What orientation am I?
I am a masc woman, I do like both feminine women and masculine women romantically, but I less likely to be attracted to look at them, and I like seeing handsome men more, both for inspiration for me to copy or to just see it as aesthetically pleasing.
I prefer BL much more than GL. It's so rare for me to read lesbian romance or porn, while I always read BL romance or video edits everyday. For me romance and sex between two guys are so much cute and romantic.
However, I sometimes fantasizing myself having sex with some woman that have certain personality and look. I can be both top or bottom. I also have imaginary girlfriends.
I only like men if I am the top or the dominan, both in sex and life, and I am the bigger and taller one (which almost impossible if he doesn't have some type of dwarfism, and I can't increase my height anymore). I always fantazising myself being the top/seme man when it comes to gay relationship.
But I also realize real life sex by yourself and your partner can be disgusting as f*ck.
Gay penetration and me doing penetration may feels great if it's really like in manhwa and I want to be the one who penetrate, but I know in real life it's really disgusting if the bottom don't douche meticulously.
Lesbian sex is more tolerable, but imagining doing real life scissoring is still disgusting.
What orientation actually am I?