Something clicked and I suddenly have an idea of what I’m doing. It’s nice to know what I’m doing but terrible see what I’ve done…
I’ve been practicing for about a year. It just started clicking for me about a month ago. I don’t really know how to explain it but now I almost feel like I know what I’m doing as opposed to every email, motion, pleading, responsibility, record, etc… felt like a complete curve ball.
It’s great to feel like I am getting the hang of it, but it’s terrible to touch base or work on cases I handled from my first months in the position and to see how much differently I could/would have handled it now that would have been so much more effective.
It’s genuinely concerning to know how much less effective I was than I am (and could foreseeably be). I feel like I basically committed malpractice by being inexperienced. Which makes me further concerned about how I’ll feel about my current work, assuming I haven’t been disbarred, in 5 years.
I’m having an existential crisis and I don’t know whether to quit, push on, or turn myself into the state bar for being less inexperienced.
Thanks for reading my rant at 250+ an hour.