Budgeting and the thought of carrying the load alone for years
I’m a single mom, and financially, things are just really hard right now. I’m literally counting pennies to put gas in my car some weeks.
I’m dating someone who is genuinely kind, loving, and cares deeply about me (I think). This isn’t a “he’s a bad guy” post. He’s a good man.
But I’m struggling with something bigger.
I’m carrying the full weight of my household alone, and I honestly don’t know if I can sustain this for several more years. He has said he can’t change his living situation/address because his kids need the address for school, and I do understand that…
But here’s where I struggle: his kids are older their other parent made the choice to move out of the school zone for her own reasons to live with a partner, while still relying on his address to maintain that stability. Meanwhile, I’m being asked to continue carrying the financial weight of my own household alone for years because of a decision that wasn’t even his.
And I keep asking myself… where does that leave me?
Because while I’m drowning trying to keep everything afloat, it feels like I’m being asked to just keep pushing indefinitely with no actual partnership in sight. Meanwhile, his co-parent has the benefit of living with a partner, so that household has shared support, while I’m over here doing everything alone.
And I hate that this even sounds like it’s about money, because it’s not really about money. It’s about partnership. It’s about building a life with someone where the hard parts aren’t always carried by one person.
I love him. A lot. But I love myself and my kids too. And constant financial stress, survival mode, and carrying everything alone is exhausting.
Is it unreasonable to want a partner who can actually help build a shared life with me not someday in some vague future, but in a real, tangible way? Especially when the barrier feels tied to maintaining a situation created by someone else’s choices?
edit: I make more, my home I own alone is affordable and would provide us with $3000 of extra funds a month
my mortgage rate is extremely low and his rent is 4x what I pay. he’s also struggling..
r/singlemoms