When I was about 20, I was suffering bad, and started seeking enlightenment to free myself from the hell of existence in samsara or whatever this is. I didn't know what enlightenment is and had no idea how you find it, they were selling salvia divinorum legally back then, and I decided to try that as a doorway. I went into it with nothing to lose, so I big quantity and I forgot who I was or where I'd come from. It was really harsh, I was in a bad place for what felt like a whole lifetime. I couldn't remember where I'd come from. I couldn't think or perceive anything beyond the alien dimension I was trapped in. In there, I was at war with my environment. I wanted to escape or transcend that place and I knew there must be something more to reality but I couldn't access it or perceive it in any way, my mind just couldn't go beyond that alien dimension. I didn't actually know if it's possible or not to go beyond.
I decided that I'm gonna transcend, whether it's possible or not I'm gonna do it. It was suffering that made me decide. When things are harsh enough that you have no choice, you have to overcome. So, I spent a long, LONG time seeking a way out of that place. It got more and more hopeless as time went on because all my attempts where futile. But when I exhausted all other options, I found the key. As I found it, I came back to this world. And I recognised that we are all one consciousness. And that my suffering was always caused by forgetting my oneness with all that is. But the realization only lasted a few seconds. I didn't get it, I was seeking enlightenment, not some observation which doesn't. So I did it again. Same thing happened. So I tried again. Same thing happened. I never ever did that again, because 3 times, with my logic back then, that meant that where I went was real. The idea of going back there scared me.
It took me nearly 20 years to integrate this. Now I can speak it. So, if we knew the truth of what we are and how that relates to existence, we wont suffer, we will be at peace, happy, completely content with all that is. I can feel that as im saying it, I wonder does it transmit. Everything is perfect because when you are all that is, it can only be perfect, because anything that appears to be imperfect is only something that appears separate from the whole, but when seen as at one with God, it is perfect.
It hurts real bad to look at the suffering in this world, what the fuck, but this is where this wisdom blesses me and eases that suffering. Belief in separation is the root of all suffering. So if we can uproot this illusion, in whatever ways that flow, we can liberate ourselves and others from suffering.