I know the general etiquette is to send Save the Dates about 6-8 months in advance for a local wedding.

My wedding is in October 2027 and will be local for most of our guests butttt I already know quite a few people who either have weddings booked for that month or are planning big trips pretty far in advance. I’m in Canada and October is not only a popular travel month because of Thanksgiving, but also a really popular wedding month. If you don’t opt for a summer wedding, fall is a pretty obvious choice here because the autumn is so beautiful (unless you're one of those people who loves winter!!) There have already been five people who, when we told them our date, said they were glad we mentioned it so early because they either already had other weddings around that time or were considering travelling that week.

Would it be crazy to send our Save the Dates in September 2026, about 13 months in advance? Is that way too early? For reference they are not physical save the dates but via e-mail.

Part of me is just excited and eager to send them but I’m also genuinely worried that if we wait too long, some people we really want there will already have other weddings or travel plans booked.

I’m only a month into wedding planning but am I the only one already annoyed by some of this stuff? I have a few pet peeves rn lol.

1. Venues being so weird about pricing. How hard is it to just give me a general idea of what I’m actually going to pay, including extra fees, taxes, and anything I’d have to cover myself? I contacted 50+ venues and only like 3 were actually good about giving me a clear idea of the full cost. Most of the others sent me 4 or 5 different brochures and I had to sit there piecing everything together myself. Then I’d email them asking if my estimate was roughly correct and suddenly there was another random fee or requirement that wasn’t listed anywhere. It’s such an immediate turn off. I’m pretty sure I could’ve made a venue I liked more work financially but I ended up choosing one that was just super upfront and honest about everything and gave me an itemized cost breakdown and estimates for everything else (florals, decor, DJ, photographers they’ve worked with), a list of recommendations, and a recent invoice from a wedding there with a similar guest count and things I wanted. At some point I got tired of doing math and detective work just to figure out if I could afford a place.

2. Venues trying to get you to come tour before giving you any actually useful info. I get that they want to know you’re serious, but my partner and I both work full time and our weekends are usually busy. I don’t want to drive out somewhere (esp since most places make you tour during business hours since they have events on weekends so I have to take time off work) and spend an hour touring it and being schmoozed unless I’m already pretty sure I can afford it and it’s one of my top choices. I also don’t want to fall in love with a place and then find out it’s way over budget and then be made to feel bad about my budget. Just tell me enough beforehand so I can decide if it’s even worth coming.

3. Photographers who won’t give even a rough idea of what their packages cost. I really don’t want to fill out a whole form, give you my phone number, tell you about my wedding, and get on a call just to find out you charge $12,000. Then getting a snarky response about my budget being unrealistic is just annoying. Not wanting to spend TWELVE THOUSAND dollars on photography is not unrealistic lol. If that’s what you charge, totally fine. Clearly people are paying it. But I had no fucking way of knowing you were in that price range because you listed absolutely nothing.

4. For the above point, same with DJs.

I swear half of wedding planning so far is just trying to get people to tell me what things cost. I know it’s a sales thing and a crazy competitive industry but now im at the point where im just booking people who list their prices or at least a general idea of them. I have a decent budget with flexibility so im not trying to penny pinch anyone but jfc

***Prices are in CAD.

Apologies if I’m missing something obvious. I’ve been neck-deep in wedding planning for a bit, but I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing half the time.

We’re planning a fall 2027 wedding for approximately 85 guests and comparing two very different venues. Both have excellent reviews. I’m mainly trying to understand how comparable they are once everything is included, not necessarily which one strangers prefer aesthetically.

I would ideally like to keep the entire wedding below or around $45,000.

Option 1: Turnkey banquet hall

This option would cost approximately $18,500-$19,000 before tax, including the ceremony and upgraded food and drink packages.

It includes:

• Passed hors d’oeuvres
• A large cocktail buffet with hot appetizers, charcuterie, cheeses, vegetables, seafood and sushi
• Prosecco toast
• Four-course sit-down dinner with multiple entrée options
• Wine and non-alcoholic drinks during dinner
• Open bar throughout the event
• Late-night pizza, pastries, coffee and tea
• Tables, chairs, linens, dishes, cutlery and glassware
• Setup, staffing and parking
• On-site coordinator and dedicated maître d’hôtel

The coordinator is essentially their version of a day-of coordinator. I confirmed that I wouldn’t need to hire one separately. They would also be available for questions in the months leading up to the wedding, oversee setup, assist with the wedding-party entrance and coordinate with the DJ.

I’ve attended events there and the food is good. It’s also central and convenient for our mostly local guests. Planning would mostly involve choosing the menu and décor, hiring the remaining vendors and showing up.

The downside is that it’s a fairly standard banquet hall in a commercial/industrial area. There’s no meaningful outdoor component, multiple events likely happen at once, and the ceremony would take place in the reception room. (They told me guests will have to wait 10-15 mins in the reception area while they flip the room.)

Option 2: Private scenic venue

This venue starts at approximately $8,000-$8,500 before tax, including the ceremony, but catering and bar service are not included.

It’s much closer to the atmosphere I picture for an October wedding in Canada. It’s a private historic venue on scenic riverside grounds with trees, gardens, water features and horses. It includes:

• Exclusive use of the venue and grounds
• Rustic and vintage décor
• Dining tables and chairs with setup
• Antique tables and décor pieces for cards, gifts, cake and the seating plan
• Furnished outdoor decks and terraces
• String lights, lanterns and a bonfire
• Bridal-party getting-ready space as of 9am
• Parking and security
• DJ licensing
• Rehearsal and planning walkthrough
• Outdoor riverside ceremony with covered and indoor weather backups

We would be the only wedding there that day. However, it’s approximately 30-60 minutes away for most guests.

They have preferred vendors and said they may be able to put together a more turnkey package. I’m waiting to see what that includes and what it costs.

My main issue is that I have no frame of reference for outside catering and bar service. I don’t know whether quotes typically include servers, bartenders, alcohol, mixers, ice, dishes, glassware, linens, equipment, delivery, setup, cleanup and gratuities or whether each of those becomes a separate expense.

I’m not hiring a wedding planner, so I’m also trying to understand the realistic workload. Does using a venue’s preferred vendors make this fairly manageable?

The starting-price difference is approximately $10,000, but that isn’t a true comparison because one option already includes nearly all food, alcohol, staffing, rentals and coordination.

For anyone who has priced or planned both types of venue:

• Once catering, bar, staffing, rentals and cleanup were included, how close was the outside-vendor venue to an all-inclusive package?
• What was actually included in your catering and bar quotes?
• Did using preferred vendors meaningfully reduce the planning workload?
• Without a planner, how much coordination did you personally have to handle?
• Does the banquet-hall package sound reasonably priced for what it includes?

TL;DR: For 85 guests, we’re comparing an approximately $19,000 turnkey hall with an approximately $8,000 private scenic venue that includes the space, décor, furniture and ceremony setup but requires outside catering and bar service. I’m trying to gauge how comparable the final prices would likely be and how much more planning the second option would involve without hiring a planner.

Hi all, looking for advice on whether this sounds behavioral/anxiety-related or if I should still be concerned medically.

I have a 6 year old male cat who is half Bengal / half American Curl. He has always been very attached to me specifically and has generally always been a vocal cat, but over the past several months his nighttime yowling outside my bedroom door has increased significantly in intensity and frequency.

For most of his life this only happened occasionally (maybe once every few weeks), but now it’s basically daily. He will yowl immediately after I close the bedroom door and often again multiple times during the night. Sometimes for long periods.

Important context:

I work from home and have for years, so there hasn’t been a major recent schedule change.

No household changes or obvious stressors.

He eats, drinks, pees, poops, and acts otherwise normal.

He recently had bloodwork and a vet checkup a couple weeks ago and everything was normal.

He gets plenty of play and attention.

I do NOT reward the yowling by opening the door.

I am not pregnant and as far as I’m aware I’m healthy, since I know people sometimes suggest cats can sense illness/pregnancy.

I tested letting him sleep in the room one night and he was completely quiet and settled immediately, which makes me think this is separation/proximity-related rather than random nighttime vocalization.
The issue is that permanently letting him sleep with me is not really an option because it also disrupts my sleep in other ways.

At this point I haven’t slept properly in weeks. I’m being woken up multiple times a night every night and it’s severely affecting my quality of life, so I’m getting pretty desperate for solutions. I’m finding myself angry and snappy all the time. My place is incredibly small and only one bedroom so I can’t really sleep elsewhere or close him in anywhere, and I don’t want to do that to him either.

Does this sound like separation anxiety / attachment behavior to you? Or are there still medical possibilities worth investigating despite the recent normal bloodwork and otherwise normal behavior? I literally took him to the vet a few weeks ago and everything came back normal. I need solutions because I feel like I am losing my mind. I already sleep with earplugs and a white noise machine but this cat is LOUD.

Thanks.