My [23F] husband’s [24M] relationship with his three brothers is in ruins after an incident with MIL, and I don’t know how to help.
My husband (24M) and I (23F) have been married for about 3 years and together since we were teens. Last year, we had our first child.
I’ve always had a mixed relationship with his immediate family—I used to be incredibly close with his older brother, pleasant but not close with his father and other brothers, and his MIL absolutely hated me before she even met me (boy mom™)
This story isn’t about my MIL, so for the sake of time, let’s just say she was physically abusive to me 6 weeks postpartum. Afterwards, she told everyone in her social circle that I was the one who did something (even though the entire altercation was caught on a security camera).
Ever since that incident, my husband’s brothers completely refuse to talk to him. At the time, he was still on his family's phone plan, and his mother canceled it immediately after the fight, so he had to get a new number. He’s repeatedly reached out to all three of his brothers from his new number, but they just ignore him. Neither of us truly know what they think happened; we've only heard through the grapevine a vague idea of what lies MIL told them.
The older brother I mentioned being close to used to talk to me almost every single day. My husband and I both found it incredibly odd that he never reached out to me after the assault. Over the last few months, there have been times my husband hinted that I should try calling or texting him, but I held off. I finally gave in and texted him yesterday, and he immediately blocked me.
I don’t think my husband blames me for any of this, but I can’t help feeling like it’s my fault and my responsibility to fix it. He has been so deeply depressed ever since he lost his family.
How do I navigate this? I don’t know how to suggest to him that he needs to start grieving the loss of these relationships, because honestly, I don’t think his brothers even WANT to repair things. Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: MIL physically assaulted me 6 weeks postpartum and lied to the family about it. Now, my husband's three brothers have completely cut him off. He is deeply depressed, and his older brother just blocked me when I finally reached out. How do I help him process losing his family?