensely!

I made a new alt last night so I could begin grinding out achievments in the game and when I undocked this AM, I saw some player named Convict flying a Titan.

I thought this new Concordium zone was for new players only?

This seems unfair that some super nerd was able to grind out the Titan achievment so quickly in the new zone.

What gives CCP?

Hello,

I seem to have accumulated a lot of these points over the last several events. I have damn near 90k.

I don't really have anything to really use them on, and was wondering if I could exchange them for nights at a hotel in Greenland for next years Fan Festival, given the skyrocketing cost of airfare like I can do with my Capital One Rewards card Samuel L Jackson yelled at me into getting.

Has anyone been able to do this?

Why does this guy talking hate EVE players?

Good afternoon,

After reading a series of community proposals and arguments in the EVE Online Discord where players Phantomite and Bazzalisk performed almost near TOS Violation level of Harassment and attempts to shame sitting CSM Ariel Rin by posting AI slop of him kissing EVE Has Been Brusc Rubal, I sat down and formulated a plan I feel is an equitable solution to Nullsec Power Projection so that smaller groups can take over sections of Nullsec that are held in stasis by The Final Coalition of The Initiative, Winter Coalition, and Goonswarm.

This should solve all the fucking arguing and we can then move into more important topics in the discord, like holy shit has anyone checked on FC Concvict, is he okay after all those shots?

Anyway, my proposal, and future platform for my CSM 21 run:

A: Require AI Captcha's that force you to solve real life science questions using Gemeni as to prove you're not a bot, and create fatigue like affects while not causing actual jump fatique to players.

B: Introduce BlockChain Transaction so iHubs; Small gangs with a better IT Team can take over sov from bigger groups by inserting their own blockchain into iHubs. This will replace Entosising.

B.1: Players can also claim sov by dropping a Player Owned Structure at every moon in a star system. Once the final "POS" is anchored, they get the system by default w/ a 24 hour cool down timer for former occupants to defend.

C: Replace the CSM with six AI Agents that are fed r/eve and #nullsec chatter from the EVE Discord to propose solutions to CCP Swift and Zelus so they can implement them in the game.

D: Make newly employed CCP Gobbins fix Tidi by using AI to fix POS code and thus be able to implement Stacked Python 4.

Also lets just fucking remove local chat, make that a PLEX+ Evermark purchase by the sov holding alliance.

Thank you for your attention to this mater, for formal complaints please reach out to my space boss, Weeb Michael, king of the EVE Online Discord and defender of New Players from Carlos Warren.

POINT OF CLARIFICATION

I stole every single idea in this post from Mr Keyweebird in the EVE Online Discord, from the #Nullsec channel, Goonswarms #1 fan.

Please upvote him.

Good afternoon,

Earlier today while I was out getting gas, I got discord DM demanding I return home and write a FanFest prediction from my space boss, Brisc Rubal.

I spent an hour digging into this and found this man had politely requested the prediction post so here we go:

https://preview.redd.it/mfi326cw880h1.png?width=439&format=png&auto=webp&s=1202fb52ae90fd0cc711f54af38e75710b9a856e

#1: Gobbins is now FC Phage , will join the Frontier Team as the CFO for their Blockchain wallet.

#2: Google is going to give everyone with a Omega subscription free access to their Gemeni Advanced level of AI Platform to add value to the EVE Online Subscription.

#3 Twitch EVE Online Player DJ Mind1 will be invited back into the FC Partner Program, and FC Bee will apologize for being a bit overzealous and incredibly rude to Mind1 and his Team.

Mind1 will then perform on stage after a hug it out session.

#4 Asher Elias, king of New Eden, Emperor of Nullsec will come out on stage and be revealed as none other than the Alphabet rep who put the Google/Fenris Creation deal.

#5 Major Updates will be announced for Vanguard and Frontier, Swift, Zelus, Convict and Jotunn will announce a major 24 hour downtime to the game EVE Online to allow code upgrades that have been done and tested in Frontier, including Stackless Python 4, eliminating POS Code entirely, and reducing Tidi by 20% when needed.

#6 Fenris Creation will be partnering with Rockstar for the next In Game Event tied to the release of Grand Theft Auto 6 where you can fly EVE Ships around Leonida and commit crimes, or carjack cars in Keepstars and influence Faction Warfare maps.

This has been a FanFest Prediction post. Thank you for your time.

EVE Online Tastemaker

Ceema

KarmaFleet Director of Sheet Cake, Birthday Cards, and annoying Ross July