r/weddingplanning

EDIT: Friend wants to do it in the same week as mine +/- few days.

My friend and I have been friends for 10+ years and grew up in the same relatively small city.

I got engaged in November 2025 and planned to get married in November 2027 due to career/timing reasons. I’d told close friends this was our plan, and I’ve since booked our venue and planner and paid deposits.

My friend got engaged in March 2026 and now wants to get married in the same city, same month and same week.

I completely understand the same city as we both grew up there. What bothers me is choosing the same month and same week when she hasn’t booked anything and has much more flexibility.

She said same week will work out better so we can potentially coordinate the weddings/reduce costs, but I really don’t want our weddings combined or coordinated and I have communicated this clearly with her.

I know I don’t own the month or city, and she’s entitled to choose whatever date she wants. I think what hurts is that we’ve been friends for 10+ years and I wish she’d considered how this might affect me before choosing the same month and same week.

There are also other recent issues in the friendship that have made me question things, and honestly I’m now at the point where I don’t really want her at my wedding or involved in the wedding party.

The difficult part is that I would normally try to communicate all of this with her, but we’ve had similar conversations in the past when I’ve tried to set boundaries, and they haven’t gone particularly well. I don’t feel that she handles confrontation or boundaries very well, and because we’re long distance friends, I’ve chosen to just let things go rather than create drama. But with the wedding situation, I’m finding myself thinking that I just can’t be bothered anymore.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling hurt? Would you expect a close friend to discuss their plans before choosing the same week* when your wedding is already booked? And would you address the friendship directly or quietly distance yourself and keep the weddings completely separate? If so, how do I uninvite her from my wedding?

I want to do a proper wedding recap now the dust has settled but waiting on some photos to provide, but I figured I’d cover the thing that went “wrong.”

While getting ready (hair and makeup) I declined water because I just wasn’t thirsty. I then got into my dress, now declining water because I was in my dress and didn’t want to use the bathroom. I was a 2p ceremony and had started getting ready at 9a for reference.

Due to bustle issues I was a little late into my hall and we launched into everything rapid fire it felt like. I now was in the hole a champagne flute and two mixed drinks during dinner before I decided yes I will sip some water.

Then dancing started. You’re under lights, you’re throwing it back while in (maybe) heels and it is October so the heat in the room is on. I was sweating and getting a little tired. My mom put her hand on my back when I made that comment and said I felt really clammy- not good indicator for hydration! I started sipping a little more water but also another cocktail and eating more sugar than I probably had in years.

We drove that night to our weekend getaway spot (honeymoon is in November) and I had a bottle of water with me but it was too late. I go to bed with a headache, and then a migraine, and then I’m dizzy and hallucinating while getting sick to my stomach the rest of the night. In my panic I called my mom to see if anyone had food poisoning because it was every hour I was doubled over in the bathroom.

So remember you got to take care of yourself on your special day. You’re spending so much energy, you’re pulled in all directions and you will forget to take those precious minutes to assess how you’re feeling until you realize you haven’t had to pee all day because there’s no damn liquid in your body. Drink water, especially while you can. If sugar and alcohol isn’t your daily or even weekly thing but it is today, remember to take care of yourself physically!

I want to preface my questions with this: I am 60, I know old wedding planning etiquette, and this is my son's first wedding, and A, I don't want to be "that" mother inlaw, and B, my new daughter in law, doesn't have family, also, although she's been married before, she's never had a "real" wedding and is asking me questions, which is why I'm here.

•Bridesmaids & Groomsmen: My son has a groomsman who is a great guy. The problem is his girlfriend. She is the epitome of "mean girl", and in my opinion about as dumb as a bag of hammers. DIL doesn't like her, and only tolerates her. She does NOT want her in the wedding party at all! I told her today, she didn't have to. Just because her bf is a gm, she doesn't automatically get to be a bridesmaid. Is this still true?

•DIL insists on having me along while dress shopping. She said, "You'll tell me the truth." If she tries on a gown that she likes, but I absolutely hate, can I say something like, "I liked the other one better", " I think you should try more on" (if it's the first few dresses), or "It's YOUR wedding honey, you need to get the dress that you want, the dress that feels perfect for you."

• Is the mother of the groom supposed to be with her son before the ceremony? My DIL wants me with her before the ceremony.

Thanks.

Something I’ve been thinking about is how much your wedding experience depends on the people you invite. I’m Black/Nigerian, and I don’t really have a friend group that shares my cultural background or the energy I envision for my wedding.

I’ve always imagined being able to REALLY turn up at my wedding, but I’m realizing that the people around me might not necessarily match that energy. And honestly, that’s a little heartbreaking to think about. You can plan your dream wedding, but the atmosphere also depends on your guests and the energy they bring.

It makes me wonder how much you have to consider your guest list when envisioning your wedding. Like, what do you do when your dream wedding atmosphere doesn’t necessarily match your current social circle? 😭

I’m about two weeks out from my wedding, and I’m struggling with a lot of unexpected emotions. I’m wondering if any other brides have experienced something similar, because I feel like all I ever hear is how perfect everyone’s wedding was and how they wish they could relive it. Meanwhile, I’ve reached a point where thinking about my wedding sometimes gives me anxiety.

For context, I spent two years planning my wedding. I put SO much time, energy, thought, and money into it. We had a fairly substantial budget, a wedding planner, and so many personal details that I was really excited about. I cared deeply about making it a beautiful and memorable day for us and our guests.

About a month before the wedding, my anxiety became pretty severe. A huge part of it stemmed from my extended family. I come from a traditional Italian family where certain relatives can be extremely judgmental and critical. There have been lots of family conflicts over the years, and I knew that no matter what I did, there would probably be people gossiping or finding things to complain about. I also felt obligated to invite certain relatives for the sake of my parents and grandparents.
Because I had poured so much of myself into planning this wedding, I became incredibly sensitive to the possibility of people criticizing it. I was so anxious leading up to the day that I actually needed prescription medication to help manage it.

Fast forward to the wedding itself, and honestly, so many things were wonderful. The weather was absolutely perfect, I felt beautiful, I had incredible moments with my husband and bridal party, and the venue and all the little details came together beautifully. We received so many compliments about how gorgeous and thoughtful everything was.
The one thing that became an issue was the music.
My husband and I are Italian and Portuguese, but we deliberately chose a more modern DJ rather than a traditional Italian/Portuguese wedding DJ. We wanted a fun, upbeat, almost club-like atmosphere because that’s our style, and we had a lot of younger guests and friends attending.

We did have a live saxophonist earlier in the evening, which got a lot of the older guests dancing, but once the DJ transitioned into more modern music, most of the older guests were sitting or socializing while the younger crowd was dancing. Personally, I thought that was completely fine! The dance floor was busy for essentially the entire night, just predominantly with younger people.

Unfortunately, my grandmother (who has always been a very negative and critical person) approached me MULTIPLE times during my actual wedding to tell me how terrible the music was, that everyone hated it, and that people were apparently leaving because of it.

I spoke to the DJ and asked him to incorporate more music for different age groups, which he did. But ultimately, it was still a modern DJ and the music reflected what my husband and I had wanted.

What really hurt was that AFTER the wedding, my grandmother went to my parents’ house and essentially listed everything she hated about our wedding. She said the music was the worst she’d ever heard, criticized us for not having a traditional receiving line (we chose to mingle and greet everyone during cocktail hour instead), and complained about other aspects of the day.
I know intellectually that I shouldn’t care so much. It’s OUR wedding, and we planned something that reflected us as a couple. I also recognize that you simply cannot please 170+ people across different generations.

But emotionally, these comments have really affected me. Now, whenever someone tells me how beautiful our wedding was or how much fun they had, a part of my brain immediately thinks, “Are they just being nice? Did everyone secretly hate it?”
I keep replaying the negative comments and questioning whether people actually enjoyed themselves, even though I have so many positive memories and saw a packed dance floor for most of the night.

Has anyone else experienced post-wedding anxiety or sadness like this? Especially after receiving negative comments from family members?
Did you find yourself questioning whether your guests actually enjoyed the wedding, or feeling strangely anxious when looking back on it?

I really want to remember our wedding for the love, happiness, and beautiful moments we experienced, rather than letting a few negative opinions define the entire day. ❤️

Okay so this is happening on my fiancés side but for example, there are two couples where the wife is a family member (I think cousin) of my future MIL. The invite was addressed to the couple. One woman is not bringing her husband but her dad instead. The other woman RSVPd this morning for just herself then changed it this evening to include not her husband but another woman ( I think another family member of my future MIL but was not on the list she gave me). It seems like this is all family and doesn’t affect guest count so the end result isn’t an issue I guess but I’ve never seen anyone swap guests like this. My fiance also had no idea who half the people were on his mom’s list so I doubt he knows the new people (he’s not great with names though). It’s not like I can tell them not to bring them since they aren’t increasing the guest count but this is odd to me. Anyone have this happen?

Hi all,

My venue is a historic building and therefore does not allow getting ready onsite. The wedding is a month away so we have to book a getting ready location ASAP.

I have a bridal party of 5 bridesmaids plus me (the bride), so 6 people total.

We will have 3 makeup/hair artists getting us ready. My head makeup artist asked for a few tables or work surfaces to be available at the getting ready location so they can have space for their tools and kits. (This part worries me when it comes to standard hotel rooms.)

We will need another room or space for the groomsmen and groom to get ready.

We are on a budget and can't afford a massive luxurious hotel suite, so our options are individual hotel rooms or AirBnBs with more space (i.e. an entire townhouse, house, or multi-room apartment).

No, we don't live anywhere near the venue, and no, there are no relatives or friends nearby who can host us.

So with all that in mind: What should I be looking for and keeping in mind here as I search for a place to book for our needs?

So my partner and I are having a courthouse ceremony near the end of this year (date TBC, long story, beaurocracy). He's french, im australian, we were meant to get married more in early autumn but with me not being french the paperwork has been an absolute nightmare, and suddenly im getting married in winter. I'm sewing my own dress, a midi length puffy feminine dress with sheer sleeves and low neckline in pink silk muslin. I've put alot of money and time into it, as when i designed it it wouldnt be too cold. Well now i'm getting married in the cold and i know this dress is gonna freeze my ass off, especially with the sheer sleeves since i cant wear a thermal underneath. For financial reasons and sentimental reasons, im compelled to push on and wear it anyway, shiver a bit indoors and put a big coat on outside. But another part of me thinks thats delusional, I should let the dream go and design something in a sturdier fabric that i can wear layers under. we don't go to events so I'll probably never get another opportunity to wear the pink dress, and the financial hit of making a new one will suck. What would yall do?

I'm a 2027 bride and wanted to find out if anyone has ordered a custom gown from Turkey or Vietnam? How was the process in terms of sizing, communication, shipping, quality? Would love to hear your experience!

18 months of planning for a rooftop wedding in Los Angeles

A week ago it was over 100 and the worst freaking heat wave in a long time. I bought fans.

The temperature drops and today they predict rain, lol. We get tents.

The storm is called Hurricane Rachel. That’s my name 😂

I am confident there will be no rain tonight lol

But it’s here and happening, and I am waiting for my turn with makeup and a bunch of curls (and an excited and confused dog)

Good luck and vibes other October 10th brides and grooms 🤍

We have 100 guests joining us for a wedding that is international for them and domestic for around 30 guests. We’re 8 days out and I’m freaking out.

For the past 2 months I’ve felt increasing anxiety about getting married to my fiancé. I feel like we are not each others person. We’ve been fighting nonstop. We have been together 5+ years and are around 30.

Three months ago, he threatened to call off our wedding during a fight and that switched something in my brain like a lightbulb. I suddenly started thinking about our relationship from a Birds Eye view and not from a pure point of love. I realized he’s very emotionally abusive like 5-10% of the time. Maybe some of you understand this - I keep asking myself why I didn’t have clarity before. But when you live in this cycle for years, and things are only “bad” 5-10% or the time, you rationalize it, you don’t realize things don’t have to be this way. When it’s good it’s really good, but when it’s bad, it’s awful. He says mean things he doesn’t mean during fights, he yells, he drinks too much. He says stuff like “you’ve never gotten really good at anything before in your life” when he’s mad. Then, later, he apologizes, hugs me tightly, invites me out to dinner, gives me a gift. It’s cyclical :(

I started pulling back and away from him upon finally realizing this. This made us fight even more, and it cumulated with some light physical violence from him while drunk 2 months ago. He shoved me hard, multiple times and put his elbow on my neck.

We both almost called off the wedding then. But I was spiraling. I didn’t know what to do. Many people had already booked their flights. We had been planning this wedding for 2 years. I felt like it was not possible to cancel on the guests. I didn’t know what I would say to everyone - to work, to guests with plane tickets, to my friends - I couldn’t really conceptualize cancelling. He apologized (somewhat- about the shoving, he says I antagonized him and trapped him and he was merely trying to get away from me. I wasn’t that drunk and it’s not true) and we tried to move forward.

Typing all of this out I feel absolutely insane for letting it get to this point and not calling it off 2 months out. I recognize now I could have called it off then. People could have rescheduled their tickets or had time to figure it out. Now, it’s way too late. Some people are departing this weekend for the trip.

I don’t know what to do. I know he is a broken individual from a difficult family life that hasn’t matured enough. I know he is not my person. We have both spent so much time together and I have been too love sick to realize this before. TW: but the pain is so immense and heavy on me I wish I could pass away. I haven’t talked to any of my best friends because they’re coming to the wedding and I feel sick about telling them.

Used Honeyfund to collect gifts from my recent wedding. It was a very large wedding as is custom in our cultures so we got a significant amount of cash in gifts. I started to withdraw funds only to hit the $10k lifetime Venmo limit. I have probably $18k stuck there with no option to redeem except for gift cards.

There is definitely fault on our end for not reading fine print. But I feel very misled that Honeyfund was not upfront or transparent about the withdrawal limitations. We noticed a few ways that the website seemed intentionally convoluted to trap people:

1. Gifts are automatically prompted for a donation to the Honeyfund Gives charity. Elder guests were very confused and many ended up donating 10% on gifts because they thought it was a processing fee/didn’t know how to zero the balance.

2. You don’t get prompted at set up to choose wallet or bank transfer. You have to go look for the option to set up bank transfer. You also can’t elect for a bank transfer after you’ve received gifts. Fees on this method are higher.

3. Our website went live immediately when creating a page without any toggle to become active or not, making us instantly searchable.

Has anyone had luck with their support team in getting large cash sums sent to bank? We were planning to use the money for a down payment so I am pretty devastated that it feels locked up. We don’t need $18k in gift cards.

Would not recommend using this service. Go for something with more flexibility. Learn from my mistakes!!!

We’re booking an all inclusive venue so pretty much everything big is taken care of, but what are the little things I should be working on or planning to make or buy? I haven’t been to many weddings as an adult so I haven’t really noticed things that I would like or should have at mine.

My future SIL offered to make us signs, but what kind of signs would be helpful? Any other tips on what I should prep? Only other thing I can think of is like, party favors and a guest book?

Title. Not sure if I used the right flair? Either way, here it goes:

I’m a very anxious person, and I always have been. My partner and I are getting married in October ‘27 and I’m already nervous. I have never been an enjoyer of large crowds, or having all attention on me, but I will persevere for him. My biggest concern? I don’t dance. I don’t know how to loosen up and not think everyone is judging me, even if other people are doing the same thing.

Does anyone have any advice for trying to get rid of some of this anxiety? Am i just SOL? Help 🥲

Our total budget MAX is about $8k USD. We are located in the midwestern US for reference.

We would like to go to somewhere on the coast that is also a larger city. Our favorite vacations have been places like NYC or San Francisco because we were by the water and could swim if we wanted but also had a ton to do because it's a huge city. Ideally we would like to leave the country. we are open to literally anywhere this applies unless it's like a crazy flight (24h or more).

The other thing is we prefer that it is not SUPER hot. We get it, it's July, but we would prefer we aren't melting our faces off. like if it's possible to go somewhere where it's majority of the time under 100° that would be preferable. We are also lesbians so it must be LGBTQ friendly!