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today for the first time I ever tried writing poems I wrote 4 poems just this evening with all the feelings I have
PS: please tell me wether I should continue or not because I enjoyed it a lot
I’m Sorry
I’m sorry, that is only what I can say
I’m sorry, that is only what I can offer
after what you have been through
I’m sorry, that you suffered so much and this is only what people give
Who knows wether it’s sincere or not,
Who knows wether they care or not,
I’m sorry, that you don’t know
I’m sorry, that you can’t know what their true feelings are after what you have been through
I’m sorry, that you went through this…..
Do you love me?
Do you love me, even after what I did?
Even after what I think?
Most people would leave me from the first time but you stayed
Stayed for the first time, stayed for the second time and stayed for the 100th time
Do you love me, even after what people say?
Do you love me, even after what people think?
Most people learn from their mistakes but it seems that I don’t
But can it be called a mistake when I didn’t meant for it to happen?
When I can’t control it?
You stayed with even after my inability to control my desires and for that I thank you
I thank you for staying with me every single time I made a mistake in their eyes
I thank you for trying harder for my sake in their eyes
But…
Will you love me if I make a mistake in their eyes again?
I tried
I try and try and try, even then I reach for it
I pray and pray and pray, even then I do it
I pray to every god I see in front of me thinking it would help,
I try to stop my self by distancing myself thinking it would help,
After so many trials and prayers I start to think I am built like this,
I will function like this for my whole life by trials and prayers, even though I want it to stop,
I want to stop my rituals of prayers,
I want to stop my rituals of trials,
I want to end this once and for all,
But will I be able to do it ?
Will I be able to stay away from it like a prey from its predator?
Will I be able to control myself like a hermit in the mountains?
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Will I be like they say?
I’m Okay
I’m okay, even if they think they hurt me
I’m okay, even if they think that I hurt myself
Does it matter, if there is no one?
If they don’t care?
Does it matter? If they won’t understand me?
If they won’t try to understand me
I’m okay, like the wildflower
I’m okay, like the insect
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I’m okay?
this is the Order in which I wrote these poem these are all original drafts with no editing and written from my pov of what i am feeling