u/Chaoticgoods9924

I worked hard this past year, and thankfully I’m able to transfer to a higher ranked school. Even though I literally didn’t do anything besides study, I tried really hard not to be a gunner during class, and I was genuinely nice to people and made some great friends in my old school.

Would it be weird to have a send off dinner? It’s not like I’m going to invite my whole class, but I also don’t want to rub it in people’s faces.

Even though I feel like everyone I call my friends at school will be happy for me, there was definitely a really awkward period when people were getting their internships/big law offers, and I want to be mindful of the reputation I’m leaving behind!

I’m a straight woman in my 30s, and I’ve been single my entire life which I guess technically makes me an incel. I’ve seen a lot of posts/advice for males but not a lot of advice for women who are chronically alone! And I mean genuinely single, no situationships or talking stages, never been on a date, never kissed anyone, never had sex etc.

I’ve done all the things everyone says, gone to therapy, focused on my education, worked at some of the top companies, solo traveled, I know my weight is an obstacle and I’ve lost 40 pounds but still have more to go, I have friends all around the world but it’s no surprise that they cannot prioritize our friendship like I can because they’re in relationships, I’m in social clubs/volunteering etc. I know self improvement is a journey and we all should continuously evolve and invest in ourselves.

I believed the whole it comes when you least expect it/stop looking, so I didn’t download dating apps or anything, but even with as “successful” as my life is on paper, I still can’t help feeling lonely. For example, I realized I didn’t even say a word out loud yesterday because my plans with friends got cancelled. It’s awkward to have nothing to contribute when people at work or even my friends talk about their relationships which seems to be all the time.

I decided to be a bit more intentional about dating and downloaded a few app, but it’s been several days I haven’t gotten any matches. I also went out with friends to more social bars, and my friends got chatted up but no one approached me and when I tried to initiate the handful of guys I tried to talk to kind of just turned away and shuffled off. And I know decenter men and the dating pool is trash, but everyone is still swimming in that pool of trash to try and find their person while I can’t even figure out how to get in the pool.

I guess my question is, how do you deal with the fact that love might never happen for you? And how do you deal with the realization that you’re societally unattractive? I want to specify I don’t think I’m ugly, and I’ve worked a lot on my self esteem, but like I can’t marry myself lol. Should I look at investing in plastic surgery? How can I identify a guy I should approach or signal to a guy to approach me when I literally don’t have any practice with flirting?

Has someone who was top ~30% at a T75 ever successfully transferred to a T14?

If so, what do you think made your application stand out?

Just venting, but I cannot believe transferring is treated as a new application and you lose your grad plus loans. The whole point of busting my but last semester and this semester even though I have an internship lined up, is so I can fulfill my dream of maybe getting accepted into Columbia as a transfer student. I knew I would have to pay out of pocket and was okay taking on $200k in loans to fund this, but now it feels like my dream is being taken away from me.