What is wrong with me
Ive had a serious gambling addiction since around 13. It began with fifa packs as young as 11/12, then progressed to blackjack/ cs gambling, and then into casino gambling in general/ day trading. Struggled alot, even sunk hours into watching slots even while at highschool, its been eating away at my life bit by bit since even then. I got into weed in covid which has only ever made the gambling addiction worse, so many times i had a healthy present mind and its tsken me down a dark path. Im now about to turn 24, i started my first serious job 6 weeks ago which was meant to be a real turning point. 3 weeks ago my dad seperated with my mum and left us, since then ive lost another £880. Total im somewhere around £30,000 down. In the last 24hrs i gambled £500 and then walk down to my mum saying she cant just buy what she wants anymore due to financial pressure. All i feel is shame, helplessness and most of all guilt. Im writing this as another line in the sand. I cant continue doing this. Would love an accountability partner if anyones interested.