u/Objective_Day7884

So my original idea was we would have our introductions 10 minutes shy of cocktail hour ending, mingle and then we serve dinner at 6pm. But my fiancé just said that he would rather have us do our first dance right after introductions. Sure that’s fine. The MIL doesn’t want to do her dance after our first dance, and instead she wants her dance with my fiancé to be the one to open up the dance floor. Halfway through her song she wants everyone else to start slow dancing, and then party music starts after that dance is over. I don’t have any family, so I would still be sitting down at our sweetheart table alone away from the dance floor. Is this really our only option?

So I repeated to my in-laws what gets said a lot on this sub when it comes to RSVPs. I told them we aren’t suppose to send messages about the missing RSVPs until the day after the cutoff date has passed, and that’s why I scheduled a week buffer between the RSVP cutoff and the caterer headcount for those last minute people.

Well, they thought that was silly and decided they would handle it

So for the last week they’ve been hunting down guest. They’ve been at it almost every day, in person and over text. Some had received multiple text to RSVP. And you know what, it’s not tasteful.. but I can’t say I hate it either. RSVPs close tomorrow and we only have 8 people left to respond out of 227 guest, and I know they’re on the hunt. Let’s just hope people remember my wedding for how much they enjoyed it and not for my hounding in-laws

I feel like I’ve been a pretty chill bride. The girls voted on what shade of green dress to wear and they got to pick out their styles, then I bought all their dresses for them. Everyone has a rough idea of the hairstyle they want, I have no complaints about them

Then a bridesmaid comes up to me and asks if it’s okay to dye her hair blue. Uhh what? I feel like I shouldn’t get an opinion in what color your hair should be, but yes you get my permission!

But then it happened again. A week later another bridesmaid just asked if it was okay to CUT HER HAIR to shoulder length. WHY WOULD I CARE??

Do bridesmaids just feel like they aren’t allowed to control their appearances anymore once they get declared as bridesmaids?

So I start by saying I didn’t realize just how much we spent on them until we added it up. In total it was about $3,000. We are all between the ages of 18-29

I bought all the girls dresses, and they were SO THANKFUL. It was heartwarming. If you have the ability to do so I really recommend it over any other gift

I got them the usual pajamas, slippers and fans for the day of

Here’s where we go a bit unorthodox. We had a bridesmaids vs groomsmen escape room day and dinner on our dime. We did it on a Sunday at when everyone was off work (everyone lives under 2 hours away) it was awesome having everyone hang out together before the wedding

My MOH picked out a beautiful but pricy bachelorette trip weekend. I decided to cover a big chunk of the cost and charge the bridesmaids $100 for the whole trip. We are spending the night at the Georgia Aquarium then going to Tennessee to spend the night in a cabin

I know some of my girls didn’t have luggage so as my final hurrah, I bought everyone embroidered tote bags. I regretted it for a little bit but now I’m glad I did it. They were SO excited and now they have a way to pack their things for the trip without feeling embarrassed

My fiancé also bought tote bags, custom funny socks and the ties for the groomsmen

I knew some of my girls were struggling but I didn’t realize how bad until recently. Two of the girls in my party have gotten married in the last 2 years lost their jobs recently. Another one of my bridesmaids is having to rehome one of her dogs because he’s too expensive to maintain, and another one is saving up to move out of her parent’s house. If I didn’t cover their expenses they probably would’ve had to drop out. I’m so happy I spent so long saving up so I can treat all of my best friends

Just a rant, getting married in 2 months and I’m super excited about it! But I’m having trouble with the name change.

I should start with I hate my current last name. I would do anything to distance myself from my parents. My dad assaulted women and my mom, and she would take out her frustrations on me. I was extremely malnourished my entire underage life. I was so use to the feeling of always being hungry when I started to eat consistently I thought I was sick. I’m now a healthy weight, but I still have bad trauma responses.

I also don’t want my fiancés last name. My fiancé has a large loving family, and their last name is tied to a lot of successful businesses. They’re also the only family in the US with this name so they stand out. My fiancés goal is to start his own business so there is a motive for wanting us to keep the family name. And no matter my decision, people will still refer to me socially by his last name.

It just feels.. icky. Like I’m being stamped as his families property. I don’t hate his family. they took a little bit to come around to me because of my families history, but once they knew he was planning to propose they welcomed me with open arms. But still, I will never be able accept them as my family.

I think how I’m feeling is related to the trauma from my own parents. It’s been 2 years since I completely lost contact with my dad, my mom passed away 3 years ago. I hope I’ll eventually learn to love my last name and become friends with his family even if it takes me years.

I’m the bride, I just want to complain on behalf on my fiancé.

We got 10 people in total, ages from 18-25. There’s 2 couples in our lineup who we were in their wedding parties so we kept the tradition going. We spent over 1k each during their weddings for travel/events/gifts/outfits in 2024 and 2025. We’re all good friends and regularly hang out.

His bachelor trip and my bachelorette trip is $100pp, we’re covering majority of the cost. We’re also covering outfits, bought everyone tote bags plus travel is covered. We are not rich by any means but we’ve been saving for YEARS so we could get this right. His trip is one night and mine is the weekend.

Then his party started dropping the ball

3 weeks ago the first groomsmen speaks up. My fiancé did setup and tear down for his wedding last year, and he was seen as important enough he was able to walk down the aisle with the brides grandmother. He did months of free hard labor for him to help start his business. He can’t come because he scheduled a work contract the same day as the bachelor trip. Sure, things happen

1 week ago the second groomsmen meets with him for breakfast. My fiancé was his BM for his wedding in 2024, his wife is my bridesmaid (I was her MOH) and she’s going to my trip. He says that he can’t afford to go. Our trips has been planned for months. He has a very good paying job, but his wife quit her poor-paying job recently since they were treating her horribly. But we can cover his cost and he can pay it back whenever he’s able

Then comes third groomsmen today. He says he can’t go because they’re moving and his wife is out of work. But.. his move out dates don’t cross with the bachelor trip. He would’ve already been moved into the new apartment for a week and a half by the time the trip arrives. And his wife is also going on my trip which is happening 2 weeks before my fiancés.. it doesn’t add up

I just feel like no matter how well we plan something happens. My fiancé is a good, caring man who puts everyone else before himself. He doesn’t deserve to feel so alone right now.

I bought my dress and loved it the moment I tried it on and I get to pick it up here in the next month. It can only be found in one location. When I ordered the dress there was only one for sale online, unworn. Makes sense that people change their mind.

But later the same thing happened, I see it pop up randomly in my feed. Again for sale brand new. Then I just found it for sale 2 more times being sold brand new. This store has over 2000 dresses so seeing this many pop up of this one dress is ALOT. What is going on? Why does everyone keep buying this dress just to sell it? Am I actually crazy or should I start asking these sellers why they are selling their dress?

I know I’m thinking about this way too hard but I need any opinions

Im planning for me and the wedding party to have real colorful flowers. Peach dahlias, pink roses, orange Ranunculus, Blue Delphinium, Yellow Craspedia. Everything else will be green for the dresses, napkins, cups, etc. like a wannabe “garden party” theme. I got a really good deal on FB where I got a bunch of faux centerpieces, but they’re just green and white.

So here’s where I’m having trouble. I’ve been debating doing real or faux for the ceremony flowers (the decor/arch)

So I can either

1. Have colorful wedding lineup flowers, but with additional green/white faux ceremony florals to match the reception

2. Have colorful wedding party and ceremony florals, but the reception still be white/green

3. Buy colorful flower stems to add to the reception florals to try to match the wedding party flowers

So, Im not close with the family. I lost my mother and my father is out of the picture. Her family isn’t an option, but his side I met up with again two years ago after not seeing them for about 4-5 years. Since we are having a decent sized wedding I figured I would invite my aunts and uncles from his side. But the issue is my grandmother.

I reintroduced myself to her 2 years ago and we haven’t talked since. She does care about me but she kinda gives me the creeps, my immediate family hated her when I was younger because of some bad decisions she’s made (she hid my dads brother from him and only found out when he met him at my grandfathers funeral) She’s recently been placed in a retirement home, so someone would need to drive/watch her. The venue is an hour away and my aunts who use to take care of her now have their own families and kids to watch. The aunts and uncles always invite her to family gatherings, but they see her more as a necessary burden rather than someone they want to have around. Do I need to have her at my wedding? My emotional attachment is very limited after losing my immediate family

So my wedding is still a few months away, but while we wait we are doing a boys vs girls escape room (paid for by me, on a day everyone is off work) and everyone has been super excited for it. But the catch was me and my fiancé picked the rooms.

My fiancé picked his escape room and I picked mine, I’ve been wanting to do this one in particular for a while now. Both the rooms start off with us being blindfolded and handcuffed so it felt fair when we booked it. After I sent the scheduled booking to the GC one of the bridesmaids said she’s already done that one, and she wants to do different escape room that I’m less interested in and doesn’t include the challenge of getting out of handcuffs (not that she has a problem with it, there’s just only two rooms available that do that). She called to talk to me about it and she did eventually agree she was fine with doing it, but also said “she would ask us if we want to be freed from the cuffs or not” which.. takes the whole point out of an escape room.

So now I’m wondering, should I just give and do the escape room I’m not as interested in doing, or should I do the escape room I’ve been wanting to do but risk having one of my bridesmaids spoil the answers?