My friend might have a lot of microagressions towards me without realizing it
**TL;DR;** : is my friend being subtly racist without realizing it or am I overthinking?
(I hope this is the right subreddit for this..)
For a bit of context I 20F have a friend also 20F who is white. I’m from a very Chinese household and we are also from very different economic statuses. This friend is in a trio with me and the third friend is also a white female.
Lately I have been noticing that the two of them see to like talking more to each other of the side, (ex. texting separately or just holding lots of side convos when we are together) I don’t mind obviously, but this one friend (let’s call her B) has been making comments that’s rubbing me the wrong way.
It feels more and more like me and B don’t have very similar interests which i wouldn’t think is a problem but B has been making me feel weird abt it. Often times she tries to talk about movies i have never heard or seen of and she always says something along the line of “what? That’s so weird” or “I guess you have no taste then.” And this applies for music too. For some further context think movies like Dead Poets Society, bands like the Smiths (I think that’s the name?)
Obviously I’m not going to call these things “white” but I definitely grew up watching way different things. I have tried to explain that to her but she just brushes it off. I’ve noticed her increasingly butting into conversations between me and the other friend in our trio just to talk about these medias. The other friend (Let’s call her V) usually has seen/heard whatever she’s talking about so they’ll end up holding a long ass convo about it. This usually ends up with me feeling left out.
The reason I’m not really talking about V is because she is really open about learning about Chinese culture and doesn’t patronize me in anyway. Whereas B likes to say stuff like “I never want to learn Chinese or go to China” V is really open about learning about my culture. And she usually adapts the convo to include me.
I don’t want to call B racist, but I don’t know how to talk to her about feeling excluded sometimes. I know she probably doesn’t mean it but I feel really shitty whenever she says “bro you know like nothing” or “did you not watch this growing up?”
Another thing to note is our economic status. My family never had the money to go to movie theaters or even for subscriptions and I feel super embarrassed having to admit that. Like maybe I would know more if this “popculture” if I had that luxury growing up.
So it just feels like whenever I end up talking to her the convo just ends with her resorting to talking with her other friend. I really like hanging out with her but I don’t know what to do. She’s always talking about these movies, songs, and books that I’ve never heard of and she’s always calling me weird for not knowing. What do I do? How do I approach her about this making me feel shitty as hell? Am I overthinking this by calling her racist?