Hi everyone, last time I posted here I got a couple of suggestions that the letter could be more specific, and one person also suggested to add a little more about the playwright/actor connection. So I've been working on that. I know that the letter is still a bit wordy so would appreciate hearing about any sentences that IYO could be taken out.
Thanks for looking. I probably won't post it again here after this - I get the impression people here don't care for my subject matter and it's discouraging after a while to post and see other queries get upvoted but not get the same interest.
I do appreciate getting constructive feedback though as I'm really trying to get it as good as can be. I feel confident about my novel pages but the letter is a work in progress, so thank you very much in advance.
Edited to add: Thank you all for the helpful feedback! I've started doing a full edit and I think it's already getting better - will try to post the next draft next week.
Dear _____,
I am excited to present SPARKS, a dual POV upmarket novel complete at 87,000 words. It will appeal to readers who like the tenderness of Curtis Sittenfeld's Romantic Comedy and the humor of Caroline O'Donoghue's The Rachel Incident. (I thought this could work well with your list --personalization)
Hayley, an actor/administrative assistant, loves the laidback vibe at Max's, a cozy bar in Brooklyn. While there she meets Aaron, an attractive playwright with a kind, sensitive side. They both enjoy the friendly bartenders and getting into debates about indie rock music. And with their shared love of the theater, they relate to each other very well. Hayley becomes increasingly attracted to Aaron as she gets to know him better. But there's one problem: he's married.
Aaron works hard at his craft and goes to happy hour to relax and unwind. His wife is often out of town for her consulting work. He likes chatting with Hayley about his play or offering career advice when she needs it. They relate really well to each other. Their relationship gradually turns deeper as they start to exchange confidences and turn to each other for support. Although their pals warn them that a friendship like this could be dangerous, both Aaron and Hayley feel they have it under control. But as the months go by, they get increasingly closer, and their deep friendship starts to get more complicated.
They decide to pursue a future together. Despite strains in his marriage, Aaron struggles with the best way to end it. Hayley doesn’t want anyone to get hurt in all of this, including herself. Eventually they have to decide if taking a chance on each other is a huge mistake or the best thing that could ever happen.
I am a fiction writer living in Brooklyn. I work as an administrative assistant and have acted in several plays over the years. This is my first novel.
My opening pages are provided below. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,