I want to ask my host sister (let’s call her 🙈) from HS (foreign exchange student who stayed with our family the year after I graduated HS) to be my MOH. She is such a positive and kind person and always is the sweetest and kindest soul she was there when I first met my Fiancé and we were so close that I would tell her everything. Anytime anyone would need support she was always there and so supportive.
She went back home after a year (7years ago now) and we talk on occasion but not as often as I would like to. She got engaged this year in February and I am so happy for her and we talked about it and we are both excited. I got engaged in beginning of April and she was one of the first people I told, she was also very excited for me and said we were twins. I would love to talk to her more about wedding planning and everything and I’ve decided that I would love for her to be my MOH but I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to overshadow her wedding.
She is farther along in the wedding planning and has even picked a date, I’m still early in the planning and have thought about May/June or even September depending on which venue we decide on. So that would only give 2-6mo after her wedding that I would have mine. I want to ask her 🙈 if she will be my MOH (no external responsibilities i just want her to be there next to me on my wedding day) but I don’t want to make her feel pressured to have me in her bridal party on her wedding day because I know she has a lot of important people in her friend group at home.
How or when do I ask her to be my Maid of Honor?
I plan on having at least two other bridesmaids (sister🥂 and soon to be sister in law 💕). They both live in different places as well so I don’t plan on having any bachelorette parties. I am good friends already with my sister in law 💕, we were closer back when she lived near me but she moved 15 hrs away and I used to FaceTime her everyday after work when she lived here but now she’s studying a lot and I know she’s busy so sometimes we don’t talk for 3-4 weeks at a time and have a few check ins here and there. Just for some context we have had 1-2 hiccups in our relationship before but I still feel close to her. She has never met my host sister and I’m worried she might get the wrong impression if someone she hasn’t met is my MOH (🙈)?
Additionally, my sister who is 9 years older than me 🥂 could be my Matron of Honor instead of a bridesmaid. (We have only become close-ish in the past 3-4 years starting with when she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, she has also been very supportive and offered to answer any questions I might have when planning since she has done a good amount of event planning). If I do this I would also ask a friend from high school 💅🏻 (my closest high school friend- even though we aren’t that close) We enjoy hanging out and talking and it feels natural when we are together and recently I went to church with her after being invited and it was nice but we rarely get together and even when planning there’s a lot of cancellations on her end and otherwise we talk casually here and there every few weeks. When we do get to talk I feel like she can get very invested in my life and everything going on especially the engagement/ wedding she has offered to help plan. Sometimes I feel like we are in different places of life as she is single and never went to college or a trade (which is totally ok by me) and she is very reserved so she doesn’t really like to talk about much of what’s going on in her life so I try to put more effort in here. Anyway I just sometimes feel unsure because there is times when I try to talk with her or hang out and there’s often one reason or the other that we can’t hang out. (She often gets migraines) We were friends early in highschool and I have a feeling it’s a little bit more expected that she wants to be in the bridal party. (*my sister in law 💕 and friend from hs 💅🏻 know eachother when I introduced them a few years ago).
Do I…
Maid of Honor : Host Sister 🙈
Matron of Honor : Sister 🥂
Bridesmaid: Soon to be Sister in Law 💕
Bridesmaid: HS Friend 💅🏻
What would you change or consider??
Thank you if you got to the end!