AITA for wanting to leave my partner after being told I'm the only problem in our relationship?
I (41F) have been with my partner (43M) for seven years. We own a house together and have a blended family with four kids.
Our relationship has been difficult for a while. There are a lot of things that frustrate me, but I rarely bring them up because I don't feel heard. When I do try to express concerns, I often feel dismissed or even ridiculed. I also struggle with anxiety, which can be severe and is a huge challenge for my partner (I faint). A couple of weeks ago, I told my partner that I felt like our relationship was at a crossroads.
Recently, two incidents have become the focus of every argument.
The first happened while I was asleep. My partner accidentally shined a light directly into my eyes, waking me up. Apparently I immediately yelled, "OMG, [partner's name]!" He apologized at the time, but I have a very light sleep and ended up lying awake with insomnia. I even had a panic attack because I had this feeling that somehow the situation would end up becoming my fault. Sure enough, the next day he was upset with me for yelling at him when I woke up.
The second incident happened before we were leaving for a concert. I spent about an hour getting the kids ready for bed. It was my partner's turn to clean the kitchen before we left. When I came back, only about half of it had been cleaned. I was frustrated because we were running late and my dad was there to take care of the kids. My partner said I should have specifically told him which parts of the kitchen still needed cleaning and accused me of micromanaging him.
I admit my tone wasn't great, and I apologized for that. But he still insists my entire reaction was completely over the top.
This morning I tried to have a serious conversation with him. I told him that I've been under a lot of emotional distress, and that I feel trapped because every time I try to talk about issues in our relationship, I don't feel heard and nothing changes.
His response was that he "can't handle my distress anymore." He then brought up those same two incidents again, told me I have anger issues, suggested we install cameras in the house so I could see how I supposedly talk to him, and said that I'm the only problem in the relationship.
At this point, I'm honestly thinking about moving out. I've been considering leaving for a while, but what really gets me is that every attempt to discuss deeper relationship issues somehow comes back to these relatively small moments and ends with me being told that I'm the sole problem.
There are kids involved, which makes the decision much harder.
AITA for wanting to end the relationship over this?