u/Chapter-Best

Learning that your a bad person is the easy part, but actually going back to reflect is the hardest part.
18M, and I'm not saying this because I've committed some grand atrocity or anything. It just feels like I've done nothing with my life up to this point. I graduated High School on May 27th, and I've done nothing spectacular. Did a couple of sports here and there, stayed out of trouble, kept my grades up for the most part, but this still feels wrong.
I feel like I've wasted so much time doing nothing. I have no friends, never had a girlfriend, and I've watched all the people whom I ever felt truly believed I could be something die sick in a hospital. My own rather long abandoned me shortly after I was born and died some years back as well.
I feel like I've done myself a disservice because I know I can be more than this.

18M, My own father went off and abandoned me and then died a few years back, so I can’t ask him. But, What is fatherhood supposed to mean?

I understand the idea, but I’ve found myself frustrated with something lately. My entire life, I’ve had abandonment issues due to my mother being emotionally distant, but primarily by father being absent. I spent my entire life growing up only knowing the father being the provider. Thats it. I’ve been terribly lonely lately, so maybe my ideations of having a family have taken over lately.

I’ve spent my entire life up to this point fighting for a place in my own life, to see myself as a human being just like anyone else. I don’t want to feel like people only need me around to provide something for them. I want to be a father eventually, but I just can’t imagine how you all do it. It feels like I’d just be walking one step forward to take ten steps back. How are you supposed to be more than a provider to a family? Is that all there really is to be as a man?

18M, 168 lbs. I’ve been wanting to do so for a long time but I never got to it. I’ve been craving to learn Jiu Jutsu recently especially. I’ve already done boxing and wrestling thus far and wanted to branch out. But it feels like I’m a complete geezer. What do I do 🦦💔💔💔