u/ChaoticQueen666

Hellooooo, I wanted to ask if anyone has any knowledge that's backed by scientific studies. This is also a bit of a rant for me as I'm in a sorta pickle?

So I've been going to the gym more often. I've always had a bit of a desire for more muscle tone, and I've been overweight for most of my life, so I've been more motivated to go to the gym. I try to include cardio in my workouts for at least 20 minutes each time, either running or using a stepper, depending on what sports bras I have available and such. I've also been using the weight machines, focusing on heavier weights for legs and a balance between moderate weight, longer reps, and a good challenge weight for my upper body.

I think I've settled on the idea of recomp versus straight weight loss, and I've calculated my calorie deficit to around 1650-1700 cal. The calculations have me aiming for 140g protein a day. I try to track my calories and protein daily, and I've had more good days than bad days, so I consider that a win :). In case anyone is curious, I'm f24, 5'1".

I'm partly frustrated because I'm in a transitional stage in my life. I'm back home after finishing an educational program, and all I'm doing is studying for upcoming important exams. I'm very lucky to have a place to stay and have family willing to take care of me, but... It's a lot. My family is very upset if I don't eat organic and whole foods, which is understandable, but to the point where they lectured me repeatedly after I got a Fage or Chobani Greek yogurt from Safeway. I'm especially frustrated today as one of my family members saw me put whey isolate into my shaker, which I drink right after my workout, and when I came back from the gym, my entire new-ish container was gone. They urged me to just eat lean and small for a month, not go heavy on protein, and then get rid of my container, like taking away my choice to even decide if that was a better alternative...

The thing that I'm conflicted about is that I don't know what's correct here. I don't know if it would be better for me to try to focus on just exercising without having to put in 140 grams of protein, and when I do, I get constant talks about how I'm slowly destroying my organs with all this extra protein, especially my kidneys. I don't think I would be so conflicted if it were from someone who knows nothing, but this is the family member with a science background and is by far one of the healthiest people in my family. However, I do know that their background with exercise has been exclusively running and Bar/Pilates, so... whats the science? Would I be better off just ignoring it and being sneaky with my protein intake, or are they right about limiting myself to fiber-rich foods and a certain amount of protein, despite all the stuff I've been told? I'm not sure what to do. I feel very frustrated at this point, I'm feeling almost... I don't want to say gaslit, but nothing I say is really sticking with them. I just want to know whats the best, and even tho its very nuanced with each person, whats the 'right' thing to do? For context, I've only been working out consistently for almost 3 months after a long hiatus (I was in a difficult academic position), so I know it'll take a lot longer to see real change and results.

And please don't say anything about family being overbearing and stuff. I'm used to the body talking a lot, have had it all my life, and I'm trying to brush it off. It's simply one of those things you have to learn to deal with, and I know it's not the healthiest from some people's perspective, but I am very lucky to have family who do care about me a lot. Even if it sometimes upsets me.