u/ChaosCutieXo

A few days after I made my first post, she messaged me again asking why I'd been avoiding her and if I was really going to throw away our friendship over one comment. I decided to be honest. I told her it wasn't just one comment. She repeatedly called my boyfriend a crackhead, joked that he looked like he had an addiction, and kept going even after I told her it wasn't okay. I explained that if she'd actually been worried about his health, there were a hundred kinder ways to say it.

Instead of apologizing, she told me I was being way too sensitive and that she was just brutally honest.She even doubled down and said she still thinks he looks unhealthy and that someone had to say it. At that point I realized nothing I said was getting through to her. She wasn't sorry that she'd hurt me or embarrassed my boyfriend, she was just annoyed that I didn't laugh it off.

So I told her I didn't think we were the kind of friends who brought out the best in each other anymore and wished her the best. She hasn't replied since.

Honestly, I feel a lot more at peace now. I realized I wasn't ending the friendship because of one bad joke. I was ending it because when someone I cared about told her she'd crossed a line, her first instinct was to defend herself instead of taking any responsibility.

My boyfriend also admitted later that the comments bothered him more than he let on. He just didn't want to make the dinner even more awkward. Hearing that made me feel even more certain I made the right decision.

I guess that's where things stand now. I don't hate her, and I genuinely wish her the best, but I also don't regret walking away. Sometimes losing a friendship is better than constantly questioning whether your feelings are valid. So.. AITH again for deciding to end the friendship after finally having that conversation?

My boyfriend (28M) is naturally slim. He’s always been on the skinny side, but he eats well, is healthy, and I’ve never had an issue with his body type. It’s just how he is.

A few weeks ago, I (26F) went out for dinner with a close friend (26F) who I hadn’t seen in a while since she had been living abroad. We were catching up and everything was going fine until she met my boyfriend in person for the first time in a long time. During dinner, she suddenly started commenting on how skinny he is, saying he looks like he needs to eat more, and then took it further by saying he looked like a crackhead or someone struggling with addiction. She even joked that he looked unhealthy and that I should make him go to the gym or fix it, which honestly shocked me.

I told her I don’t see him that way at all, that he’s healthy, and that it wasn’t an appropriate thing to say. The rest of the dinner felt really uncomfortable after that. Since then, I’ve felt really off about her. I haven’t reached out, and when she messaged asking if I was upset, I didn’t really respond because I just feel like I need distance now.

Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting by pulling away or if it’s reasonable to step back from the friendship. so AITA?