Nephew touched daughter inappropriately
My 4.5 year old nephew tried to stick his finger up my 2 year old’s butt over her clothes in a very public place. He repeatedly said “up the butt it goes” gesturing to our daughter with his finger. My husband immediately told him several times to stop and not to say that around our daughter, but he didn’t listen and physically tried to do it to her. Thankfully she is still in diapers, so she didn’t really know anything happened. While my in-laws’ passive parenting style is their choice, it is not acceptable for my daughter to be violated because “no” doesn’t mean “no” in their household. He tried tickling her privates previously (over her diaper), so it is becoming a pattern. It happened so fast both times. I immediately picked her up, but my nephew wouldn’t listen to my husband and didn’t think he did anything wrong. I put her back down and my nephew immediately tried touching her again.
My first feeling was rage. NO ONE lays a hand on our daughter. My second feeling was fear for what may have happened to my nephew for him to act this way. He doesn’t respect any sort of authority, especially women. He acts/speaks as if he is younger than he is, and he casually mentioned that he dreamt about someone touching him which caught all of the adults off guard. Children don’t learn these things by magic.
How can I keep my daughter safe from him when they are staying with us? Currently, our daughter sleeps in our room when they are here and he is not allowed to touch her anymore or be alone with her.
Also, would it be out of line for me to communicate these concerns to my SIL? My husband said he told her what happened with our daughter most recently (she still doesn’t know about the previous touching), but I feel like I need to speak up for my daughter so my SIL knows I am really freaked out about all of this. I’m also really worried about him and I’m worried about what may happened to my daughter if this behavior continues.
Let me know if there’s a better subreddit for this type of discussion.