I’m posting to help my brother navigate a shitty situation. My brother 36M and his wife 30F are currently separated after 11 years together. She asked for a divorce but they haven’t actually started the process yet (no court involved). They are living in separate homes and have a custody schedule with their 4 year old son.
His wife is talking to someone else that doesn’t live around us. They talk over the phone and have met once in person. The new guy can’t move around us until February at the earliest. If it gets to that point, we are concerned about the new partner being around their son.
So my question is, how long should one wait before introducing a new partner to your kids? We think 6 months minimum and she got angry and said that’s too long (because they would have been talking via phone for a year at that point).
Honestly, we actually think it should be longer, even a year. We believe that you need consistent, in person time to truly know a person and if the relationship will work. You need to know those things before bringing kids into the relationship, especially a kid so young.
Your opinions and experiences are appreciated!
Edit to add: there is no court involvement yet. We are just looking for other peoples opinions as we haven't dealt with this before